~ OCTOBER 16th - 31st, 2007 ~
(the latest entries are always added to the top)
Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. - AL I:40
Wednesday October 31st 2007 – HAPPY WEENIE DAY! ... Here are a few rules to abide by that were sent to me by my friend John. Enjoy:
A Few Halloween Rules
1. When it appears that you have killed the monster, NEVER check to see ifit's really dead.2. Never read a book of demon summoning aloud, even as a joke.3. Do not search the basement, especially if the power has gone out.4. If your children speak to you in Latin or any other language which theyshould not know, shoot them immediately. It will save you a lot of griefin the long run. However, it will probably take several rounds to kill them, so be prepared. This also applies to kids who speak withsomebody else's voice.5. When you have the benefit of numbers, NEVER pair off and go alone.6. As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.7. Never stand in, on, or above a grave, tomb, or crypt. This would apply toany other house of the dead as well.8. If you're searching for something which caused a loud noise and find outthat it's just the cat, GET OUT!9. If appliances start operating by themselves, do not check for short circuits;just get out.10. Do not take ANYTHING from the dead.11. If you find a town which looks deserted, there's probably a good reasonfor it. Don't stop and look around.12. Don't fool with recombinant DNA technology unless you're sure youknow what you're doing.13. If you're running from the monster, expect to trip or fall down at leasttwice, more if you are female. Also note that, despite the fact that youare running and the monster is merely shambling along, it's still movingfast enough to catch up with you.14. If your companions suddenly begin to exhibit uncharacteristic behaviorsuch as hissing, fascination for blood, glowing eyes, increasing hairiness,and so on, kill them immediately.15. Stay away from certain geographical locations, some of which are listedhere: Amityville, Elm Street , Transylvania, anywhere in Texas wherechainsaws are sold, the Bermuda Triangle, or any small town in Maine.16. If your car runs out of gas at night on a lonely road, do not go to thenearby deserted-looking house to phone for help. If you think that it isstrange you ran out of gas because you thought you had most of a tank,shoot yourself instead. You are going to die anyway, and most likely beeaten.17. Beware of strangers bearing tools. For example: chainsaws, staple guns,hedge trimmers, electric carving knives, combines, lawn mowers, butane torches, soldering irons, band saws, or any devices made from deceased companions.18. If you find that your house is built upon a cemetery, now is the time tomove in with the in-laws. This also applies to houses that had previousinhabitants who went mad or committed suicide or died in some horriblefashion, or had inhabitants who performed satanic practices.19. Dress appropriately. When investigating a noise downstairs in an old house, women should not wear a flimsy negligee. And carry a flashlight,not a candle.20. Do not mention the names of demons around open flames, as these canflare suddenly. Be especially careful of fireplaces in this regard.21. Do not go looking for witches in the Maryland countryside.Tuesday October 30th 2007 – 8:05pm My typing was just interrupted by a faint rumble. My apartment slowing started shaking, longer than anything every experienced before. The shaking grew stronger and stronger and lasted maybe five or ten seconds until – WHAM!!!! – an earthquake hit! Wow! It was good. A few pictures fell over but no serious damage. I immediately turned on the NEWS and they’re saying it hit south near San Jose. It was a magnitude 5.6! The Calaveras Fault Erupted! Lots of aftershocks have been happening; ten small ones between 1.3 thru 3.1 in just a few minutes! Ah, a reminder that California is alive!
Friday October 26th 2007 - 3:10pm Jerri replies, “Geez...that last post from Miguel--you have no idea!! Without getting too personal, and TOO honest, I will say only this: One could also argue that the nature of our beautiful universe is that it reflects back to us things that we deny and ignore -ABOUT OURSELVES. That bullshit meter should surely be pointed both ways, 'cause women definitely don't corner the market on bullshit...and the discernment, to which I've referred, has to start from within before it can be aimed properly without. If we find ourselves in any type of relationship where the other party is full of shit, why are we there in the first place? If that has been the bulk of our experience, perhaps the reality is not that it is something outside ourselves that's "wrong," it's something within that we are not dealing with. Ok. That's it. I'll leave it alone now...yes, yes, I know...women just can't shut up. It's true. I confess.” ..... Answer: Brilliantly said from a person with no Earth in their chart! At the same time her email came in Aisha sent one regarding Miguel’s posting, she writes, “This is obviously a man who needs his balls flam-bayed and sautéed! Kinda dense, no? Is he a Gemini or Scorpio?” ... Ah, yes, I knew Miguel’s email would get the woman smacking their lips and heating up the frying pan on the stove! That’s why I posted it! [big smile here].
2:18pm Dave writes, “Love the Blog---It's Semi-Erotic!” 1:30pm Robert writes, “... loved the blog from Jerri I laughed out loud. I think you and I are having the same conversations with her!”12:40pm Miguel sent an email writing: “Given recent blog postings I think I would like to add that I have always thought of cannabalism as one of the highest expressions of the romantic. Christianity as well as many other PRIMITIVE religions have concurred with me on this point. Many of our usual sexual habits border on cannibalism; kissing, biting and such, we even use the term 'eating' to refer to one of my favorite pastimes with a lover. :-) I think the modern vampire romance is based in our cultures willingness to accept cannibalism, CONSENTUALLY OF COURSE, as a legitimate expression of love. In response to “Perhaps if more men were a bit more discerning, and were looking for someone they could talk to and connect with on more than just a sexual level, half of this issue would be solved...” I would like to say that humanity should thank the stars that men can be so sexually oriented. Many of us men are very discerning and do look for someone to talk to and connect with. Unfortunately so much bullshit comes out of the female mouth when it opens we have to rely on nature's wisdom to give us a fetish for bullshit in order to reproduce. :-o Seeing historically that women were the primary caregivers and educators (as is still very much the case) of the patriarchal male, it can also be easily argued that women have always had an opinion it just wasn't a very good one. >;-)>” ..... Answer: OUCH! 11:50am Jerri replies, “93 again, You are adorable - I'll spank you only if you tell me (lies) you want my mind as much as my body! Loves and 93's.” ..... Answer: OK.10:55am Just as I sent off my email to Jerri I realized she had replied to my blog entry of ‘lime juice’ from this morning under the subject matter of “I'll pass you the lime myself!” ... My reply included much of her email. She began, “Nice. very nice. Read your blog...and as I was thinking some "profound" thoughts on good and evil, you have to throw in the woman bit. Geez...I know that you are baiting me, and this is a joke.” ... My reply included much of her email. I wrote, “Admittedly, I have a very warped sense of humor; it’s my Scorpio moon showing. I enjoy impishly holding my hands over my mouth like Linda Blair in The Exorcist after she watched the priest have a heart attack and die, as I write stuff. I ask you, “What fun are those blogs which have no sparring sense of humor?” A few of my dear friends, like Aisha who use to live in this building, just loves throwing humorous comments back at me which only fuel my smiles and she knows it. It’s all in fun. She’s not in my AA or even into Crowley but she’s a neat person. ..... You ask, “How do you compare cooking and eating a womans flesh to a woman being defensive and argumentative?” ... Answer: I can’t! But the thought of it made me chuckle. ..... And then you add that “... subtly suggesting she deserves her flesh to be flam-bayed and sauteed...because finally the man gets even! Wow, my dear, I think we need to talk about this!” ... Answer: I agree, I am so ashamed of myself. You can spank me later. ..... You then wrote, “First of all, women have just gotten the "right" to an opinion very recently in our history. In fact, in many parts of the world, women are quiet and subservient-and will offer you no opposition at all. They will be the good little breeders that you guys want. Men have had all of the power and control in our society since it's inception...men have always had the upper hand. Finally we are "afforded" the privilege of chewing on your arms. You should be THANKFUL :-)” ..... Answer: You are right. Again, I am so ashamed of myself. ..... Then you wrote, “Secondly, I know that there are plenty of psychotic bitchy women out there, more in fact than there are wonderful women, but when are you guys going to take some responsibility for the fact that you are picking all the wrong women! Women have been objectified in our society and in many cases, behave just that way...Your little heads do more "thinking" than the heads on your shoulders, and perhaps that is part of the problem. Many of you guys care more about finding a hole to stick it in than you do about finding proper companions. Perhaps if more men were a bit more discerning, and were looking for someone they could talk to and connect with on more than just a sexual level, half of this issue would be solved...” ..... Answer: I canmt trype my answwerr welkl cause my armis being chewed on. ..... And finally, you ended your email, “Well, my dear, this is fun, and I've passed you the lime my damned self! I know what Aeon it is :-)” ..... Answer: Thanks for putting me in my place and I damn well deserve it. Since you took the bait do you feel like a fish flopping out of water? They too are good flam-bayed and sautéed!” 10:50am I answered Jerri’s email of the 25th. She writes, “I am very happy to hear that your health is stable” however, she then adds - “but I didn't like your last remark..."I THINK I'll be around for a while"...no you WILL be around for a while...a LONG while...you've got MANY more years ahead of you--weren't supposed to have 3 wives? You've only gotten through 2! Ha...” .... To which I replied, “Are you trying to torture me? I know Luis believes that he sees me having three wives but I like to think of the ‘third wife’ as a kinda metaphorical embrace of my ‘Inner Self’; this way if she nags me I can simply immerse myself into Malkuth, ignore her and go out for a triple mocha latté. How’s that for dancing?” ..... She then wrote, “I enjoyed your story about your HGA as well. I have had several experiences, which I think are related now. I think I've met my Daemon when I was young... I used to see him all the time--sometimes in my dreams, sometimes while conscious and awake. I was afraid of him, but sometimes he was my dearest love. Recently, I had an experience where I woke up from sleep and found a man (almost like an older version of the man I used to see when I was a kid) in flowing white robes, floating above my bed. He was made out of bright light. I felt a very strong sense of recognition, and no fear or confusion... I had the very distinct sensation that this entity was not a part of me and not something that I had dreamt or imagined. I said "oh, it's only you." and then got up to use the bathroom. I can't say for sure what that was...but it definitely felt like something was trying to tell me something...or at least to indicate that I'm on the right track...” ..... Answer: Glad you enjoyed my HGA story. Common sense tells us that our daimon can easily manifest outside our body because isn’t it a ‘go-between’ from heaven to earth; leaving our body to go and relay messages? So naturally there are times when we can see our daimon on an occasion of it leaving or coming. Remember, we ‘clothe it in the image of our desire.’ To me it might have appeared as a white glowing ball, to you a man in white robe and who knows what to someone else. Anyway, most people have had similar experiences to yours and mine but in our society we are taught to dismiss such things or we’re afraid to admit them because of ridicule. Sadly, few people ever consider the possibility that something is trying to tap us on the head and say, “You’re on the right track.” 9:45 This morning I wrote to a student: “I enjoyed the Buddhist thoughts but ‘annihilation of the ego’ is impossible in our society. Western magick has long realized this folly within Eastern religions. We believe our persona or ego [centered in Tiphereth) is the driving factor defining our Star on Malkuth, or who we are in our incarnation. Remember, as magicians we fully know that the ego must be ‘conquered’ because if it remains outside our control it corrupts all that lays below Tiphereth on the Tree of Life in its desire to focus downward. However, we do not want to annihilate our ego because we understand its importance; annihilation implies total destruction of Self. Although we understand why Buddhism embraces this premise we are not so willing to give up our identity which is a contradiction in Thelema. We know that inevitably upon death that the Self disappears into All but the Key phrase is ‘upon death.’ I would also not use the word ‘transcended’ or ‘absolute emptiness’ in regards to what we must do in regards to ego. Again, ego defines us ... it’s the Beauty behind our incarnation. Anyway, it’s nice to study eastern philosophy but don’t get so caught up into its philosophy that you forget your roots!”9:40am I replied to a student regarding the metaphor I previously used in my blog on October 11th. I wrote, “As far as the ‘stove’ goes, it’s not a reference to any given thing, like a women but of ‘situations’ ... it’s the ‘action’ of repeatedly touching a hot stove; not the stove itself that must be examined. A good rule of thumb: never blame the inanimate object! Take responsibility for your actions. But I think you know that. You [also] wrote, “Or maybe I'll just use the excuse that since I've fucked up this incarnation I'll just have to wait for the next one.” No one really fucks up an incarnation; we’re here to experience life; to experience certain lessons, so what makes you think you’ve ‘fucked up’ and are not simply following the appropriate path? The key is to lighten up. Remember what Crowley said: “The Common defect of all mystical systems previous to that of the Aeon whose Law is Thelema is that there was no place for Laughter.” Take life in stride. If you take it too seriously you’ll go mad or become a Republican!”8:15am Aisha - “If you want to eat me you’ll have to do better than that!"7:40am Since my blog has a tendency to focus on the occasional twisted items which amuse me I thought I might share this News item which appeared today. It details an event unfolding in Mexico. The headlines read ‘Accused Cannibal Refuses to Enter Plea’ and the article reads, “An aspiring writer who left a horror scene of body parts in his apartment was arraigned on Thursday on charges of murder and desecrating a corpse after he allegedly cut up and ate part of his girlfriend's body.” The “city coroner Rodolfo Rojo has described how Calva carefully separated and de-boned Galeana's arm, sliced away the skin and fat, fried the flesh and seasoned it with lime juice.” ... On that note; in my blog on September 26th I wrote that “there are jokes that fly privately between men of those foolish enough amongst us who try to talk openly to woman about sex and who then find themselves with their arm down the throat of a lion.” ... Well guess what? ... It’s nice to finally see a man turning the tables on a woman and chewing on her arm for change! So the next time a women sends me an email calling me names simply because I might have offended them in regards to my ‘bigoted male' views on relationships my new reply will simply be - ‘Will somebody pass me the lime juice, please.’Thursday October 25th 2007 – 1:10pm I received an email from a student discussing the nature of ‘evil’ in early Christianity. I replied: “As simple as the characteristics of both Spirit and Soul might sound some of the earliest Christian debates regarding this subject centered around the nature of evil and its effect on both. It was argued; if the Divine Spirit was perfect and our Soul merely part of that quality which consciously experiences the world, then why are there evil men? Wouldn’t everyone’s conscious Self, the mercurial essence often referred to as the pricipium individuationis, be as flawless as their Spirit? It was a logical question and early Christians resolved it by viewing the human body, as well as our individuality, in contempt and as the source of all spiritual evil. It was believed that the Divine Spirit, which under normal circumstances would unfold itself in perfection, could easily be robbed of its spiritual freedom by purposeful outside interference. This inevitable lead to the belief that a person could ‘lose their Soul’ by their actions here on Earth if they were not careful. In this light mankind was seen as a natural bridge between the above and the below; having the ability to determine whether or not we embrace God or seek the ways of Earthly pleasures. It became the Church’s duty to assist us in ‘defining’ what it believed were the outside interferences while helping mankind make the right choices. What the Church failed to understand was that it was one of the biggest “outside interferences.” To make matters worse, the Church deplored the concept of obtaining personal certainty directly from God. It preached that all forms of spiritual ‘Knowledge and Conversations’, unless approved by the Church itself, did not come from God but through demons and therefore the utterances were false. It predictable attacked every form of ancient belief which stated that God had given each and every one of us an invisible guardian spirit to assist us in making correct decisions in regards to good and evil. The Church twisted the true nature of this guardian spirit into the personification of evil that was out to entrap and destroy humanity. They corrupted the Greek term for this entity, which was daimon, into a word now called ‘demon.’ In Christianity these demons were said to be under the rule of an archfiend known as Satan but in the Old Testament the Hebrews did not imply that this was an actual entity. Satan was merely a word meaning ‘adversary.’ It meant someone, or even a place, which opposed the teachings of God’s chosen. Many people tend to ignore the fact that Christianity is a religion built on reinterpreting other people’s faiths including its own in order to control the masses.”
Wednesday October 24th 2007 – 11:35am I meant to mention yesterday that I went to my Post Office Box and discovered a package with a signed copy of Max Wolf Valerio’s latest book: ‘THE TESTOSTERONE FILES, My Hormonal and Social Transformation from Female to Male.’ He signed it “To Jerry and friends of Grady, Enjoy!” Anyway, he’s also a friend of Luna. About the book; it’s “a gripping and poetic account of life before, during, and after injecting testosterone. His observations about a lesbian transitioning to a heterosexual male highlights the physical and emotional differences between women and men, and challenges and confirms readers' assumptions about gender.” I know some of my readers may be wondering why I’m mentioning this book or how it might be of interest to this blog but it has been a fascinating read so far. At every turn it reminds me of the first step required of all magicians, or to Know Thyself. And in that process you slowly entered upon a path of self discovery of who you ‘really’ are and what role you’ve chosen for your incarnation. Valerio’s journey is brilliantly laid out and, whether he realizes it our not, it mimics so much of the autobiographical study of Self required in many magickal schools wherein a person seeks their True Will.
10:00am Mary writes, “Thanks for the info on the HGA. It’s appreciated. When did you first communicate with your Angel? Care to share any stories?” ..... Good questions. I can trace it back to the winter of 1963 when I was just twelve years old. Let me quote from my autobiography: “I consider this event to be the single most important moment in my childhood and one which would shape the course of my fate. I was in the third grade; sitting in a chair, three seats from the front, listening to the teacher when all of sudden I heard nothing. It was as if my ears totally stopped working. There was silence to the point of it frightening me. I quickly looked down at the desktop and I stuck my fingers in both of my ears in hopes to clear them but as I looked back up toward the teacher, I still heard nothing. That’s when I saw it; a brilliant white ball of light about the size of a basketball. It was slowly floating toward me. I stood up, screamed and passed out. It all happened within the span of seconds. When I came to I found myself lying on the floor. My teacher was beside me and a school nurse was putting a cold towel to my forehead. The rest of the kids in my classroom were all sitting quietly; just watching the spectacle. My mother came immediately to pick me up and although she, the school nurses and later the doctor all asked what happened, I never told them what I saw. I instinctively felt, if others hadn’t said anything, then obviously I was the only one who had seen the ball of light. Admittedly, I was too young to understand why or what it was and in fact I was very scared, so I kept quiet. Later my family doctor, finding nothing physically wrong with me, told my mother that my fainting was simply a ‘childhood thing’ that happens to some kids. What was peculiar about the incident was that over the next few months I started hearing voices. At first they appeared only as faint whispers but with time they became so annoying that often I’d turn to see who was talking behind my back. I have no clear-cut memory of anything meaningful ever being said and since this chattering subsided over time, I put it out of my mind. I don’t remember exactly when they returned, six or seven months later I would guess but what was unique now was that I heard only one single voice. Anyone who has ever experienced such an internal voice will attest that the distinction in tone between mere internal thoughts and this voice is quite remarkable. Still, I was young. At first I tried to simply brushed the voice off and ignore it but over the next year I began to be aware that when I was thinking about doing something ‘wicked or maliciously childish’ the voice would tell me a distinct ‘no.’ By the time I reached High School I had so embraced the notion of this voice that I knew if I ignored its advice bad things would happened to me. If I followed the voice’s advice the universe seemingly handed me life on a golden platter. Whatever the origin of the voice might have been, I knew since an early age that it guided me toward finding my way in the world. With that in mind I felt compelled to spend the better part of my life studying books on the subject of inner voices in order to gain some insight into what I had been experiencing since childhood. Inevitably my research taught me that I was not so unique; many people have been listening to their inner voice most of their lives. Some refer to it as their conscience, their sense of right or wrong, a form of internal ethics or simply scruples. What I discovered however is that few people every questioned whether or not the internal chattering is something ‘external’ to themselves who is offering guidance.” 7:20am Reviewing my diaries I can across this entry about ‘relationships and arguments’ dated October 24th 20000 – “If Men are from Mars, women are from Venus can we not equate any given 'argument' to reflect Hadit & Nuit? Men, being the manifested principal Hadit, are the infinitesimal point, the dot within the circle, continually fighting to focus on one thought. Women, on the other hand, being Nuit, immediately bring in the sum total of their Universe into the argument and unload onto the 'point.' Who is wrong, who is right? Actually, neither. Both are wrong for the other at times and right for themselves & etc. It's simply amazing that any relationship works. I'm beginning to see it all as part of the Divine Comedy.” ... Ah, yes, such is life in the Universe. Time has taught me that I shouldn't expect a woman to stick to the 'point' anymore than she can expect me to understand the sum total of her Universe in a fifteen minute argument. ... I sent the above diary entry to Aisha last night to ask her opinion. This morning I received an email which started off saying: "Are you saying woman can't focus on one thing?" ... The rest of her email which was trying to prove her point that I was wrong and that women can stick to one single issue is way, way too long to print in this blog, having numerous twists and turns. But, knowing Aisha, I'm not sure she's disagreeing with me or is simply playing with me. :)- Tuesday October 23rd 2007 – 1:40pm Luis Alvarado sent me a brief email today writing: “Too funny. TheLOmites. How’d your doctor visit go?”
I replied, “They gave me three months. :/” Obviously panicking he quickly wrote back, “What? They want you to have surgery as soon as possible (is my interpretation of the situation….).” I replied back, “NO. They gave me three more months until my next clinic visit!” OK, admittedly, I’m ashamed of myself but I firmly believe that every now and then you have to shake a Taurus up! And so Luis, upon receiving my email and most likely cursing under his breath, replied back: “Jesus, Mary and Jospeph, scared the shit out of me! I’d call you but I’m in the office with ‘ears.’” Greatly amused as only a Cancer can be, I wrote back: “LOL!!! Here is what I’m posting on my blog: “Hey everyone, I had my big doctor’s appointment today to see how my old ticker was coming along. It’s been almost one year since my heart attack. My friend Dave picked me up and drove me to the West Berkeley Family Practice clinic here in Berkeley. My visit went well; everything seems OK or stable. My heart is still ‘ticking’ However, my doctor didn’t like the three small attacks I’ve had in recent months where Nitroglycerin was required and he’s very concerned about my left arm still having no strength and my left hand crippled up and not being able to close. He ‘did’ like the fact that I no longer needed the cane. All in all, he wanted to schedule more heart tests at Highland Hospital. I declined; without medical insurance or even approval of Medical, I have no way of paying and I’m already indebt up my yin-yang. Anyway, I have more tests at the clinic coming up in three months and I’ll keep everyone posted as to how I’m doing but fret not; I think I’m going to be around awhile!” 7:15am Question: How many TheLOmites does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ..... Answer: One. It’s a mundane task and they can handle it. 7:05am Maria writes, “I read yesterday’s blog about TheLOmites. Great! I will use this term from now on to distinguish them from TheLAmites. It helps me understand your ‘horizontal-vertical’ rants, which confuse me at times.” ..... Answer: It’s actually quite simple. Consider this commonplace example: the TheLOmites is someone who keeps his feet firmly planted on the ground while the TheLAmites are those who want to travel to the Moon and beyond! Now think of that analogy also in reference to The Tree of Life. My friend Mark once wrote me this example, which I enjoyed. He said, “So a horizontal person is someone who never gets out of bed and the vertical person is someone who gets up to face the Sun?” Ah, yes!
Monday October 22nd 2007 – 2:20pm Ken writes: "Thelamite - LA - Lamed 30 and Aleph 1 = 31 or GOD ...... Thelomite - LO - Lamed 30 and Ayin 70 = 100 the number value of 'The Unfit'."
1:40pm John writes, "Let me get this straight, the Thelo-mite is a Mite whose habitat is within the OTO? If that is true and I quit the OTO, what kind of Mite do I become?" ..... Answer: A smart Mite! 10:22am " ... she Mite be onto something?" - Mike.10:00am – “Jer 93! Love the term Thelomites! Did you know there are over 4500 types of Mites and that they are among the most diverse and successful of all the invertebrate groups which have exploited an incredible array of habitats from food, rugs, to people and plants? Although all types of Mites are hard to kill if we can determine where the particular Thelomites inhabit we can, according to most website and I quote, “aggressively treat the environment.” Much love. 93s Aisha.” .... Answer: I guess a bug bomb won’t work?9:20am Mike writes, “I would have thought that you'd consider the OTO not teaching magick any more as one of your main reasons?” ..... Answer: Not really, I still taught magick regardless of what Grand Lodge decided upon doing ... again, it was the lack of training initiates to think and act Thelemically that truly got me, Phyllis and others disgusted. That is why I often call the OTO 'closet Christians' because it doesn't take a brain surgeon to figure out which behavior rules the Order.9:00am I once had an OTO Initiate call me, never once using Thelemic greetings but screamed angrily into the phone, “I just read your email. Be outside your house in ten minutes.” I immediately said, “What? Look, I don’t take threats.” He screamed back, “Be outside” and then he hung up in my face. Well, I don’t take threats so I went downstairs to wait. He’s a middle degree and he came storming up to my front steps where I was sitting, almost out-of-control, screaming like a banshee, pointing his finger in my face and yelling at me in no uncertain terms that what I sent to him in an email was a blatant lie. He was a single Iota from losing control. After he finally calmed down and I was able to explain myself, he understood where I’m coming from and agreed that if the shoe was on the other foot he’d believe the same way. All in all, it was a big misunderstanding on both our parts. Still, this is not what I wanted my readers to focus upon. I guess Mary, who wrote me privately on Sunday, sums up my reasoning for mentioning the above far better. She wanted to know what was the single most thing that got me totally disgusted with OTO where I simply didn’t care any longer if I remained in or out. It was a good question. Well, after much deliberation and five hundred reasons, I thought about this one episode as an example and I guess I just didn’t want to hang around with Thelomites any more. ... now please do not write me emails telling me that I spelt this word wrong. Granted, a Thelemite, based on the Greek word θέλημα or Thelema, is a person who pursues their True Will. ... Now, on this date, officially for all time, I hereby proclaim its opposite – the Thelomite! This is word based on Θέλω which is Greek for ‘Want.’ ... I guess what I am trying to say is that the hypocrisy of the OTO finally got to me. The example that I used above refers to a person who sits on an official OTO Council in judgment of other people’s actions in the Order. Phyllis Seckler and I often discussed this problem; how we saw many ‘management level’ OTO people over the years act not in accordance with The Book of The Law, or in a Thelemic manner but in ways in which they’d suspend or expel other members if they got caught doing the same thing. Thelema in the OTO is where the higher up you go in the degrees you can scream, “Do as I say, not as I do or act” and years ago, that is what finally pushed me over the edge. Definition: Thelomite: a person who disregards the Will of others and acts out of personal beliefs or wants on the 'horizontal plane' in contrastto the Thelemite who acts 'vertically' and who respectsother people's Thelemic Rights.[I apologize if I offend anyone in the OTO but within AA circles AleisterCrowley informs us that we learn best by 'examples.']8:00am I’d like to share something from one of our student’s diaries, an entry of May 25th 2007 - “ ... in a nutshell Resh is all about communing with your Angel – Dah? You are connected to the Solar Elemental tides which is exactly how your Angel manifests through the Solar Tides. Liber 65 breaks down these tides.” ..... Answer: Very good. I might remind the readers of my blog to review my October 15th 7:30am entry where I elaborated on this very same principle. Crowley didn’t call Liber RESH vel Helios one of the most important rituals without reason ... besides, how many other rituals are directly connected to Liber AL vel Legis? III: 38 So that thy light is in me; & its red flame is as a sword in myhand to push thy order. There is a secret door that I shall make to establish thy way in all the quarters, (these are the adorations, as thouhast written), as it is said:The light is mine; its rays consumeMe: I have made a secret doorInto the House of Ra and Tum,Of Khephra and of Ahathoor.I am thy Theban, O Mentu,The prophet Ankh-af-na-khonsu!By Bes-na-Maut my breast I beat;By wise Ta-Nech I weave my spell.Show thy star-splendour, O Nuit!Bid me within thine House to dwell,O wing`ed snake of light, Hadit!Abide with me, Ra-Hoor-Khuit!Sunday October 21st 2007 – 7:05pm Jerri of Scramento asks, “If the Daimon is the vehicle to our Angel, and there is in fact no Christian ‘evil,’ What is the nature of the Qlippoth and how does it relate to us and our Daimon/Angel-and, in fact, our Universe?” .... Answer: What you ask could take volumes to properly answer but first, the daimon is an independent entity which assists our consciousness (Soul) upward into Tiphereth; it is not by definition a ‘vehicle’ of our Angel. They are two separate entities. The Qliphoth is often a difficult thing to understand because of all the modern rhetoric lumped onto it by every imaginable idiot out there who thinks themselves authorities. In truth, the ancient Qabalah informs us that if a sphere on the Tree of Life has a positive or manifested quality in Light then it must also have a negative or dark invisible world to balance it -for every coin has two sides below the Abyss; in other words, the front side of the Tree is known a ‘Sephiroth’ while the backside is known as a ‘Qliphoth.’ The problem with properly understanding the backside is rooted in Christian Qabalistic writings which dominates modern Qabalah in that it sees a ‘negative’ only as an evil. Admittedly, if you knew that a certain area on this plane has a bunch of man-eating lions you’d avoid it because it’s dangerous but would you call such evil? Of course not. Qabalists know that ‘both’ the backside and front side are dangerous but on a microcosmic level, regardless whether our Soul picked a good or bad incarnation, we must learn to effectively maneuver the Tree of Life in order to fulfill our True Will and in doing so we must learn to ‘control’ both positive and negative energies or we’ll forever be a pawn to either/or. People who tell me that only the front of the Tree or the ‘Light’ is Good obviously have starred at the Sun too long. Anyway, the higher up the Tree one ascends the more likely you’ll understand that a ‘negative’ aspect is not necessarily a bad thing; it’s a point of view in relationship to what one is attempting to achieve. However, and arguably, the only real dangerous ‘Qliphoth’ or most destructive is that found on the reverse of Malkuth (Earth) because Malkuth is the natural realm of our Demon. ... Still, many modern Qabalists are quick to classify the Qliphoth simply as being ‘Negative Shells’ or unwanted qualities of self: as anger, cruelty and all other forms of destructive behavior. They’ll argue that the most dangerous effect that these negative microcosmic qualities have upon us is seen in how they slowly convinced our ego that this plane and “Do what thou Want,” is far more important than anything the Spirit can offer or provide with “Do what thou wilt.” Oddly, they are ‘partially’ correct. Remember, the Demon depends upon the magician’s own chattering ego to keep him upon the Earth and sadly most people gleefully lend a hand with their own downfall. However, a strong willed person can easily “control” these negative qualities of Self as they manifest on Malkuth, meaning through us, in our actions and thoughts but all this bantering does not really answer the old question, “What is a Shell?” ... Crowley believed, or wrote in Magick Without Tears, that within the Akasha or astral waters floats “comparatively worthless odds and ends, true Qliphoth or ‘Shells of the Dead’.” In my book Aleister Crowley and the Ouija Board I go in-depth into the nature of the ‘Shells.’ Consider this quote from my book – “It is said that everything that has ever been thought or done, every single event no matter how trivial, is a form of energy that is eternally recorded in time within a given Shell. This Shell resides in the astral waters around our Earth. In other words, the Shell is merely a ‘concept’ that encases a certain type of energy (Knowledge). To understand the concept of the Shell better, consider it like a record being played on a phonograph. The person who has done the recording has gone on to do other things, as in the case of a spirit incarnating, but do they forget everything about the experience of the recording session? Of course not. Yet his record, or Shell, can be played over and over again. Like a phonograph record, this realm is two sided, containing the good and evil of all things.” ... You also asked, “I understand the Hebrew word Qlippoth to mean ‘shells,’ ‘peels,’ or ‘MATTER.’ Would the Qlippoth be considered similar to the idea of Hindu Maya?” ..... No. The Qliphoth and Maya are two distinct things. Crowley highly recommends all his students read Vivekamanda’s Jnana Yoga on this matter of Maya and I agree. It details beautifully what Maya is. In some ways Maya is like the Kundry in that it keeps us from ascending while in others ways that concept is too shallow because it can easily be confused as being an ‘evil’ rather than simply that which binds us onto Earth.
6:45pm In reply to an email I wrote, “Ah, good and evil. ? Yes, they are not separate entities but two poles of a swinging pendulum on the horizontal plane. One cannot exist without the other. What people fail to realize is that to seek to increase good will only increase evil, to stop evil is to stop good and what is seen as good today in bringing happiness may be seen as evil and the bringer of misery tomorrow; fire can cook your meal or burn you badly. Get the picture? The inevitably truth behind the daimon is that it is both our Angel and our Demon “clothed in the image of our desire.” We see it as we ‘want’ to see it. ... Yes, the Daimon ascends upward out of Malkuth into the lower aspect of Tiphereth and the Angel descends out of Kether into the higher aspect of Tiphereth ... in issue No.4 (of Cornelia) we detail what the ‘Higher Self’ in Qabalah actually is in regards to it being a ‘bridge’ between the two. Thursday October 18th 2007 – In ending today I want to thank everyone for all the great emails that you have sent and if I haven't posted yours on my blog I'm sorry but today's entry is getting kinda long. Love to ya ALL! & 93s
1:23am and finally from Tony Iannotti this gem – “93! In 1986 (on our way East with the archives) we buried a tuft of Grady's beard at a cross-roads in Big Cabin, OK. You - can - go home again. 93, 93/93!” ..... Your words brought a smile with this email. Thanks! 10:26pm and our dear friend Mick Roche writes, “Hey Jerry 93! HAPPY Gradymas! Took out Grady's poems this morning and again tonight. Cup of wine in hand. Now's the time to celebrate Grady's legacy. And thanks Jerry for introducing me to his work. ~In groves at night your Golden Cup By Brother Nemo lifted up~ ... The man was a geyser. Here's to the man. Mick 93 93/93.” ..... Answer: Ah a great quote from Grady’s poem The Magus which he wrote in April 1961. Fitting! 9:06pm and Luna sends another email - “Jerry 93! Happy Gradymas, again! While driving home from The City.....the Tech-Enochians told me how to crack da grady code of poetry. I am busy figuring out how to do this. basically it is done by enlarging one of the poems....and then, with the use of a layout ruler ...seeing what letters I can pull out of a poem, and tracing them onto a paper.... ...and then just intuiting a new drawing from the overall poem ....the tech-enochians say that this is a fresher way to learn from Mr. GraYdy's work! ...plus, Jerri has the "Grady Channel" tied up right now. ....trial run drawing using this method may be ready to photograph and send later! YOU TAKE CARE! 93 93/93.”9:00pm and from Sacramento Bryan Olson writes, “Everyone, I'll have some hard cider....Happy Gradymas! 93 93/93” 7:40pm and Matt Marcus writes, “I had lobster with my drinks ;) Happy Gradymas to you all. 93s.”6:40pm My dear friend Nicholas Guliaeff writes, “93 Jerry! I am celebrating Gradymass with you today. With you, with AL. Blessed BEAST 93 93/93 – NikolaiTAN.”6:02pm from New Mexico, Rey DeLupos writes – “I too have slain a nice Chardonnay in honor of our Beloved Frater.”5:29pm and Richard Kaczynski sends a second email, “93, And I already have. In fact, I'm sitting at the computer with what's left of the wine that I toasted with. Bon nuit, everyone! 93 93/93 Richard.”5:26pm and from Illinois Carl writes, “Happy Gradymas to you as well! I will most certainly be raising a glass in appreciation this evening.”4:51pm and the noted Crowley author Keith Richmond writes, “Jerry, 93 And a happy Gradymass to you, too. 93 93/93 Keith.”3:20pm Terry writes, “Yo! To Grady! I will smoke in his honor!”3:01pm Jerri writes, “93 Jerry! Cheers, in honor of Grady! Tell Luna to look out ... I've got more in common with Grady than she knows ... I too have NO EARTH in my chart. Shit. Don't loan me money ... But seriously, DON'T loan me money ... (I'm not ENTIRELY serious...I think my lack of earth translates more into physical health issues, actually...).” 2:54pm Re; enjoying Gradymas: Tony Iannotti writes, “93, I absolutely will, and one for you as well, thanks for reminding me!” 1:15pm Dave from Florida writes in regards to lifting a glass of wine or beer tonight in Grady’s honor ... “Consider it done. An Ode to Grady. Sounds like a nice piece of writing that needs written ;).”1:00pm Here is a poem by Grady ... enjoy: ALIEN STAR Deeper by far Than any Star Deeper than the Unknown Night The spaceworm spins its prison bar Its casement tower, height on height "Shell by the Abyssal Crustacea" Alien Star Alien Light Shine upon our Alien Fright Alien Sun Alien Star Shine upon our Prison Bar The nematodes In their abodes Renew the categories The scaly reptile in the roads Seeks on Her Lunar glories "Shell by the Abyssal Crustacea" Alien Star Alien Light Shine upon our Alien Fright Alien Sun Alien Star Shine upon our Prison Bar 8-21-6112:43pm Rey Delupos from New Mexico writes, “GRADYMAS, I spent sometime this morning with a nice big cup of Joe and flipped through Red Flame No. 1 -- reading his poetics and thinking about his biography. What an intensively profound Path he was given and to see all the repercussions of his action flooding into the present definitely gave me pause. It was at the moment that my eye spotted 'The Soul's Code' by James Hillman in my bookshelf. What an amazing work! I pulled it from the shelf and will make it my lunch time re-read. :) Needless to say, I sending my loving thoughts for your health, happiness and peace of mind, Jerry.” ..... Reply: Bless ya! 12:35pm Robert Flores writes, “93 Jerry! Grady Mass!! We should be celebrating this together! Still I will get together with Jerri and Andy and we will all drink wine and talk about Grady and all he did for us.” 12:34pm Regarding Gradymas, the noted author Gregory von Seewald from Connecticut writes, “93. Cheers! 93 93/93.” 11:25am Mike writes, "Wow! Gradymas! Hadn’t thought about it. If my math is right, he’d be 89 today! I’ll read one of his poems at supper; any suggestions? ..... Answer: I might suggest ‘Identification.’ 10:40am From Leigh and Luna - “and to LIFE ... and to after LIFE...Happy Gradymas!”9:58am and from the noted Crowley biographer Richard Kaczynski, “"Gradymas," I like it! I'll be sure to toast him with a glass of wine at dinner tonight.”8:05am Mary writes, “All differences aside ... HAPPY GRADYMAS!”Most important about today is the fact that it's HAPPY GRADYMAS!!! On this date, October 18th in 1918, Grady Louis McMurtry, aka Frater Hymenaeus Alpha 777 X, was born in Big Cabin, Oklahoma, which is a little town located in the northeast corner of the state about fifty miles outside of Tulsa. He was a close friend of Jack Parsons, who introduced Grady to the writings of Aleister Crowley. He, along with his wife Claire ‘Tommie’ Halleck Palmer took Minerval and First Degree Initiation into Aleister Crowley’s Ordo Templi Orientis at Agape Lodge on June 13th 1941. He later claimed that both he and Claire “took to it [the O.T.O.] like ducks to water” and that “we were instinctively at home.” Grady served in World War II. While stationed in England prior to D-Day he met Aleister Crowley who not only made him a IX initiate but also gave to him his magickal motto: ‘Hymenaeus Alpha.’ In August of 1944 Aleister Crowley sent Grady the first of the infamous Caliphate letters. Crowley felt that if he was the prophet of the New Aeon, of Thelema, as Mohammed was to Islam, then the title ‘Caliph’ fits quite nicely to designate the spiritual aspect of descent while the position of OHO represented the material. Whether or not these two positions could be held by one person was something which Crowley had yet to theoretically work out but he honestly believed that they could. Years later Grady McMurtry would fulfill both the Caliphate and become the beloved Outer Head of Aleister Crowley’s O.T.O. and establish Thelema ‘Grand’ Lodge in October of 1977 in Berkeley, California. He died on July 12, 1985 in California after a long illness. He was lying in his hospital bed at Brookside Hospital in San Pablo, discussing forms of meditation with a friend when he softly said, “I think my path is more the Sufi Path.” When questioned what he meant, he simply looked up and said, “I don’t know.” He then closed his eyes and quietly passed away. Grady once wrote that; “The moment of ultimate self-embarrassment is when you die. That is when you wake up.” In other words, you get to review your whole incarnation for all its good and bad, shake your head and then prepare for the next. On July 15th, his body was prepared at the Apollo Crematory in Emeryville, California. He was dressed as Saladin, in a turban with his favorite red robe. A bouquet of roses was placed in his arms shortly before he was cremated. Grady’s ashes remained in the possession of the O.T.O. for almost a year. Then, on July 12th 1986, a large group of individuals boarded a boat rented at Fisherman’s Wharf in San Francisco. About three miles past the Golden Gate Bridge, with help of the Neptune Society, his ashes were spread out across the Pacific Ocean. It was written, “From the fire of cremation to the waters of the great sea, by formula and verse did we rejoice him on his way.” A single rose was then tossed into the water, cut from the same bush as the bouquet that had been placed in his hands when he was cremated. As his ashes slowly vanished beneath the waters, one of Grady’s poem was read to send him off on his last voyage - The Redeemer That is in the Waters.Wednesday October 17th 2007 - 9:00am Regarding the entry on my blog of October 11th 6:45am; my student replied, “Perhaps my choice of methods needs upgrading...ok, I am willing to entertain that notion. What do you think the hot stove is, though? I suspect you would say women? ... Looking back, as I said before, it seems I function better when I've got a relationship to encourage reflection and growth. It seems a natural environment for those things, for me.” .... Answer: Well I could say women, after all I was married! Anyway, I always enjoy a good chuckle, on the one hand you say “Perhaps my choice of methods needs upgrading” then mentioning that you think the use of the word ‘stove’ is a metaphor for ‘women’ while adding “it does not seem to me that women are my problem.” Ah, flopping like an Aquarius whose jug is out of Water. Anyway, the stove is a metaphor for ANYTHING that we fail to learn from while repeating the same errors over and over. Since no two people are alike the stove represents something different for each of us which ‘burns our fingers.’ Personally, I find women fantastic little cuddly creatures and I agree with you because I too seemingly “function better when I've got a relationship to encourage reflection and growth.” So please, ‘women’ are not necessarily the root of evil! The problem lies in the simple fact that once a magician decides to move vertically up The Tree of Life he or she is constantly torn between the pull of their Angel and Demon. One wants to you to place no importance over any one thing on this plane than another in order to ascend while the other tries to make to think ‘something’ [whatever that may be] is of vast importance on this plane over your True Will.
8:00am Mike asks, "Care to elaborate on yesterday's 8:25 entry? Who pissed you off in the local OTO and why all the 'secretiveness' with not letting your readers in on the details?" ..... Answer: Good question. My blog sometimes contains entries 'directed' to certain people and no one else. If I told you 'who' the trash was it would only ignite the garbage on fire!Tuesday October 16th 2007 - 11:00am I received this question regarding Liber RESH vel Helios. ... “In addition I have one practical question. I read your Epistle on Liber Resh Vel Helios. Thank you. This was very informative. My question is simply. if I look at sunrise and sun set from a site such as weather.com should I be doing the noon and midnight adorations at the half way point between these too times?” ..... Answer: Yes but don’t be so critical of starting times. The key is seen by the fact that each tide must contain within itself all other tides in varying degrees of power in order to function properly. No matter when you do, as an example the Salutation of Ahathoor, the ‘fire tide’ will always be descending out of the Sun. Sometime stronger than others but none-the-less it ‘never’ goes away. Another important point to realize is regarding what I wrote in yesterday’s blog or how for the magician Liber Resh inevitably works with ‘internal’ solar currents. On that note: Every man and every woman is a star. (AL I:3) .... what time do you get up? Oh Sun-riser! But don’t make me have to plot the course of your daily activity to spell out an appropriate time to do Resh. Remember, the first law – Know Thyself.
8:25am I apologize to ...... [local OTO] for calling you trash but if you don’t like being called trash, don’t walk in the garbage! CLICK HERE TO GO DIRECTLY
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