~ OCTOBER 1st - 15th, 2007 ~

(the latest entries are always added to the top)

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. - AL I:40

Monday October 15th 2007 – 4:30pm I received a great photo of artwork done by LUNA for Grady's poem RUST. She writes, "It's going to take me five lifetimes to get all the illustrations for every Grady poem ever written drawn RRRRRRRRRRRRRR Enjoy!"  ... and I did!!!  Click HERE to Enjoy!

   

2:00pm Thanks to everyone asking about my health ... I'm doing OK! Every time I have a slight attack the following few days or so put me into slow mode and I seemingly fall behind in alot of my duties. I guess I have to get use to this because I'm not getting any younger. Anyway, I go back into the doctor's on the 23rd for more tests and hopefully I'll get good news.

7:30am I’ve been reviewing one of my student’s Liber Resh vel Helios diaries all morning. It’s extremely good and he has much that I will be sharing with my reader’s over time. At one point, at the beginning, he writes, “I missed mid day Resh – easy when I have the day off like yesterday but harder when I work – like today. I must take a bathroom break every day about noon.” .... Answer: This is a typical problem with most students: rooted in the fear of disclosure. Grady McMurtry, tells a great story about when he first saw Crowley doing Liber Resh. "We had taken one of those big red double-decker buses and were sitting on the bottom level on the left about half way. We were sitting there talking, when suddenly Crowley glanced up to the left, said, 'Pardon me a moment', closed his eyes, made some mystic passes with the fingers of his right hand, and mumbled something unintelligible. Unintelligible to me, anyway. It wasn't until later that I figured out that he had been doing the noon Liber Resh. The thing that is so striking is that he was so quiet about it. To hear some people talk you would think that he would have rushed up to the top deck and shouted it 'from the housetops' to all of greater London. There may have been times when he did, but he didn't do it that day." ... Yes, you can be very quiet, even reciting Liber Resh ‘internally’ ... The clue is the magickal affirmation and the question you need to ask is to whom are you reciting? ... Of Resh Crowley writes, “The Object of this practice is firstly to remind the aspirant at regular intervals of the Great Work; secondly, to bring him into conscious personal relation with the centre of our system; and thirdly; for advanced students, to make actual magical contact with the spiritual energy of the sun and thus draw actual force for him." ... Like most rituals; Resh functions ‘horizontally’ and ‘vertically.’  On the horizontal or mundane level Resh deals with the actual Sun. The average person does Resh in the hopes to unconsciously set in motion internal processes. But for advanced students; on a vertical level or internally, they must never forget that although Resh allegorically uses the Sun in our Solar System it doesn’t take a brain surgeon to realize the Great Work is an ‘internal’ process.  Right?  It is quite simple. We must, as magicians, learn how to ‘feel’ the solar tides which act as the “super highway between us and our internal Sun” in order to properly communicate with our daimon whose constitution is derived from these elemental forces and then let him bring us up to the center of our system, to our Sun or Star which enables us to tap into our Higher Self, the source of our power ... and again, is this an ‘external’ process?  NO! So why does everyone think magickal invocations must be shouted out loud all the time as if your daimon can't hear you otherwise? I’m not saying you can’t proclaim things boisterously but sooner or later you must realize why Crowley considered this the single most important ritual magicians must always do. If what you are trying to achieve is horizontal, or for the first two reasons, then shout it out but if you are attempting the third, do what thou wilt.

6:15am Luna sent some great pictures that she took during CROWLEYMAS; click HERE and enjoy.     THANK YOU LUNA!

Saturday October 13th 2007 – 7:30pm Here is an entry from diary from earlier today : "1:25pm Well, after a long morning recuperating from Crowleymas I’m slowly getting back on my feet. I had a slight scare awhile ago; my health took a turn, heart skipped a few beats, got dizzy etc and I was forced to take one of my Nitroglycerin tablets and then rest. It was almost a 911! I guess long nights partying may be a thing of the past for me until I get my much needed heart surgery. But then again, haven't I said that before?" ... But no worry folks. I am  actually doing good and I'll get around to answering emails most likely tomorrow.

9:00am Yes, we celebrated CROWLEYMAS last night which went until about one-thirty in the morning! The rain yesterday did not dampen the spirits of all the revealers who attended this year’s festivity! There were lots of snacks, munchies and good food. Wine and beer flowed generously along with an abundance of great conversation. Aleister Crowley would have been proud! I want to thank everyone for making this year a success and I was especially moved when we all sung, in tune, ‘Crowley the Master Therion!’ which is one of the traditional Crowleymas Song! Special thanks to Ben whose help made everything possible but couldn’t attend and to Paul whose smile always inspires happiness at every gathering. And deepest recognition goes out Luna and Leigh whom I finally got to meet after hundreds of emails have gone back and forth; these are two really neat people. Gems in a Thelemic world. Also, it was nice to finally meet Jerri! A feisty little Pisces on-line, feisty on my blog and feisty cute thing in person! (Great smile.) Wished you lived closer! And our love goes out to Mick and Lin; both of whom were sick with a cold and unable to make it. Hope you guys feel better. And for those who couldn’t make it, for whatever reason, there is always next year! Again, thanks to all the others who attended who made things very enjoyable.

CROWLEY THE MASTER THERION!

(sung to the tune of Rudolf the Red Nose Reindeer)

Crowley, the Master Therion,

Had a talk with Ra-Hoor-Kuit

And if you ever read it

You’d embrace Hadit and Nuit.

All of the other magi

Used to laugh and call him names.

They never let poor Crowley

Play any Enochian Chess games.

Then one foggy solstice night

Mathers came to plead,

Crowley with your magic might

Please don’t eat my soul tonight.

 

(spoken: * Not on your life McGregor!)

Then how the magi feared him

As they fell upon their knees.

Crowley, the Master Therion,

You’ll go down in infamy.

8:20am Luna and Leigh both attended this years Crowleymas party and from Luna I received a great email this morning. She writes, "We had a great time.  Driving home, I had to say aloud "there are no cooties on us!"......kid tested, angel approved!...Jerry's house is clean, cool, cognitive, silly and FUN filled 93!!!!! ... I'm terrible with names...but I had to chuckle at seeing her sitting there with the two Grady books on her lap...her name is Geri?...anyway, I'd love to be a fly on the wall at her place while she reads the two volumes!  I told her to watch out...that I got "posessed" by Grady and emailed the world that "I was him".....too funny! ... Leigh had a great time. We couldn't stop talking about how comfortable we were. ... Paul cracks me up.....he physically looks like my nephews, so he has that going for him right out the gate...kindred spirit and all...but he is really funny....and he had me in stitched with one comment while you were introducing "Visitor Q" and I almost blew beer out my nose! ... Charles is great!  We reminisced about an old punk rocker that we both know. ....Orlando is his name. Orlando was the only African-American Punk Rockers in our Bay Area Universe. Orlando dated the young Amerind runaway whose name was Julie...Julie was my "ward" for about a year...she is the one that changed her name to Eris after reading a ranting poem I wrote ... and Eris, Orlando's girlfriend is the one in the same girl that was on acid the night that Dragon and I flipped the switch in the OTO office in West Oakland. .... Anyway...Orlando's band did some sort of weird cover of the "Love Boat" theme and the song was titled "Death Boat:"...and when I keep refering to us all being on the same big love boat....I took this from Orlando......so Hail Charles and his continuation of the legacy! ... I just loved watching you pull out your art and show it to people.  This is what I do .... and you reminded me of myself....and that put a smile on my face! OK......! Thank YOU! 93 93/93 Luna." ...  My answer: No ... thank YOU!   You and Leigh put smiles on alot of people's faces last night!

8:00am And our friend Dave from the sunny state of Florida writes, "Jerry 93! Happy Crowleymas, I wish I lived closer. I even talked to my boss to see if I could make it out this week with work as an excuse. Instead he invited me to come out this coming week. I feel a need for a field trip.....Fields bookstore that is. Thanks for the pointers to the Epistles. This stuff is helping me alot." 

Friday October 12th 2007 – TODAY IS CROWLEYMAS! It is in honor of Aleister Edward Crowley being born on this date in 1875 at 36 Clarendon Square in Leamington Spa, Warwickshire to Edward and Emily Crowley. In his autobiography Crowley claimed he was “remarkable from the moment of his birth. He bore on his body the three most important distinguishing marks of a Buddha. He was tongue-tied, and on the second day of his incarnation a surgeon cut the fraenum linguae. He had also the characteristic membrane, which necessitated an operation for phimosis three lustres later. Lastly, he had upon the centre of his heart four hairs curling from left to right in the exact form of a Swastika.” He’s been called everything from “Wickedest Man in the World” to the “Great Beast 666.” It is on this date that Thelemites around thworld celebrate ‘Crowleymas,’ or the Thelemic holiday honoring the birth of their prophet. He died on December 1, 1947 in Hastings, England of bronchitis and cardiac degeneration. He was 72 years old. It has long been reported that the last thing which the Great Beast tearfully said just before he died, while his hand was gently being held by his dear friend Frieda Harris, was - “I am perplexed!” But this is not true. Although they might have been the last words that he spoke to her, she was not at his bedside when he died. His real last words, which were spoken to his nurse, were - “Sometimes I hate myself.”

CROWLEYMAS!

This years celebration and feast

in honor of the birth

of our prophet

Aleister Edward Crowley (1875-1947)

will be held on Friday Night October 12th at 6:30pm at J.Edward Cornelius' apartment

If you want to attend, send me an email for directions and what you should bring!

cornelius93@aol.com

party sponsored by

~ THE GREAT WILD BEAST FURTHERMENT SOCIETY ~

Thursday October 11th 2007 – 9:20am Regarding CORNELIA No.14 Rey writes that he is “definitely looking forward to reading” this issue as it has “my current favorite thread ... MEMOIRS OF AN OTO INITIATE, Being an Historical Romp into a Quasi-Magickal Fraternity in California!” Thanks Rey, glad you are enjoying the series!

7:35am Another student writes, “That most recent blog about "relationships" reminds me to ask you to voice your ideas about the dangers of justification versus actual revelation. ... When someone says something like "Is it possible, and perhaps why I've incarnated as Aquarius, that family is a tool that gives me a foundation in Malkuth?" it seem to border on justification for having taken one direction over another. I'm curious to your views on how people can 'transpersonally identify' and use that identification as justification for all kinds of things; "The gods told us to sacrifice virgins in order to appease them," then girls are forced to have sex and then "the gods have determined that whores make better sacrifices because of their impurity." I'm really going broad in my examples but . . .  :-/  Its the difference between those that create phantoms from their delusions versus those that actually have revelations that cause the Will to push forward in the destined direction.” ..... Answer: Good questions but what you ask could fill volumes because the only proper answer is to reflect upon individual situations rather than making broad assessments. However, if I did make a broad statement about the issue that originally inspired you to write it might be that humanity simply finds solace in excuses. I answered my other student this morning with the old “if a child puts his hand on a hot stove” example. We could now say that the excuse was, “I didn’t know any better.” but if he put his hand back onto the stove, then what?  The first excuse is no longer valid. So what will he now say, “I didn’t think it was turned on?”  And if he did it a third time?  What you are asking is whether or not the child simply doesn’t get it or if it’s his True Will to touch the stove and how do we determine such. The answer is simple. True Will is rooted in Tiphereth not Malkuth! In other words, I ‘want’ to touch the stove and my actions to do such are rooted in the reason why I’ve incarnated and thus they are reflections of my True Will. - Ah, do you see the Catch 22? - But the reason we incarnate is to gain experience so the bottom line is when is the child going to learn? As a scientist we want “to push forward in the destined direction” which is the fulfillment of the experience (i.e. True Will) that we chosen in regards to our incarnation but personally, I’d like all my fingers intake when doing such and thus I no longer touch hot stoves. ... I also understand your virgin to whore scenario but in the future I would rather you not use as an example anything which could imply even the most remote justification that one’s True Will might be to hurt others. This only leads to problems.

6:45am My student replied to yesterday’s blog entry of 11am writing, “Ah, but I do believe existence is pure joy; that all the sorrows are but as shadows.  Existence is not qualified here - even existence as a miserable little man is pure joy. If I didn't derive some joy out of being a miserable little man, I would have terminated my existence long ago.  If I do not fully feel the strong lows, how will I ever find the balance in the experience of the strong highs?” .... Answer: What you say sounds logical except as magicians we act as scientists. In other words; if as a child you stuck your hand on a hot stove the experience guided you into determining proper patterns for your future. If you repeatedly stick your hand on a hot stove, making the same mistake over and over then you’ve learned nothing through the experience. The issue with yourself is not experiencing lows & highs but repeatedly putting your hand on a hot stove as if to imply you’ve learned nothing. The key word here being 'experience.' ... Remember what Confucius has said, “By three methods we may learn wisdom:  First, by reflection, which is noblest;  Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest.”   Many of your emails always portray an undertone of bitterness of the situation that you find yourself in; perhaps your choice of methods needs up-grading?

Wednesday October 10th 2007 – 11:00am A student wrote a lengthy email, in this he commented, “And Jerry, don't take this the wrong way - it's simply an observation that you can take for what you will - but sometimes you come across as very bitter towards women and relationships.” ... I replied, “For the record and with a great big smile; I love those foul little creatures; bitterness is only a cloak worn toward one particular individual and I think you know who it is. All in all, virtually all my ex-girlfriends and I are on great terms; some of whom I still email back and forth with. I love relationships; each is a joy of self-discovery and external exploration. I think the difference between you and me, where I try to kick your ass, is that I know in the end it all doesn’t matter and as a magician I know that I can’t take anything with me after death. We are simply here to gain experience in a particular type of incarnation that we’ve chosen and it is in this light that each new relationship that comes ‘into’ my Universe must accept me and my magick 100% without ever trying to change me or make me do what they feel are mundane requirements for ‘our’ existence. Yes, I can bend, I can offer infinity toward sharing in a relationship but the one thing that I will never do is sell my Soul or reasons why I incarnated to appease another. However, I see magicians time and time again getting into relationships where they’re forced to relinquish control of their magickal practices and in this light guilt often become a snickering bed fellow when they're bathed in self-reflection.” ... My student then asks, “Is it possible, and perhaps why I've incarnated as Aquarius, that family is a tool that gives me a foundation in Malkuth?  Or, is it rather that my emotions are my weakest spot, and that is where the demon has attacked most ferociously?” ..... Answer: of course to both questions; but why are you so guilty about it? Guilt has been a consistent theme of yours since we first met well over fifteen years ago. You forget that family, cute Oriental girls, job, money, books, home, cute Oriental girls and all other Malkuthian things like cute Oriental girls, are part of our playground in regards to the incarnation that we've chosen.  Did I mention cute Oriental girls? Anyway, what you seek is no different than what I or others seek on a ‘horizontal’ level. The difference being is that you choose to climb ‘vertically.’ This does not imply that you must give up everything mundane, or on the horizontal plane, rather than simply keeping it in perspective. This is where you often fail. As Crowley warns all initiates, “Don’t cross the planes!” And I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again, stop beating yourself up! ... Here is a quote that I sent to another student about six years ago: “If a man is upset that he cannot climb the mountain off in the distance then perhaps he shouldn’t always be looking for a ball and chain to tie himself down to his backyard but if he has a ball and chain, let him accept it and smell the flowers near his feet and be content.”  ..... and finally my student wrote, “I could ramble on, Jerry, but to what end?  It seems I can't even motivate myself by what the ‘bad cop’ says. I can't seem to grasp what really matters any more. I tried giving my all, but it appears this vessel I am is not worthy; certainly I have shown zero aptitude for fulfilling even the most basic requests from you. I don't like feeling this way, but everything seems pointless, even going through the motions in Malkuth. To what end?” .... Answer: Ah, sounds like the Dark Night of the Soul has her hands firmly around you throat and slowly squeezing the life out you. To what end you ask?  - Life! -  You simply need to enjoy it. You have always been someone looking off at the mountains. Maybe it’s time for you to stop wishing of things you can’t have and to simply walk around your backyard for awhile?

Tuesday October 9th 2007 – 9:45am CORNELIA No.14 is officially released! You can buy it now! This issue contains Aleister Crowley's THE WAKE WORLD; a piece in which Crowley wrote is “a poetical allegory of the relations of the soul and the Holy Guardian Angel.”  Also in this isue is the next installment of THE MAGICKAL ESSENCE OF ALEISTER CROWLEY, NO.11  - An Open Letter on Liber Resh vel Helios - Part One ... also included is Chapter Eight of the crowd-pleasing series titled MEMOIRS OF AN OTO INITIATE, Being an Historical Romp into a Quasi-Magickal Fraternity in California and finally, for our biography section, we detail MARGARET ALETHEA GYLES  and her connections with Crowley and W.B.Yeats!

8:50am Peter sent an email. He writes, “Dear Jerry, 93! On your blog you said: There is a forty-five page expulsion notice permanently on file for historians to review in regards to all the emails sent back and forth stemming from this date in early October leading up to her expulsion ... I would like to have this file. please send it over via email  :-)  Best wishes from a foggy Zuerich, Peter 93 93/93.”

Monday October 8th 2007 – 7:45am OK, I am slowly coming back out of hiding after a week of being lost in misc whatever’s! I’m an emotional Cancer, I’m entitled, so sorry for not posting more stuff but life has simply been very hectic, crazed and bathed in magickal retrospectives. It is coming up to the one year anniversary of one of our AA students doing unthinkably treacherous acts against the Order in which she had sworn spiritual Oaths; Oaths not to us but to herself which lead to her crashing the official AA website, then lying about why she did it and then verbally attacking and degrading the Order, her superior and myself in writing as if it were our fault for her actions. There is a forty-five page expulsion notice permanently on file for historians to review in regards to all the emails sent back and forth stemming from this date in early October leading up to her expulsion ... and I have recently been reviewing these events carefully in the hopes to glimmer a shred of truth as to why she flipped out; events which I might add that were so stressful it caused me to have a heart attack last October. ... Be that as it may, I loved this woman more than life itself, still do but I am at a loss to figure out why she did what she did but I do know that she took 6th Degree Initiation in the OTO in Los Angeles which obviously affected her poorly because she immediately returned to Berkeley and attacked Grady McMurtry's AA. And sadly, of all the ‘mundane’ goodness that she now thinks she can do within the OTO, the history of her ‘name’, whenever mentioned, will forever be over-shadowed with footnotes of her treachery; not only to her own spiritual progress but to the AA, Thelema and to the New Aeon in general. Anyway, I hope to get around to answering everyone's emails in this up-coming week but right now, I thank you all for your patience with giving this lowly Cancer his moments of self-reflection. Of this student who now bathes in a River of Denial, I want you to know that we still love you, still care for you and our heart goes out to you on the path that you’ve chosen to walk and we still hold out hope that someday, if nothing else, at least bridges can be mended when souls can stand close enough to at least smile at one another. Yes, we forgive you.

Saturday October 6th 2007 – Of note: The next Movie Night will be Friday October 26th at 8:00pm. On this evening we will be showing the Scottish cult classic THE WICKER MAN (1973) The plot is simple; a devote Christian named Sergeant Neil Howie is sent an anonymous letter recommending that he investigate the disappearance of a young girl, Rowan Morrison, on the remote Hebridean island of Summerisle. During his investigation he discovers that the entire population follows a neo-pagan Sun worshipping cult engaged in fertility rituals and sexual magick in order to appease nature and that the entire island is planning a human sacrifice in a huge 'Wicker Man' which they believe will restore fertility to their orchards. In the final shot of the film, the islanders surround the burning wicker man and sing the English folk-song ‘Sumer Is Icumen In’. A true classic! ...  Bring popcorn!

Thursday October 4th 2007 – Sorry for being so 'lost' of late, for not answering all my emails and for not posting as much as I usually do but I've been devoting lots of time & energy into finishing CORNELIA No.14. ... I hope to have it finished up today & in the printers later, or tomorrow at the latest!  I'll post on my blog when the issue is ready.

Wednesday October 3rd 2007 – I added another painting, check it out. Here.

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"There were plants, And birds, And rocks And things”

-America's Horse With No Name

Love is the law, love under will. – AL I:57

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