~ JULY 15th-26th, 2007 ~

(the latest entries are always added to the top)

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. - AL I:40

Thursday July 26, 2007 -6:35pm Tom Danheiser, the Associate Producer of Coast To Coast AM with George Noory responded to my comment about enjoying my interview regarding Aleister Crowley & the Ouija Board wherein I wrote, “Thanks for inviting me on the show last night. I enjoyed myself; George is always a fascinating man to chat with.” He replied, “I will say that the work in finding you was definately worth the payoff to the audience. Great job!”

4:45pm Aisha writes, “If you’re now going to go after cannibals maybe you’ll stop throwing jabs at us sweat innocent women in your blog?” ... To which I replied, “Why would I go after cannibals, how do you know that I'm not one? You know I love to eat ...... oh, that pun is too easy. I’m so ashamed of myself.

4:15 Received an email from Plissken 1 of five words, "You Are Full Of Shit." Of course, he neither gives his real name nor does he tell me what his feeble little adolescent mind objects to but if you click on his email you'll go to his blog and find out that his interests are 'cannibalism.' ... Have I now offended cannibals? 

3:20pm My friend Robert sent this email. "I heard and enjoyed the show! and it looks like your site got several hundred hits in the last 24hrs or so! Good stuff! I also enjoyed the insane Christian comments on the blog. The whole standing in your blood thing ... way over the top! What is it with these right wing Christians do they have any clue of Jesus teachings? A part of me feels sorry for them and apart of me fears them. I just don't want them anywhere near my kids! or in any position of authority; as they can't wait for Armageddon? Maybe there is a way we could arrange some sort of special Armageddon just for these Christians so the rest of us can go on fornicating and smoking etc.. without them constantly annoying us and projecting there fears and guilt upon us all. I used to just not care, i would just ignore them, to each there own and all but now I feel like no fuck that these Loons are affecting national policy and our entire society with there fear and narrow mindedness! Enough is enough! See you on Saturday and will still comment some on your last email the moment I get a chance."

11:30 Mr Millard replied briefly to my last email. [note today's entry of 10:30am] He writes, “Credabilty Sshmedability...Thank you for writing. You are invited t contribute a spell check programme t my company if you should like.” ... I replied nicely, “Yes, I know we all make mistakes, it's only human. I'd recommend writing out your thoughts in a Word Perfect file, most computers have this program and it has a spelt check and then copying the letter into an email. Anyway, I won't go into all the numerous argumentative if not outright wrong comments that you made previously because I strongly believe every one is entitled to their opinion even if I think they are idiotic or narrow minded. You do have a tendency to forget that science itself is rooted in the pseudo-science of the past. I’m a firm believer, like Aleister Crowley himself, that the spiritualist and occult movement is filled with frauds and charlatans. All Crowleyites live by the creed, and I quote: “The method of Science, the Aim of Religion.” Still, until you reach the point where you realize that there is a vast unexplored invisible frontier then the world will, to pardon the pun, remain ‘flat.’  And I accept your right to believe as you will.”

10:30am I received a rather amusing copy of an email from a Mr. Millard of something that he sent to George Norry under the subject: "COMMENTARY as related to George's Noory's Oijha Board non-experiemt what he could ot do." It seems Mr Millard runs THE UNIVERSITY OF THE ABSOLUTE, 112 North Mills Street, Madison, Wisconsin  53715. ... And he writes, "ATTENTION:  Mr. George Noory : One has the need of bing able to distinguish between "that" what is of one's own mind versus "that" what is phenomenally and or physically external to the mind.  One has the need of bing able to distinguish between "that" what is of one's own body versus what is phenomenally and or physically external to the phenomenal and physical body.  These abilities of the distinguishing are thoe distinguishments and determinations what are the phenomenal an dor physical realities of real science and technology and the in-abilities to distinguish and determine between of the any of these is that characteristique had of PSEUDO-SCIENCE when real science concerns itself with "that" what is, under conditions, "testable" repetitionally and repeatedly with the same results. / I can tell when listening to your callers, the all of you are deluded.  You are deluded when you think there is an after life and spirits and all of this very ignorant stuff what you assume delusively to be true.  When one is dead, than one is dead and there is not more. / If you would have went forward with the alleged "experiment"; one does not want to do what you do not know how to do, one does not want to prove what one does not know how to prove, and in this way I am of the opinion that Goldberg is partially correct of the support to your decision, but he is not, at all, correct of his un-provable assertions, but stop being a deluded fool. / It is not, at all, provable that "spirits", "goblins" and "ghost" are real, there is no known scientifique and or technological way to, objectively,conclusively and accurately, prove of the any of this stuff!  This is whatyou need to know and explain to your listening audience, and that the"notions" of some such things are only "opinions" had of others of which are predicated in persons, alleged, witness, testimony or personal ideas or notions, and the none of these testimonies of an, alleged, "existence" of some such "things" are provable of the use of the experimental methods necessary to use so to conclusively and objectively prove, and it is necessary that some such objective experiments need to be performed under testable, demonstrable and under provable conditions of the repetitions of their performances so to b enabled to conclusively prove, and in this way, clearly than, such things of your guest's and caller's assertions are mental constructions (constructions) only, and they do not have any phenomenal and or physical existence (voracity) in actual fact as some phenomenal and or physical realities existing in an external world, but they exist only in and of the minds of their concoctors when you have not performed any experiments or proposed any experimental evidence to prove other-wise. / But your attempts as presented on your radio show are those radio presentations what really are about attempts at the presentation of the pseudo-scienctifique what you have succeeded at so well on your radio show to constrain of the additional amounts of the confusion had of the members of your listening audience who continue to listen to your radio-panarama of pseudo-science what you purport should be beleived as realscience by your listening audience.  So then the voracity of your failures of your non-attempts at the performance of your Oija Board experiments what you have failed at to adequately perform, and you have failed in "that" what, originally, you sought to do. / You have failed to perform your great Oija Board experiments what, in reality, demonstrational of a provable results what, in fact, you could have performed and demonstrated scientifically if it would have been that you were a legitimate person interested in the performance of real experiments what you could have designed and performed to prove or disprove of some such related elements of an existence or non-existance had you sought out real and expert help to so prove or disprove, but you engaged charlatans to aid you of your pseudo-scientifique efforts necessary to perform, and you have failed because of your lack of know-how and becasue of your real lack of the knowledge fo the related subject matter, and that your failure to demonstrate and or to differentiate between of "that" of pseudo or imagined knowledge as differentiated from "that" what is real knowledge what you do not have, of these reasons than you have failed, and that your understanding of thee matters also has failed because your failure to have performed of your, alleged, "demonstration of the effects of the Oija board what is nothing more then PRESSED WOOD what you could not, experimentally, apply becasue of your lack of know-how and because of your lack knowledge. / Your entertainment's of spirits and ghosts and the all of this stuff is very dull, and your entertainment's are proving of your being a dullard when the spirit world is about stupidity as is Goldberg's notions abut the, alleged, fifth dimensional ideas when it is not, at all, provable or disprovable about of the any of this stuff nor is is phenomenally and or physically provable ABOUT GOLDBERG'S, alleged, "fifth dimension"!. In science and technology; scientists and intelligent persons concern their work with things what they know about what, experimentally, are possible to prove and demonstrate of a convincing means, and this stuff what you talk about on your radio show is the most ignorant and the stupidest, and you need not be afraid because you are your own person and you know what is right or wrong to do, so then, henceforth, do it! Respectfully, William H. Millard wmillard@earthlink.net Post Script: Stop doing the stupid stuff! "look before you lap.", know what you are doing before you do it." ...... Yes, there are idiots born every day and no, all the spelling and grammar errors are Mr.Millard's, I changed nothing. Be that as it may, I did not want to address all his errors or the depth of his ignorance in my blog but I did send Mr Millard a brief email in which I wrote:  "Dear Mr. Millard. 93! I will post your comments on my blog; I like to give fair and balanced views for my readers but in the future I highly recommend that you use ‘spell check’ before sending off emails because it greatly limits your credibility as an academic, much less someone who can vouch for running a ‘University’?  There are dozens of childish errors in your email but, for one, I’d like to point out that it’s Ouija, not oija.  If you are going to criticize, get the basic facts correct. Have a nice day and yes – “look before you lap”  Lap?  93 93/93 Jerry Edward Cornelius." ... Granted, we all make errors or two, myself inculded but come on; more than a dozen warrants comment and yes, he had me 'lapping' all morning long!

10:02am Sadly, my dear friend Luis Alvarado missed my show last night on the radio but he did make this comment in his latest email, “ ... I took a moment to read the blog just now. It sounds like you impressed many people, except kookyloon, lol. I don’t know about you, but this has been a long week.”

9:45am Let me quote from today’s COAST TO COAST recap of yesterday’s show with George Noory - “During Wednesday's Ouija Board Special, an incredible guest line-up delved into the history and practice of the Ouija board, as well as helped George make an important decision regarding his experiment. Archbishop James Long appeared briefly towards the start of the program to tell George about some recent misfortunes that have befallen his family. Long believes these tragedies are the result of his 7/16/07 Coast appearance, when he spoke about demons, exorcism, and tonight's planned Ouija board experiment. First hour guest Jerry Edward Cornelius talked about his book, Aleister Crowley and The Ouija Board, which takes a positive perspective on Ouija boards. According to Cornelius, Crowley promoted the use of the board, writing papers on the subject and teaching his students how to use it. Cornelius maintains that Crowley never used the board for evil purposes. He also pointed out that whatever baggage an individual brings to the board it will fulfill. At the beginning of the second hour, George welcomed Ouija: The Most Dangerous Game author Stoker Hunt, who offered his view on the topic. The Ouija board is not a game; it is a psychic tool that can induce psychoses in those who use it, he warned. Next, joining George from a 'special room' were Bruce Goldberg, Rosemary Ellen Guiley and Jordan Maxwell, who discussed the implications of using the Ouija board. Goldberg and Guiley fully supported George's experiment (Guiley actually brought in the board to be used), as they saw it as a way to educate the public about the Ouija board and spirit communications. The two, however, did not advocate its use among non-professionals. Maxwell was vehemently against it. Goldberg invoked 'white light' protection on the proceedings. Then, George shared some personal details from a near death experience he had seven years ago. After taking many things into consideration, George decided not to go through with his Ouija board experiment. In the last hour, callers reacted to George's decision.” ..... If any of my readers missed the show last night on ‘Aleister Crowley & The Ouija Board’ you can go to their website and download it from their archieve : http://www.coasttocoastam.com/shows/2007/07/25.html#recap

7:25am I just received this email from a dear friend in New Mexico. He writes, “Greetings Jerry, Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. Kudos on the excellent interview. It would seem that you are a heretic and A Lucifer Loving Mad Man. But didn't we already know that.  [grin and chuckle] I really got a big kick out of kookyloon@msn.com's post to you - a very entertaining bible thumper! I sincerely doubt that many christians would touch you with a ten foot cross, Jer. You definitely push buttons and cause many of the righteous to go, hmm... [i.e., to think for themselves] Needless to say, I am very proud of your contribution to Thelema and the understanding of what it means to do one's Will.   That said, keep up your coyote ways and always keep them guessing -- best they figure it out for themselves. Love is the law, love under will. In the Bonds of Luciferian Gnosis, Rey."    Thanks! [big smile here]

6:45am ... & this blurb came in: “...GREAT! On Coast 2 Coast. I wish you were on for the whole show, rather than the short amount of  time you were on the air. I [am] buying you books. Thanks, Jerry Please visit: http://www.jerrylentz.com.” ... I did, it’s his blog and I might add that I found it rather enjoyable.

6:35am And ‘Kookyloon’ replied to my email [note my blog entry of 11:20pm last night] by writing, “I am Yahweh's WRATH upon the demonic forces AND the Filthy human swine that Hate Yahweh. I am awaiting my mission from the Lord. I await Armegeddon, cannot wait to watch the filthy WHORES thrown into the abyss to ROT forever. - " The righteous shall REJOICE when He seeth the VENGEANCE; he shall wash his feet in the BLOOD of the WICKED" Psalm 58:10 Stick this in your filthy pipe and smoke it, oh evil man. Depart from ye... by the way, I do NOT attend Church!!” ..... Answer: It brings tears to my eyes to be so loved. I’m not sure if this guy (or gal) is real or a leg puller? So I replied with the gently wisdom of a sage - “Obviously, there is a reason why your email address is ‘kookyloon.”

6:25am Received a nice blurb from my dear friend Carl Mullinax, “Enjoyed the interview with George, Jerry at his finest! (and happy I was that you didn't get any really crazy calls.)”

6:05am Paul from Pittsburg writes, “Great show last night. I’ve studied Crowley for years, never knew he wrote about the Ouija. Did he ever actually use the board?  I plan to hunt down your book today." ... Reply: We have no historical evidence of him ever doing such but logic naturally dictates, yes. We know his closest magickal student; Charles Stansfeld Jones did use the board. In fact, we have his correspondence between Jones and Crowley discussing this topic. Throughout 1917 Jones experimented with the board as a means of summoning invisible entities and he shared his findings with his teacher. In one letter Crowley replied, “You see how very satisfactory it is, but I believe things improve greatly with practice.” Also in 1917, Aleister Crowley published an article titled The Ouija Board-A Note  [The International,Vol.XI No.10 (October 1917, New York), p. 319] In this article he lays out the problems, requirements and even adds “a few simple instructions are all that are needed.”  I publish this article in its entirety on my website. http://cornelius93.com/OuijaBoard-ACarticle.html.

Wednesday July 25, 2007 - 11:35pm Mary writes, "Great show. I can't wait to read your book."

11:27pm "Mr Cornelius. Heard you on the radio. You're MAD but I love ya. 93 Aisha!"

11:25pm Received this email: "Jer, 93 Heard you on CTC; great job. I think most of what you said went over their heads. Still, I enjoyed it! Bravo for magicians taking a stand! 93 Mike."

11:20pm This person did not leave their name but they did leave their email address at the top of their email. It came from kookyloon@msn.com and they wrote in bright red bolded 13.5 Gothic type : "Heard you tonight on coasttocoast. How can you lie as much as you did? Aleister Crowley was a satanic, evil son of a bitch , and you LIE about him! You make him out to be a saint, how wrong you are! you also failed to mention that he was a junkie, strung out on heroin!!! You seem to hate Christians, well, that is because you are filled with demons sent into your soul by your FATHER, LUCIFER! You can NEVER fool me, because I know thy truth, which sets me FREE! Also, remember the song done by ozzie Osbourne about this 666 beast, entitled "Mr Crowley", even Ozzie knows better!! So, the fools will purchase your book, the SHEEPLES, I will NOT! Good day, and have fun with your Father, the Father of ALL Lies ,, Lucifer." ........ I sent this person a nice reply : “Thank you. I'll tell him you called. You must be a Christian, you rant like a hypocrite in heat and hate so well. So much for following your own Bible’s tenents. You need an Exorcist. I think it's you who are possessed. Much Love & 93 93/93 Jerry Edward Cornelius"

11:18pm St. John (www.inkshadows.com) writes, “... great show on coast to coast. you are well spoken and intelligent. i look forward to reading your work. i visited your site and was impressed with all the different writings pertaining to many differing subjects.  i find your writings very heartfelt as well.”

11:03pm  Anadae Q. Effro writes, “I'll be sendin' a heavily collaged business sized env. w/ some cash for a copy of your book & an issue of CORNELIA, some time within the next two weeks. Gerry, aaand thank you for being on "Coast" tonight."

TONIGHT!

This is to remind my readers know that I will be appearing on George Noory’s

‘Coast to Coast’ radio show [http://www.coasttocoastam.com/] tonight.

Wednesday July 25th at 10pm; my time here in Berkeley.

I will be talking for an hour on the Ouija board. If you want to find out

which radio station to dial to in your area you can go to: http://www.coasttocoastam.com/affiliates/aa.html

3:33pm Regarding a fallen Magister Templi I wrote: “It is noble for you to think that you will some day achieve but you forget Phyllis’ attitude, of which I agree; once fruit has fallen off a tree it never reattaches itself.”

2:45pm I wrote to one student, “... good points made but I believe one of the major stumbling blocks is a person’s lack in understanding what it means by the “lust of results.” They want to perform sex magick and have instantaneous visible results and the often short circuit the process by ‘thinking’ about it too much.  Sex magick works subtly and over a period of time slowly changing one’s etheric current as dictated by the WORD.”

12:00pm Yesterday my blog was inundated with ‘sex magick' talks, today I’ve already had to deal with over a dozen emails on the Oath of the Abyss and the Magister Templi. I cannot wait to see what tomorrow brings. - I am always amazed that students in the lower degrees think it’s cool to take the Oath of the Abyss, no one forced them to do it and often the driving factor is that they believe themselves great enough to achieve it. But I’m a harsh teacher. I do not pull punches; little Probationer occasional need a diaper change, a Zelator may need to be reminded to do their homework and I have no problem yelling at a Magister Templi in no uncertain terms of their folly. They have to get over it. After all, they took the Oath, skipped numerous degrees to be in the Inner College but it has unsympathetic responsibilities; not to me, not to the bloodline but to the Aeon. I cannot even expel them if they’re idiots; they’re too high up for expulsion. It’s out of my hands and in the hands of the Gods. If they cannot show ‘how’ they got up the Mountain and fulfilled the oath it is the Gods who’ll booted them out, not me. And they’ll fall hard to the lowest point of needed-achievement. In most case it’s Malkuth the spherefrom which they usually jumped. Hopefully they’ll come to the harsh reality that maybe, just maybe they shouldn’t have taken the oath and we can work from there to center them but most usually just don’t get it. ... The fact is; the Magister Templi degree has nothing to do about THEM! ... by swearing the Oath, they have acknowledged their responsibility at being an instrument for mankind ... but no, most always reduce the ordeal to their needs, their ambitions, their desires and their accomplishment in order for them to prove that they've crossed the Abyss to mankind! Don’t they get it? A Magister Templi doesn’t accomplish jack-shit, that is why no one can say you are, or you aren’t, only the Gods. Your achievements happen ‘before’ you take the Oath! If you haven't achieved you don't belong with the Gods! ... A true 'Magickal Thesis' proves how you became a Magister Templi and the path of self discover while walking up the Mountain; not how you can prove to others that you are a Magister Templi. Proving anything to another person is an act driven by ego and this is often why the Thesis is a task hard for some to fulfill. They have to prove they accomplished Malkuth, Yesod, Hod etc & etc and why they believe that they had the right to skip them and swear the Oath of the Abyss. ... I fear I may have to stop pulling punches and just be blunt to some of you wanna be magicians out there who do not take hints well. How are you going to prove the path you’ve walked if you’ve never walked it? Let me be honest, in many cases you’ve failed at staying above or proving you’ve crossed the Abyss. You are not a Magister Templi and you’ll never fulfill the ‘requirements of the Oath’, end of subject. Granted, I cannot change the fact that you might have taken the Oath but you forget, taking and proving it are two different things. Any idiot can recite the Oath whether in Temple or a bathroom taking a shit, it doesn’t make you a Magister Templi nor does it prove that you crossed the Abyss. Are we not told that within an immediate span of time after taking the Oath of the Abyss it takes root in the magician which is why it’s so dangerous. How about this quote – “By their actions you will know them.” ... Some of you who are still haggling after years trying to ‘accomplish the Oath’ need to face the facts; if you haven’t got it by now you never did. ‘NEVER DID’ being the imperative words to focus on. The best gift you will give to the world is your story as an example of what it means to move to fast and to high while starring at the Sun. After all, we learn by example.

Tuesday July 24th 2007 - 4:00pm One from my AA lineage writes in regards to today’s blog under the email subject of “Sex Magick va va voom!” - “Love the blog, I will need to copy [to] paste and save. I like this new you: its my ideal version of getting older - a little perversity, a lot of truth, a little wink and a nod, and then dessert (where’s that cake).” ..... I quickly replied, “Perversity? Like Crowley was a puritan? I learned from the master! Anyway, it's not really the 'new' me as much as I think the longer I extend the blog the better the questions hopefully will come. I can only respond to what's thrown at me. Anyway, I've been compiling all my 'sexual blog' entries into one folder and I plan to release a special 'gulp' issue of CORNELIA! ... I've got enough almost for a full issue!  ... Where is the cake?  It'll come later."

3:05pm Just a random thought; something from my diaries: "The fuel of our creativity is our libido." - Grady Louis McMurtry to J. Edward Cornelius, March 17th 1978.

12:30pm Sally from Orgeon writes, “Are OTO women really just discarded, or are you making that up?” ... I replied, “OK, you got me. OTO women are not ‘literally’ discarded. It’s more a metaphor of what men would like rather than reality. Sadly, ever since OTO leaders started letting women step out in the forefront to dictate policies in a phallic cult there have been problems. I never thought I would live to see the day when 'sex' would become a dirty word in, of all places, the OTO. This is because the ‘Mrs. Goody-Two-Shoes’ are always trying to clean up the Order and elevate 'sex magick' to such a lofty plane that it often appears out-of-reach for the average person. Have they not read about Crowley's life? Anyway, since Grady’s death in 1985 I’ve been seeing a growing number of complaints being made against what are called 'sluts and whores' by newly made ‘clean-cut women' of husbands and boyfriends, who often forget their own past. It’s the unconscious fear that they are getting old and are no longer as attractive as they once were. Solidification is a bitch. They are threatened by the fact that young 'loose woman' might arouse 'lust' in their man. But they're in a phallic cult, what do they expect? As a man I ask myself, for magick to work, "Do I want flaccidity or rigidity?" Personal, if da bitch aint going to help me erect the Tent in the Minerval Degree then I'll find someone who can! ... I say, instead of worrying about ‘other’ women arousing lust these woman should learn to keep the ‘lust’ alive in themselves and then maybe men will then stop wishing they could ‘discard them for a better model.’ This is true on all planes. Now don't get me wrong; I'm still one of the first persons who'll stand up against sexual debauchery within OTO but my arguments is that it is often leads to a means of simply getting laid rather than any real magick. I think there is a time and place for everything. Finally; instead of out-right condemning ‘loose women’ I have always said let’s teach sex correctly right from the start. 

11:00am Aisha sent a funny little blurb. I replied, “Aisha 93! I love you. I was in stitches by your comment: “You talk a lot about the arousal from a man’s point of view and sex magick purpose behind his ‘Sacred Seed’ and ‘penis’ but, Ok, let’s be blunt, what about my pussy?”  ... Your emails never seem to amuse me. OK, let’s talk about your pussy. [big smile here] I forget whether it’s a calico, a tabby or a furry little yellow thing? But all joking aside; we know that in sex magick, predominantly western which is more phallic in nature, that a woman’s role is simply that of a ‘receiver’ or ‘vehicle.’ The latter is how she is referred to in Upper Degree OTO Grade Papers. Is this a bad thing no, although I might add along with the terms ‘receiver’ or ‘vehicle’ that of ‘the arouser’ because it’s closer to the truth; you do drive the male libidos wild! ... I think the bigger question within the phallic cult is whether or not the female obtains as does the man and how. Within OTO circles, she obtains absolutely nothing and if you doubt this; find one reference in any OTO Grade Papers referring to female achievement. Logic dictates; if she no longer arouses the ‘lust’ she is discarded for a newer model. “... another woman shall awake the lust & worship of the Snake.” (AL III:34) ... Anyway, within some groups both sexes achieve equally because they understand that it’s the ‘seed’ which creates change in etheric or Akashic currents; which I might add is something that is around everything; including woman. However, within OTO the ‘programmed seed’ is used solely for the man’s benefit towards the glory of his God and his Order, only. ... But it doesn’t have to be that way. Granted, it is the ‘seed’ that programs but the secret lies in the fact that the male has to stop being so “me, me, me, me ...” in regards to programming. I am always marveled by men concerned about ‘willed thought’ as if they own it rather than something they share; which is an old Aeonic Piscean mentality. Silly rabbits don’t know the secret yet that within the mind all minds are connected. Only on Malkuth is there the pain of division. Anyway, the Piscean mentality is to keep the woman in the ‘dark’ so that she doesn’t interfere with what  the MAN is thinking. Ah, man rules! It’s a control freak mentality. HE wants what is on HIS mind to be birthed; not both. This is part of the argument as to why OTO IXth Degree magick DOESN’T work and so readily fails. Logic dictates; keep the woman in the dark while having sex so you can plant your seed but; having tried to shut you up a time or two, I know that during sex you may not know what’s on my mind but you sure as Hell are thinking about something! So, if I am A and you are B and B wasn’t silent, what was created? I think if men want 100% control they should refer to VIIIth Degree! ... The bottom life is that I feel, if sex magick is going to work in the new Aeon of Aquarius we have to shed the old Piscean Aeonic belief where men are considered the all important one’s who think their little peckers are ‘their’ personal God’s Holy Vehicle and women should simply be used. ... Aquarius is the Aeon of the female. We need, as in the Graal legends, to let you assume the Throne and share in the programming!  There, have I said too much?

9:45am A student wrote: “A couple weeks back I wrote you an email where I discussed how I felt that doing most any magick especially "sex" magick before K & C was a bad idea because without the guidance of the angel there would be no way to be certain you weren't projecting some sort of "phantom" or desire. I feel like I'm right on that edge where I can no longer just go about "spilling my seed" without a willed intent behind the energy that I'm dispersing but I am also not at a point where I can say hey my angel says_____ and I don't like poking around in the dark cus I've stubbed my toe one too many times...so what's a magician to do???” ..... Answer: The great misconception is the belief that your HGA hasn’t been communicating with you since birth. Do you think he’s been on unemployment or on a beach in the Bahamas? In truth, your HGA has been guiding you since birth. Remember, the idea of communicating with the HGA in Tiphereth is WRONG. Most magickal schools emerging in Victorian times or shortly thereafter, Crowley’s included, all adhered to the notion that the HGA and Higher Self were One and the Same. They’re not. The HGA works out of Malkuth and Yesod to guide you and bring you up to the realization of your Higher Self, or True Will.  Damn Theosophy and Golden Dawn schools have done so much irreparable damage to the magician’s training. It took the better part of Crowley’s life for him to realize this. Anyway, what is Malkuth and Yesod but the vehicle and the ‘animal instinct’ or to be blunt, your penis and libido. In my last email I wrote, “The libido is what attracts and binds us together with all things.”  Did that go over your head? No pun intended. I should also point out that the spilling of ‘ALL’ seed is a willed intent. If it wasn’t our little member would be erect and shooting forth whenever ‘it’ wants. Worrying about ‘spilling the seed’ incorrectly is kinda foolish; a secret here – don’t cross the planes, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. ..... And for the record; you’ll learn that when doing HGA workings you most likely will never have ‘verbal communication.’ The Angel works in levels of our psyche wherein archetypal symbols abound. It communicates in this fashion and not by words in the sense that you and I use. This is why it’s so important for the magician to learn to interpret his life in regards to when ‘things’ happen out of the ordinary. The Angel guides but not in the manner that white-lighters like to assume. And, here is a clue, instead of waiting for him to communicate, why don’t you start the conversation? Or haven’t you read The Sacred Magic of Abramelin in regards to the First Two Moon?”

6:45am Sometimes my students surprise me. One sent to me this exceptional little observation just this morning: “Actually it is now that I am older and "wiser" that I find myself pulling away from doing much magick and certain sex acts as I am more cautious about how I utilize the energy... also I worry about creating "phantoms" But in truth none of this requires any direct link to OTO mysteries! So your right we can discuss it all without really having to go there and yes I do pick up on many of the Mysteries you web throughout your writings (as with AC)...in my opinion this is one of your best traits as a writer, that being your ability to communicate so much on many levels leaving it to the ability of the reader to hear what he is able to! Many of the things you write confirm similar ideas I've had, others stimulate thoughts in new directions, while others make me feel like hitting the side of my head with something blunt while saying "duh"... plenty of eye opining moments!!! But when it comes to sex magick I often feel that it is all theory when in actual practice???” ..... To which I replied, “Very good, you’re thoughs could have been taken right out of my own autobiography. But your fears about creating ‘phantoms’ are abit off; the ‘act of sex’ is not as dangerous as ‘thinking about it.’ ... Re-read my blog of Saturday July 22nd at 11:00am where I wrote, “I strongly believe in what magick teaches; that our mind, not our pussy or penis, is the greatest sexual organ.”  Ah, a gem thrown in amongst rocks. It is no secret that the sexual act can bring great delight but writers have long known that greatest sexual organ is not the penis or vagina; it’s our mind. I wrote, “The mere act of ‘thought’ fuels our libido; or sexual ‘creative’ drive.” The libido is what attracts and binds us together with all things. In other words; let me ask you a similar question that I asked another person. “You see a naked girl, is it the sight of her pussy that arouses you or the thought of what I’d like to do to it?” ... I’ll answer it for you: “it’s the ‘thinking process’ that excites.” ... What do you think programs the seed? Do you think it’s just the fleeting moment of orgasm? Remember, Aleister Crowley wrote in ‘Of the Nature of the Gods’ : “Of all our enemies those are most to be feared, who make false gods of their imaginations.” ... And finally you noted : “when it comes to sex magick I often feel that it is all theory when in actual practice.”  Not true.  But without study and theory can you ever learn to navigate a boat properly? Re-read the entire blog that I just mentioned of the 22nd.  Do you see the ‘real’ problem ‘between the lines’ with talking about sex magick to those who have no proper training? A phantom is not necessarily something created by the act of sex but by thinking about it! When you reduce sex magick merely to mean ‘practice’ (i.e. Malkuthian) all I can say is that you’ve been practicing since puberty; every act is a magickal act ... but : “Render unto Caesar the things which are Caesar’s, and unto God the things that are God’s”  (Mathew 22:21).”

Monday July 23rd 2007 - 6:00pm Ah, Maria, you commented on yesterday’s blog of 6:35pm where I mentioned, “... is this the key why men don’t need woman?” ... You wrote, “You’ll always need us women, get over it.” I know that this was written tongue in cheek because I’ve seen the rest of the email but you forget, I’ve been married twice with many, many girlfriends in-between, I’ve had my fill of you furry little creatures and I think I’m over it. I don’t live by the Scorpionic creed that “If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence.” If you do this you'll have a tendency to repeat folly. Instead, I keep careful records, diaries and notes because I strongly believe that the mind is our greatest pleasure organ and I use my records to remember every graphic detail of my past, to smile and to reflect back. In some ways, to smell the roses one last time. Inevitably this remind me of the good times ... and the bad times with the opposite sex. So, do I need a woman? Sure, are you available?

4:15pm One of my students, after reading my blog regarding sex magick wanted to know if I would teach him OTO theories. I think that I need to clarify something to my readers so that people don't get the wrong impression. I replied to him, "As a rule of thumb, I avoid email discussions regarding OTO sex magick & I’ll have to turn you down on this level. Oddly, I have no problem teaching this subject while using OTO or other philosophies as ‘examples’ but not the other way around. Also, I try to avoid having my ‘brain’ picked in person or by email because usually, and in most cases, the questions asked are of little importance to the heart or the foundation of the subject and they often reek of people wanting to “learn OTO.” - They forget, I am no longer in the OTO. - In truth, many of the ‘keys’ to sex magick are slowly being unfolded in the Holy Guardian Angel series. [in CORNELIA] A bright person should be able to figure it out and ask questions from that series which will lead me to explain and use examples." ... and that is what some people are doing.

Sunday July 22nd 2007 - 6:35pm OK, I admit implied secrets by mentioning II:26. You also wrote, “You opened up a can of worms, how does ‘sexual magickal masturbation’ relate to our daimon?”  Well, I'm not going to reveal the full content of my previous email to the public which prompted this question but since you’ve read all the CORNELIAs so far, you know that Akasha (which is Nuit) stretches like invisible water from Infinite of Space to the Akasha around our own body. Thus, “I and my Nuit are [always] one.” Everything has this Akashic current around it in order to exist including the “cloth, paper or anything in which” that the magician masturbates upon in VIIIth Degree OTO. Opps, is this the key why men don’t need woman? Anyway, semen is like a computer chip being programmed and what is on our mind at the point of orgasm can clothe an aura in what is called the “image of desire’ on our mind, which means in theory we can effectuate ‘ripples in the water.’ Remember, our aura (i.e. Akasha) has been programmed by our experiences (often sexual) since childhood and our daimon [i.e. elemental, Prana or lower HGA] reads this ‘Akashic memory card’ and tries to fulfill it throughout our life but this ‘memory’ card’ of experiences is not carved in stone; especially is regards to how we remember past events. (read The Soul’s Code by James Hillman)" .... "You asked, can we use sexuality to reprogram our Akashic shell?" ... Ah, VIIIth Degree! ... and I also wrote, "The clue to success is ‘Chastity’ the Foundation Stone of Seventh Degree OTO but as I’ve previously pointed out, Chastity does not mean ‘going without sex.’ Aleister Crowley said it best in Little Essay’s Toward Truth (p.60) "Chastity may thus be defined as the strict observance of the Magical Oath; that is, in the Light of the Law of Thelema, absolute and perfected devotion to the Holy Guardian Angel and exclusive pursuit of the Way of the True Will." This is also known as ‘Know Thyself.’ ... Basicaly, sex is OK, just use it correctly."

5:40pm ... "Good question, let's examine Liber AL vel Legis II:26 “I am the secret Serpent coiled about to spring: in my coiling there is joy.  If I lift up my head, I and my Nuit are one. If I droop down mine head, and shoot forth venom, then is rapture of the earth, and I and the earth are one.” ... Chapter II is of 'HADIT' and is rooted in male priciples. So what it's saying is that by ‘lifting up of my head (penis) it allows me (as Hadit) and Nuit to become one but drooping down my head (penis) and ejaculating ‘venom’ (semen) refers to a different ‘direction of thought’ wherein I and the Earth become one. However, at no time does it mention that ‘either’ of these extremes are wrong or right. Magicians are always quick to point out that 'shooting' forth venom' is evil. But where does it say this?  And if so, is OTO magick evil then by New Aeonic standards in regards to VIIIth Degree? The next verse clearly states that whoever “doth not understand these runes shall make a great miss. He shall fall down into the pit called Because, and there he shall perish with the dogs of Reason.” In other words ‘the great miss’ may well be not understanding 'direction.' Remember, sometimes a cigar is just a cigar and a penis just a penis. Both required in our experiences but don’t cry that magick doesn’t work if you simply use sex to get laid. ... Still ... every act is a magickal act so what does this mean?"

4:48pm My dear and old friend, Alan Cabal aka the Mad Duck sent me a belated Birthday Greeting, writing, "Late, of course, but BON FETE, dude!"

1:45pm What? You're upset at my OTO comments! "Obviously you've never been to Thelema Lodge or to the old OTO group in Sacramento where libidos were out of control." ... I heard the banter - "Sex is what I want, sex after the Mass."

1:07pm I wrote, "... as an example of misunderstood sex magick: the OTO for all its claims at being a Solar phallic organization it neither teaches nor guides its initiates into understanding their libido in order for the Seventh, Eighth and Ninth Degree magick to be performed properly. This is why there is the old joke by salivating lecherous OTO perverts, “Hey little girl, wanna be a priestess?” - They want to see the naked girl, plain and simple. - On the opposite spectrum, others within the OTO claim that any arousal’ within the Gnostic Mass has no place; that the main intent is of ‘higher aspirations.’ Bla Bla Bla. Damn, puritanical closet Christians! The OTO has forgotten that there is nothing wrong with arousal; the libido or sexual drive can be one of the greatest creative forces if focused properly. The modern OTO has yet to fully learn it’s own teachings but what do you expect when the majority of all the Ninths made by the Election of OHO in 1985 were elevated up and skipped degrees. Not one of them ever worked 7th or 8th Degree magick; the foundation stone of control, before obtaining IXth."

11:00am ... "It’s funny that you asked about this; it’s a topic that has come up recently. I would love to be able to talk openly on Friday nights about sex magick but I strongly believe in what magick teaches; that our mind, not our pussy or penis, is the greatest sexual organ. I know for a fact that the mere act of ‘thought’ fuels our libido; or sexual ‘creative’ drive. I’ve used this technique for years. And yes; long ago I realize that when I see a naked girl it’s not the sight of her pussy that arouses me but the thought of what I’d like to do to it. The same process occurs when we all talk or write in a sexual nature; it’s the ‘thinking process’ that excites. The major problem talking honestly or graphically about sex in a mixed crowd of men and women is that some men in particular, by their nature, are incapable of ‘thinking’ about what is being discussed without becoming aroused. Once the lower head starts taking over, it starts doing all the thinking. These individual then focus on the cutest young lady present; ignore the lecture and begin throwing about their best ‘jokes’, ‘innuendos’ or ‘pick up lines.’ Men often ‘dominate’ their surroundings when aroused; it’s a control freak mentality driven by the ‘lower head’ while trying to be noticed. Do you see the problem? As I’ve said before and I’ll say it again; most men are dogs in need of training. They see bitches, they wanna sniff their butt and the next thing which comes to mind is mounting them. However, because most are not trained properly, they simply want go off and have sex, or masturbate, all the energy ‘accrued’ through sexual arousal is immediately ‘earthed-out’ by a fleeting moment to gratify lust. - ‘Lightning strikes the ground.’ – Now don’t get me wrong, I love a good lustful moment as much as the next guy but there is a time and a place for everything. Anyway, I personally don’t want my meetings to be reduced to the lowest common denominator. They’re meant to be teaching sessions and usually, at the first sign of a pervert rearing their ugly head [no pun intended] I throw them out." ... What do my local students think?  Write to me.

9:15am I wrote to one of my students : "You have voiced a strong interest to join the AA. In this Order we desperately try to follow the inevitably foundational Law of ‘Know Thyself.’ ... All magick is the slow unfoldment of this principle until we embrace the Laws of our Universe and we begin to realize the nature of the ‘experience’ for which we have incarnated. Remember, all the clues to our incarnation were given to us pre-puberty." ... I also pointed out in my email that often prepuberty sexual experiences hold the key to our present behavior, adding: "Psychology and society are quick to dictate morals with right or wrong but magicians simply reflect and try to understand the cause and effect behind everyone’s actions in order to control and utilize them. When left unchecked, these impulses control us and keep us bound to Earth."

Friday July 20, 2007 – 3:33pm [I wonder if he planned the time?] The noted English author and Crowleyite, Andrew Drylie sent a brief blurb after reading about the earthquake. He wrote, "You can take it I know you can!

8:15am Phillp DeAmato of Kansas writes, "Glad to hear you're OK. We have tornados out here but I can't imagine living in earthquake Hell." ... I replied, "I've only lived through one Tornado in my life so far and it scared the Hell out of me far more than all the quakes that I've experienced since coming out here in 1989. I kinda like the idea of picking up my apartment, in my apartment and not all over the neighborhood." ... I also wish to thank all the other people who have been calling or emailing this morning to see if I'm OK. Let me say, to all of you, I'm doing fine.

6:20am James Strain sent an email, “Hi Jerry 93. Wow, that earthquake sounded scary. Never a dull moment, huh?" ... I replied, “Yes, living here in Berkeley is never dull.”

4:42am Aughhhhhhhh! I was just jolted from my bed by one of the worst earthquakes to hit the Bay Area here in California since the Loma Prieta back in 1989. It was a long rumbling one, seven or eight seconds; my apartment shook violently as things fell over, books off shelves and pictures off the walls but luckily nothing broke. Yes, it woke me! The News is saying it was the Hayward Fault and it struck just a few miles north/east of Oakland near the Claremont Hotel, very shallow which is why it shook so violently. It was a magnitude of 4.2. Definitely fried my nerves! Good morning! ... I need a cup of coffee. ... Lots of people came running out of their apartments in this building. ... All my fish, about a hundred guppies, are huddled together in a clump in the upper right corner of my fish tank?   Check it out: http://quake.usgs.gov/recenteqs/Maps/San_Francisco.htm

Thursday July 19, 2007 – 10:05am And thank you Aisha for this little Biblical gem: ... “And God created woman. And she was good. And she had two arms, two legs, and three breasts. God then asked woman what she would like to have changed about herself. And she asked for her middle breast to be removed. God removed her middle breast. And it was good. She stood there with her third breast in her hand and asked God what should be done with this useless boob? And God created Man.”

9:35am "Jerry 93! Loved the joke; how about this one. 93 Rey." ... A man and a priest were playing golf. The man took his first shot; hit the ball & it flew off into the woods. Dismayed he uttered, "Fuck, I missed."

Surprised, the priest replied, "Don’t use that kind of language or God will punish you."

At the next hole the man took aim, whacked his ball and again it went off and under his breath he said, "I fuck’n missed again."

The priest overheard and replied, "My son, please don’t use that language or God will punish you."

The man then took his third shot; it too was not one of his best shots and once again he couldn’t help mutter, "Oh fuck…"     

The priest said, "That’s it God will certainly punish you now."

Suddenly a bolt of lightning came down out of sky, struck the priest and killed him dead on the spot.

In the distance the clouds rumbled and you could hear a deep voice say, "FUCK, I Missed".

8:05am Did you hear the one about Jesus walking into a hotel, tossing some nails down on the front desk and asking to be put up for the night?

After days of final editing & proofing I have released issue No.11 of CORNELIA It contains the final chapter of the man of Earth and the HGA series from IN QUEST OF THE HOLY GUARDIAN ANGEL titled The Elemental, the First Two Moons And Practical Application. We also continue on with THE MAGICKAL ESSENCE OF ALEISTER CROWLEY series Chapter 9 which is titled An Open Letter on the Enochian Watchtowers. And the crowd pleaser continues with MEMOIRS OF AN OTO INITIATE, Being an Historical Romp into a Quasi-Magickal Fraternity in California; this issues has Chapter Six - ‘After the Police Raid’ [with great photos!] ... Also in this issue is a poem titled SILENT WHISPERS OF SATURN AND SOL by Frater Coph Nia Baphomet 888 and in the biography section we detail the life of PHILIP ARNOLD HESELTIN aka Peter Warlock and how he knew Aleister Crowley.

Wednesday July 18, 2007 – 11:00am Clive Harper of England writes, “Many thanks for Cornelias 9&10. They continue to present much fascinating information. With regard to the discussion of William Seabrook's proposed newspaper serial [Issue 9, p42] I can confirm that one installment (at the very least) was indeed published as a fellow enthusiast once showed me a yellowing double page spread from an American newspaper of the 1920s, featuring a sensationalist article on Crowley by Seabrook.” 

Tuesday July 17, 2007 – 12:10pm A pretty little thing here in Berkeley, smarter than she realizes, sent a great email. I would like to share what I replied. - “In magick we learn that Truth can only exist above the Abyss. Everything below is called Maya which many believe simply means ‘illusion’ which is not completely accurate. Maya is each individual’s ignorance which obscures the true visions of reality that All is One rather than One appearing as Many. The magician appropriately calls this Maya ‘Lies’ because this more often than not explains the ‘reason’ why we obscure Truth.  As an example: we know that the Truth to one person is not the same to the next; it’s all a contradiction. We accept this knowing it to be part of our quest.  If everything was ‘True’ we’d simply learn it and be done with it. The pendulum ‘swinging’ is what keeps us moving forward; the end result being that it just doesn’t matter. Today’s understood ‘Truths’ are tomorrow’s ‘I should have known betters.’ ... All along of we should have understood that Maya; like Lies, was teaching us not to place importance on any one thing over another. - Liber AL vel Legis I:22. “Bind nothing!  Let there be no difference made among you between any one thing & any other thing; for thereby there cometh hurt.”  .... You are completely correct when you asked, “Is not real what you feel at the moment?” Bravo.  Now live it!  Meher Baba’s best spiritual message that he gave to mankind is the simple phrase  “Don’t worry. Be happy.” .... You also asked, “Are the two shores the opposite ends of reality?” ....  More appropriately the quest for Self has us walking in circles. They are not necessarily ‘opposite ends’ as much as the realization that the shore where we once stood is where we end up. I was watching TV last night and I saw no better an example which had me in stitches; it was a commercial for adult diapers. .... You asked, “Is balance transitory or can it be achieved?” Yes, Balance is fleeting, the pendulum never stops swinging. What is today’s Truth is tomorrow’s Lies. Ah, LIFE, don’t you love it? .... Your best question, the one which I wish all my students would ask, is when you wrote, “What is the point in replying if it is all rubbish?”  Double bravo!  And big smiles!  You cut right to the heart of the matter! ... This is why, to me, the old structure of the AA failed; it offered no place for a student to simply ‘stop’ and be themselves for awhile and not pursue intellectually what the teacher pushes down their throat. The man of Earth grade should be a place where everyone can simply “Be Happy.” There is no intense study if they don’t want it. You are just required to learn to live ‘Thelemically’ on the mundane or ‘horizontal’ plane. We discovered long ago that not everybody has a driving need to understand philosophical ‘rubbish’ ... some simply want a place where they can live in the ‘Here Now’ amongst their peers.  Such people come into our Order knowing things which other student’s takes years to figure out; that ‘Seeking anything is an admittance you’re not It!”  Such people unconsciously realize how to straddle the pendulum’s center pole!  They may not be the brightness or sharpest needles but they smile nicely - we should let them just hang around if they want.” ....You also asked, “How did you know that the “like of [my] kind are in desperate need of spiritual guidance”?”  That comment in my writing was not meant for ‘your’ kind. If you’ve been around as long as I have been you would have seen hundreds of occultist who are seeking someone who can help them ‘prove their greatness’ or they are simply slave-like people who want a Holy Guru to tell them when to wake, what to do and what to think because they are “in desperate need of spiritual guidance.” ... You, on the other hand, have never shown me that you are in quest of a ‘guru.’ Although you have issues, internal struggles, you have always appeared stubborn, confident and set in your ways. We call your kind Capricorns; and the Sacred Mountain that occultists are forever seeking to climb in order to reach its summit, you, as a Goat, are already standing there! Sadly, most Capricorns never realize this little gem or to what it means."

12:05pm One of my students in Illinois asked a great question, “... I was wondering how disconnected or aware I should be when contrasting Jehovah to YHVH?” ... Answer: To me they are one and the same. Most magicians who approach magick usually have issues with ‘God’ or hierarchies and the idea of telling them that working with the Formulas of YHVH is dealing with God (i.e. Jehovah) rubs them wrong.  Most like to think that YHVH is simply a random formula like H2O. I remind my students that I believe strongly in Gnostic thought which states that Jehovah is the lowest God on the rung of many; he and his cohorts are the ‘Creator Gods’ who [supposedly] rebelled. Once fallen, it does not mean that he lost his right to Create and that ‘manifestation’ is no longer his duties; just look around you and you’ll see his creations continuing every second, everywhere on this plane. With that in mind, magicians cannot ignore him; we must learn his Laws in order to figure out how he is restricting us. Remember, The Sacred Magick of Abramelin clearly informs us that it is the ‘demons’ who created Earth and who are the Demons under but the Fallen One?  As magicians we must first learn, according to Abramelin, to control the ‘four-fold forces of nature.”  (i.e. through Banishing Rituals, Resh etc & etc) These ‘four-fold forces’ are the Laws of Creation, of Maya the very thing which binds us into thinking that this plane is important. Study The Devil card. The Fallen One who created this World wants us to think that He, above all others, should be worshipped and he does this by keeping us bound to the material plane. The question is, "Is this part of the Divine Plan?"

9:00am Here is part of an email [slightly edited] that I sent off this morning; perhaps it has tidbits others might enjoy. ..... “Let me start off saying that I am a harsh teacher and have always avoided pulling punches. I strongly believe that OTO no longer teaches how to live Thelemically because its leaders are not Thelemites but closet Christians. On an upper degree level, all the leaders, except me, have never sworn the Eighth Degree Oaths; they lack a magickal Thelemic foundation. This became even more apparent when the dual nature of the Eighth Degree became gutted and the philosophical and religious bodies were merged with the political, if not thrown out. On a lower level we know that The Book of the Law is no longer tolerable to be read out loud within this fraternity, nor can its members discussed or write about their views. How do they expect people to learn the Law of ‘Do what thou wilt’ ? ... I saw the OTO here in Berkeley and in Sacramento as no better than little children being naughty in a licentious way. It was not magick, nor Thelema ... it was simply a group of children trying to use a ‘community’ to do drugs and get laid but what do you expect without supervision? Ah, let’s play ‘Do what we want.’ If this is your view of an “opportunity to confront the challenges of living as a thelemite” I want no part of it. It’s not my idea of a community. ... You asked my views on Morailty? Consider what Marquis de Sade once wrote, “In order to know virtue, we must first aquaint ourselves with vice.” On that note, I think we should all determine our ‘morality’ for ourselves, each being as different as night and day. However, we should not, as often done within OTO circles, try to convince every cute young girl that Thelema means giving up their body and their soul with “Hey little girl, you want to be priestess” games. This only leads to community meltdown because it violates the first rule of Thelema according to Aleister Crowley which is to let everyone else do their Will first!The first rule is not and I repeat not to convince girls that having free sex is their True Will. ... Thelema can spawn a great community, if the foundations stones are The Book of the Law and not based in personal proclivities. However, if you were an Eighth Degree initiate this would be obvious. ... You asked about my views on Sex? ... It’s a kinda broad question, no?  With that kind of question all I can do is answer -  “OK.” ... Always remember that too often wannabe magicians cross the planes. That is what I’m talking about. If you want to play ‘horizontally’ as a man of Earth great, anything goes in my book and I have few sexual scruples because I strongly believe that I incarnated to gain experiences ... but when I am attempting to move ‘vertically’ I make sure that I don’t confuse apples with oranges; ah Seventh & Eighth Degree OTO! ... The upper degrees of OTO or Hermetic Triad, according to Grady, was to become receivers ‘vertically’ of the 93 Current in order to teach and guide the lower two Triads to embrace Thelema. This is the Key to Inner and Outer Orders but sadly, under Frater Sabazius, the OTO works only ‘horizontally’ in ALL degrees. He jumped from being a lower degree all the way up to IXth. How can we expect him to know any better? The OTO is merely a mundane fraternity now with no Inner guidance; this is obvious by its writings, especially Sabazius’. I think the world-wide angst and frustration by its members is their unconscious screams knowing such to be true."

6:10am Roberta DiFronzo ‘aka’ Bert, my ex-girlfriend and one of the original people who established the OTO in Connecticut back in 1977 with Brocken Mountain Lodge, sent me an email yesterday; subject titled: “Time is just an illusion, so this birthday wish isn't really late...”  She then added, “... or at least that's the best explanation that I have at the moment. Anyway, I just wanted to wish you a Happy Birthday and let you know that I was thinking of you and wishing you health and happiness and all good things always. Nothing much new here. I spent yesterday returning a wayward snapping turtle to the marsh and rescuing an injured cat - you know me, always a sucker for animals. Other than that, I've just been dealing with the endless minutae of daily life. Keep in touch. Love, Bert.”  She is a sweetheart; she’s off only two days this year! My birthday was on the 14th. I replied, “Bert 93! Yes, time is just an illusion and I agree, a birthday wish from a Scorpio is never really late ... I do wish you had been here to celebrate it with me. I had a pack apartment filled with old friends, stories and good times. Luis brought a fine chocolate cake! Saving wayward turtles and cats are you? I just freed one of my fish! Of course, with toilet water swirling, I think he was dead. You too, keep in touch ... Big hugs and much love. 93 93/93 Jerry.” ... Yes, Bert is a sucker for animals, anyone who could put up with me as long as she did deserves a special medal.

Monday July 16 2007 – 9:20am Aisha, visiting Berkeley, sends this comment from her friends computer: “I read Crowley’s 777 looking for geranium and lily under ‘Plants, Real and Imaginary” knowing that you like to ‘web’ things and rarely drop ‘nouns’ without purpose. And I see they rule Taurus and Virgo. What do you got against cactuses?” ... Answer: Ah, you think too much!  You, of all people, should know that a cactus doesn’t grow well in my apartment. Not enough Sun.

8:40am John asks, “Do you have any Presidential Timbers in the work?” ... Answer: Timber? No but I do have a hearty little geranium and a beautifuly white lily. I live by what Crowley wrote to Grady in 1944. “Trust not a stranger: fail not of an heir.”

8:00am A question arose, “Do you think Grady would have approved of you assuming the Caliphate?” ... Answer: I think so, in fact, I think he might have planned it. Let me quote my autobiography:

"On July 14th 1993 I turned 42, which is a number, according to The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, that is the answer to the Universe. In honor of Grady McMurtry I entered into the Temple, robed and sat quietly for what seemed like an eternity.  It is no secret that I had been disgusted for months, no years at the thought that [Fra. HB] and [Fra. Sabazius] had let the Caliphate fall by the wayside. I remembered Crowley’s letter to Grady dated November 21st 1943 at the very end of which Crowley has a ‘note’ where he acknowledges the “Caliphate is not mine” to give; followed by the quote of John Bunyan’s poem, “My Sword to him that can get it” and Crowley then added that “everyone can make him - or herself - of Presidential Timber.” I remember how Grady believed strongly that Crowley had left the proper descent from one heir to the next open ended.

As Grady would also write, Crowley “simply left it open ended. I had certain advantages. If I could establish myself in the order of succession, fine and good.” But Grady felt that Crowley did not want “to blast my chances, and possibly me, by holding forth his hand [to acknowledge Grady as his son, 777] because he knew by then, from very sad experience, what frightening, and unknown, forces could be set in motion simply by the holding forth his hand.” In other words, “He could help an individual create certain possibilities, but he could not complete those possibilities. That was up to the individual involved.” He merely wanted to plant the ‘magickal seed’ of 777 in order to let it grow. Grady would acknowledge this belief by writing that Crowley had “actually, accepted me as his magical son, but felt that, for various reasons, it would be best not to say so at the time ... I think that he did, on pronouncing my number to be 777, accepted me as the magical son he had been talking to when he wrote LIBER ALEPH.” ... Crowley originally wrote this book for Frater Achad in 1918. Unfortunately, Achad failed him as his magickal heir, or son. Throughout his life, Grady would be torn between trying to live up to Crowley’s view of placing no importance on 777 while, at the same time, grooming his tree to stand tall in order to fulfill a prophecy.

Now, as I sat in a darkended Temple, I thought back about Grady, about the times we spent together and also of Syracuse back in 1984. I remember as Luis Alvarado and I were leaving, Grady handed me his personal numbered copy of The Book of Thoth, the 1969 Shambhala Press edition; No.777. He told me, and I quote: “Someday, that’ll mean something to you.” At the time I smiled and thought it was like a Chinese parable, admittedly thinking little else. I did not as yet know all the facts about his belief regarding 777 nor the Caliphate. Now, in the Temple, I knew that Grady was acknowledging his belief that I may not be his successor in the OTO, but I was magickal son. I thought, could I too be of “Presidential Teimber?”

I remembered John Bunyan’s poem, “My Sword to him that can get it”

At exactly 4:18pm I swore a Magickal Oath to assume the Caliphate. I choose the motto Frater Hymenaeus Gamma. The sword is officially mine."

7:30am John 93! You commented on my July 14th blog about the Caliphate and how “I often wondered what happened to it.” ..... In the early days when Fr.HB assumed head of the OTO there were many jokes being passed around how the Cali-phate was simply Aleister Crowley’s way of jabbing at Grady because of his youth, his inexperience and because he was from Cali-fornia. I tried to no avail in the early years to explain to Fr.HB in person that Grady was the second Caliph. That Crowley designated Germer the first. I go in-depth into this and I quote all the letters regarding these appointments in Grady’s bio; In The Name of the Beast. ... Also, let me tell you about something that occurred after the Areopagus Meeting out at Bill Heidrick’s house in San Anselmo in April 1994. In the car ride back to my house; Fr.HB drove, Lon DuQuette sat next to him and I sat in the back with Arild Stromsverg, an upper degree from Norway. [I'll tell you someday of how HB drove up the exit ramp into on-coming traffic on the highway and nearly killing a bunch of us upper degrees] After a lengthy discourse on AA lineages where HB and Lon trashed Phyllis, the conversation shifted. I later wrote and I quote: “Another serious bone of contention for me was when I again tried to explain about the Caliphate. It had been a topic earlier discussed between me and Dave Scriven at Heidrick’s house. Anyway, all I got from these two was cackling like chickens in heat as they ridiculed the ‘concept.’ Both admitted they never saw all the “supposed letters” that I was talking about and they tried to explain why the Caliphate, not being part of the original OTO structure, had no place in the Order and they agreed with Scriven. I sat back in my seat and thought to myself, “Yes, the Caliphate has no part in your OTO.” I remained quiet. I think this annoyed them both because about half way back to my house they changed the subject and very little else was discussed the rest of the way but light talk.”

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