~ SEPTEMBER 16th- 30th, 2007 ~

(the latest entries are always added to the top)

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. - AL I:40

Friday September 28th 2007 – 10:35am I received this thought from one of my students yesterday. He writes, “I can't help but notice every time I visit with my oldest friend, who is gay, that he and his partner always seem to be glowing in an almost supernatural fashion. Of all my friends he is the one who has had the longest relationships and most satisfying sex life. While I admit there have been some of the usual psychological issues that occur between people in the relationship I have known him to have, I have no memory of him seeming as drained as i have been or seen my many heterosexual friends being after relationships.  I note occasional friendship with lesbians over the years who also note the "madness" that they have to face in trying to manage relationships with their partners. I wonder if we lovers of women are just simply doomed. :-/” ..... Answer: I hope not! Anyway, I have a few heterosexual friends who have been together for over twenty years and I have gay friends who have had one tumultuous relationship after another. I think that in all cases there will always be those who understand what a relationship implies so keep a stiff upper lip and believe in yourself!

9:30am I found this NEWS tidbit and I thought I’d share it with my readers because it’s rather amusing. It is titled ‘CHINA TO REINCARNATED MONKS: “YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT!” The article reads: “In one of history’s more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission. According to a statement issued by the State Administration for Religious Affairs, the law, which goes into effect next month and strictly stipulates the procedures by which one is to reincarnate, is “an important move to institutionalize management of reincarnation.” But beyond the irony lies China’s true motive: to cut off the influence of the Dalai Lama, Tibet’s exiled spiritual and political leader, and to quell the region’s Buddhist religious establishment more than 50 years after China invaded the small Himalayan country. By barring any Buddhist monk living outside China from seeking reincarnation, the law effectively gives Chinese authorities the power to choose the next Dalai Lama, whose soul, by tradition, is reborn as a new human to continue the work of relieving suffering.” 

Thursday September 27th 2007 – 9:35am Mary, suggests "whipped cream, cherries, chocolate syrup, handcuffs, a peacock feather and a video camera” as a man keeper ... excuse me while I pause for a second to imagine the scenario ..................... yes, she's right! [big smile]

9:20am And here is a blurb I wrote in another email: “I have learned over the years that men have no problem studying the mechanics and physiology of their anatomy from a magickal point-of-view and we know so about ‘our’ magick because we’ve dominated both physically and spiritual the previous two-thousand plus years or the Aeon of Pisces but don’t chastises us for this. The Aeon itself was a Male Aeon which unconsciously affected everyone. It is also important to realize that in most cultures which adhere to reincarnation the belief is that we often switch genders to gain experiences. YOU picked the vehicle that you came in with at birth. YOU picked being a woman, not me!  And who knows, maybe in a past life you were a man who indirectly established the very Laws which you now feel restricted by? Anyway, this Aeon, the Aeon of Aquarius is a Female Aeon. Look around you, see the strides females have made in less than a hundred years and realize that this Aeon, like the last, will continue on for the next two thousand years! Right now, women are seemingly flexing their muscles in the ‘mundane’ like little children trying to walk but sooner or later they will turn within; similar to how men have done in the past. I firmly believe that women will discover how to use the Power that flows through them for their benefit just as men have done.” 

9:00am I wrote this in an email to a person who wishes to remain anonymous: “As you know, I preach deeply about reincarnation and how we chose our lives before birth which will give us the foundation stones to achieve our True Wills. In that light, our sexuality as learned in childhood or dictated through our zodiac signs, holds vast keys to who we are and how our ‘energy’ functions in the mundane. The law of Abramelin warns us of the nature of both the demon and the angel, one we control while the other controls us. Your Angel is constantly trying to draw you off this plane into becoming a spiritual being while your demon is forever trying to keep you here to wallow in everyday issues away from spirituality. Remember, there is no greater way to keep a person, male or female, on Malkuth than to have him or her questing for the ‘opposite’ externally! Stop worrying about keeping your ‘man’ and start worrying about finding him within.”

7:45am Maria’s email from this morning brilliantly laid out some of the fundamental problems. Bravo! I too am no authority either in the case of relationships or sexual matters but I do know fairly well the sexual phallic teachings of Aleister Crowley and how, if done properly, a man can utilize the ‘Fire’ from the Gods in a Promethian fashion to channel deep unconscious creative juices; i.e. spawned genius. [Thus the magickal axiom: ‘By their Fruits you shall know them.’] I think responsibility or failure is always a two-way street and both sexes should face some accountability but I am always amazed over the years with women who get with men who practice OTO magick and then become upset because they feel that they are simply being used or considered ‘vehicles.’ Why are they still in the OTO?  The first and most often reply that I hear is that they plan to ‘change things’ without realizing that it is impossible unless all the upper Degree Teachings or Grade Papers as well as the Initiation Rituals (which unconsciously teach phallic magick through symbology) are thrown out or re-written. However, on the most mundane level, if they couldn’t ‘change’ their husband or boyfriend then what makes them think that they can change a whole Order filled with them?

Anyway, I try to tell women that they don’t have to become ‘loose’ simply to be in OTO to keep their man but in my studies of the Temple prostitute I continually see methods which women can utilize to keep the Fire burning. Most of my magickal talks try to indirectly or through allegory, teach this magick but the problem with my website, as I see it, is simple:

a. All of my teaching and training comes through Aleister Crowley’s Ordo

Templi Orientis from 27 years within this Order as an Upper Degree and

with being Grady McMurtry’s personal student and AA heir.

b. People, both men and women, reading my website continually forget that

the OTO has nothing to do with teaching women about their sexual

anatomy or magickal currents.

c. In that light, I teach what I know, I teach phallic magick.

d. I teach how and why phallic magick works and doesn’t work.

e. I don’t teach female sex magick because I have learned over the years, if

women get offended with me teaching phallick magick, they’ll hunt me

down like a stray dog for daring to imply that I know about them!

I don’t know why my writings infuriate some women but I do seem to draw heat from time to time. From my experience, women rarely understand that most men really don’t care if their wives or girlfriends gain a little weight or change over the years, who doesn’t? We all do, it’s called ‘Life.’ But inevitably, familiarity over a period of time breads male arousal into non-existence and trying to determine who is at fault is a difficult road because no one, male of female, likes to take responsibility for the sleeping member in their family. ... Well, over the last few days I’ve stuck both arms down the lioness’s throat, let me give her my right leg and quote – “Men’s ego’s are fragile, women’s ego’s are often stubborn.” ... Anyway, it’s no secret that phallic magick (i.e. OTO) doesn’t work with placidity dominating the field because what ‘Lightning’ will ever strike a Lightning Rod lying on the ground? Unconsciously men know this, or at least the Gods built in a fail safe method into us fowl creatures so we can function ... he made us dogs! 

People also forget that sex magick is NOT a secret! We do it all the time. True sex magick entails looking at the world around you and studying its behavior. One of my more promising students whom I always call grasshopper wrote me yesterday noting, “... will I ever graduate from being a grasshopper to some other sort of insect maybe a dung beetle or a beautiful butterfly.” Of course he was just kidding but I replied, “I don’t know if you ever saw it but in the original pilot to the Kung Fu series a young student named Caine stands before the master PO who shows him, even though he is totally blind, that he can hear a grasshopper at Caine’s feet, even when Caine is unaware of such. Caine forever becomes known as grasshopper.” The advice that Master PO gives is to close your eyes, be quiet, listen and pay attention to the world around you. In this light, or in sex magick, the Gods created things to work unconsciously within all animals, humanity included.  We are no different than other animals and I always laugh at people who think otherwise. Being a magician I want to carefully examine why A + B = C and then duplicate the process in a scientific manner to control the outcome. Those individuals, both men and women, who fail at sex magick always seem to forget the first rule – “Nature is perfect.”  We cannot side-step her laws simply because we personally don’t like them or disagree with them. We are scientists. We must study the Laws and if we disagree with certain ones then we prove why! Neither sex wants to hear arguments that “the world is flat!”  It’s unscientific!

Finally, I agree 100% with Maria when she wrote, “... women still have brains, and if they bothered to get past themselves and their petty neuroses, maybe they'd learn how to use them.”  Can I ever scream BRAVO loudly enough?  I never advocate to a women that she has to become a “slut or whore” to keep her man but I agree that if the woman wants to keep him, study how and blaming the dog for sniffing butts elsewhere is not the solution. The first rule of magick which all true magicians, male or female, must adhere and live by is “Know Thyself.”  FIRST!!!

6:00am Maria from Los Angeles sent in this priceless gem in an email Subject titled as "Those pesky gender issues." I am drafting a tome-like reply to post later but until then I thought I'd share her views. She writes:

Dear Jerry,

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

I've enjoyed your writings on gender relations and sex magick. I, for one, am not offended by your stance. I'm the last person to be an authority on these matters, so how can I take offense at another person's point of view? As far as women and their failure to arouse men, perhaps women should take responsibility for that. We all get older, to be sure, but getting old doesn't necessarily render anyone sexually unattractive. I think the culprit lies in certain attitudes. Women forget that economic parity doesn't necessarily lend itself to parity across the board. Like it or not - men and women are different, and ever shall remain so.

The study of prostitution has always fascinated me, even long before my serious foray into Thelema, which reclaims sacred prostitution. My interest was largely historical. Just how did women secure economic success in a pre-industrial age (barring marriage or inheritance)? Only a limited amount of options were available.

Wait... wait. I feel I must back up and tell you a story first, a story which will further serve to elucidate my historical (or is that hysterical) interest in prostitution. Picture, if you will, a crisp winter day somewhere in the pacific northwest in 1980. I'm in college and taking a remedial mathematics class. Momentarily bored by the tedium of the exercises I start chatting with a guy who lives on my same floor. We were talking about the lot of different people in the medieval period.

"As a women you had three choices," He began. "To be a wife, courtesan or nun."

"And which do you think I would have been?" I asked coyly.

"Oh, you would have been a nun."

"What!!!!!" I was taken aback.

"Now hold on," he continued. "You love reading, I know you do. Just where do you think you'd be educated during that time except for the church?"

"Hmmm," I thought a moment. "You've got a point there." I mean, better to be Hildegard of Bingen than some peasant woman with eight children trailing behind. Still, I had hoped to be a likened to a Venetian courtesan, but I'd take a nun. Maybe I would have known Greek. "Okay, I'll take that."

That conversation sparked my interest in prostitution as a means of economic independence for women (especially before the Industrial Revolution.) It helped that I was also studying Greek philosophy and thought the role of the hetairai was just nifty. The more I read, the more I realized that the most famous of all Grande Horizontales (as they were called in 19th century France) were not necessarily the most beautiful nor the most sexy. They were intelligent, intelligent enough to provide men with what men needed, and for that they were given recompense. So, in my early adulthood quest to figure out what men desired, I turned my attention to the experts and avidly studied the history of prostitution (sacred and otherwise) in all cultures.

But most women today are insulted by such notions. It's too bad. Men and women are different. But women still have brains, and if they bothered to get past themselves and their petty neuroses, maybe they'd learn how to use them.

Love is the law, Love under will

Maria

5:18am Regarding my pig cartoon, Kathleen writes, “Well, it looks like I won’t be calling you a dog anymore!” She also writes, “You are sick but I love your blog!” .....  Reply: Thanks! And did you know that pigs have a large thick corkscrew-shaped penis and that their orgasm lasts for 30 minutes? Never let it be said that you don’t learn stuff by reading my blog!

5:10am Mathew writes, “Mr.Cornelius 93, love the pig!”

5:00am For the history buffs: On this date in 1726 a 25 year old maidservant named Mary Toft from Godalming, England became the subject of considerable controversy when she gave birth to sixteen rabbits, according to her doctors John Howard. He sent immediate letters to some of England’s greatest doctors and scientists asking for help investigating the delicate situation and among those who came to his assistance were Nathaniel St Andre, the surgeon-anatomist to King George I and Sir Richard Manningham, the most famous obstetrician in London. In their presence, Toft gave birth to several more dead rabbits. When the doctors questioned her she claimed that during her pregnancy she had an intense craving for roast rabbit, which she tried to catch in the garden and which she admired in the village market, and that she dreams about rabbits. Based on this evidence the doctors explained that these births were the result of “maternal impressions”, contending that a pregnant woman’s experiences could be imprinted directly on the fetus at conception and this is what caused the birth defects of her children to look like rabbits. Surprisingly the ‘rabbit birthings’ were actually exposed as a hoax, but not before many of London’s most eminent doctors had been thoroughly taken in by the concept. ..... and would also like to mention that Cagliostro was arrested on this date in 1789 by order of the Pope and becomes one of the last official arrests by the Apostolic Court of the Inquisition in Italy.  No charges were ever officially presented to any court due to the fact that all those who could testify against him were dead thanks to the inquisition. It was decided to throw him in prison anyway, where he would later die. ..... also, on September 27, 1911 Rose Edith Kelly, aka Mrs. Aleister Edward Crowley, was taken off to a sanatorium for alcoholic dementia by the family doctor and certified insane. She later recovered, divorced Aleister Crowley, remarried and tried to forget the Great Beast 666. ..... also, on September 27, 1923 Norman Mudd took the Oath of Probationer in the AA becoming Frater Omnia Pro Veritate, which means ‘All for Truth.’ ..... I should also mention that Pierre Arnold Bernard died on this date in 1955 at the age of 80. His real name was Peter Coon although he was widely known as ‘Oom the Omipotent.’ He was born in Leon, Iowa, in 1875, the son of a barber, and he followed in his father’s trade in and around Chicago and later in California. He later moved to New York in 1909 and taught Hatha Yoga at his ‘New York Sanskrit College.’ Most historians agree that this enigmatic character was largely responsible for establishing the eastern art of sexual Tantra in America with his Tantrik Order, but where he got his teachings from no one is quite sure. He became notorious throughout newspapers and journals as a spiritual leader and philosopher as well as a philanderer, seducer of women and purveyor of scandalous indecencies. The sister of Aleister Crowley’s Scarlet Woman Leah Hirsig, or Alma Hirsig, was once a member of the Tantrik Order. She wrote an expose on Oom the Omipotent in a book titled My Life in a Love Cult, A Warning to All Young Girls. ..... and for the UFOlogists; two incidences happened on this date in 1996. The first occurred in Punta Palma, Puerto Rico where Nelson Cortes was unable to fall asleep when his younger brother Josue alerted him to a strange-lighted object that had apparently landed in a field behind their house. Upon investigating the site they saw a large rounded UFO with three leg-like supports. The UFO was surrounded by a brilliant red glow. The craft was silvery metallic in color; with a ramp like protrusion extend to the ground. They watched as several short green humanoids exited the object. They described them as thin, with long skinny arms, potbellies, large heads, huge pointy ears, and large dark oval shaped eyes. They all wore tight fitting metallic helmets on their heads. The beings began to walk around the field and at that moment both witnesses panicked and began screaming. The small humanoids quickly looked in their direction and then fled  back into the object, which then closed the ramp, became brighter, tilted to one side then shot away at incredible speed. Neighbors heard the boys scream and arrived just in time to witness the object and lights flying away. And another incendent was occurring near Cordillera de Tajsara, Bolivia, where twenty-eight year old Roberto Suarez Molina was hiking in the rugged mountainous when he admittedly became lost. During the search, air rescue units reported strange glows around the snow-covered peak of Nevado Chorolque, at the western end of the Tajsara Range. Roberto also later reported that he saw the light as it crossed the sky, stopped for a moment in mid-air, and then became red before disappearing. Later, a bright light lit up Roberto’s campsite that he described as being a “tube of light” of incredible brilliance. The tube of light turned from the horizontal to the vertical, then slowly descended, landing on the mountain trail not far from his campfire. Roberto suddenly found himself face to face with a luminous humanoid form that “told him things.” The entity predicted that Roberto would be rescued by the Bolivian air force around noontime on Saturday. The humanoid was right, on that day Roberto was spotted by a Cessna aircraft and was picked up by a helicopter.

Wednesday September 26th 2007 – 5:00pm Click HERE, push nose and watch your spouse's reaction to you asking them to talk about sex and relationships!

12:10pm To my dear friend Robert I wrote: Yes, I haven’t responded to your previous magickal comments and now you write, “my experience is that this always means one of the following... I'm way off the mark and you don't want to waste your time; This has something specifically to do with my Angel so you don't want to comment; You will not discuss things with me beyond my grade; or you still don't understand what I am saying??? but which one mmmmm.”  ... Ah grasshopper, all I can say is that you forgot the obvious. I enjoy watching my students get paranoid!

11:50am Tom writes, "Do men ever write you about sex magick and bitch like the woman seem to do? " ... Answer: NO.

11:20am I received this synopsis from a student named Carl from Illinois. He makes some very good points that I feel others may appreciate. He writes, “There were many things I greatly appreciated about the Introduction to the Book of the Sacred Magic of Abramelin the Mage. First off, I loved the vibe of the scholarly Macgregor Mathers poring over and translating ancient manuscripts in a dusty library in Paris: It’s the sort of thing that brings out the geekiest in us Occultists. Mood thus set, I pondered over the irony that Mathers’ Great Work was very likely giving the greater world this gift of a practical manual that clearly takes one step-by-step towards the Great Work. Mathers cleanly explains a lot of the more subtle teachings of Abraham the Jew in his Introduction:  The most vital, of course, being the lines which I have virtually memorized from CORNELIA… Man is the middle nature and natural controller between the Angels and Demons and to everyone is assigned one of each of the above. Which one of them controls us and which we control… That’s entirely in our hands as our human birthright, and the more aware we become of the situation, the better. I also really liked that Mathers addressed the idea from the book (pg XXX) that other forms of Pentacles and Sigils (e.g. The Key of Solomon) and so forth were to be discarded as corruptions and inaccurate. This dovetails very nicely with the idea of using only one’s “Mother Tongue” for the conjurations. I have to agree:  It does make a lot more sense to know what you’re doing rather than grope blindly in the dark and hope that the effect expected will come about anyway. It also makes waaaaaaaay more sense to establish a sort of permanent  conscious/subconscious relationship with one’s Daimon instead of making repeated, occasionally unsatisfying sorts of one-night-stand situations where one addresses a small (perhaps symptomatic) problem instead of grasping the Great Work right by it’s roots. I liked the section about how changing religions can put a damper on one’s Abramelin Operation due to the simple principle that denying any one part of the Divine will have it’s repercussions, despite how damaged, flawed and mutated it may be from it’s original source inspiration. The thing I think a lot of Crowleyites forget is that Thelema doesn’t really “denounce” Christianity. In theory, it claims to have superseded it. By my reckoning, it’s all in the same continuum and though I may find the viewpoint of the majority of Christians very strange and simplistic (almost childlike, in fact) I still feel like I haven’t denied my humble beginnings, or that my beliefs will have a negative impact on the Great Work. In closing, I was very glad to have this Introduction pointed out to me: I would’ve tended to ignore it in lieu of the rest of the book. It’s been a very firm basis from which to understand the concepts important to the Sacred Magic."

9:20am I knew my 8:40am entry of the 24th would stir up trouble. Yesterday morning I received quite a few emails; one of the more amusing ones came from Jerri. I think she summed up everyone’s views quite nicely so I’ll address hers here. But admittedly, after reading her email, I dropped my head down and knew that I would need another cup of coffee before continuing. Talking about sex is one of those subjects where I often write tongue in cheek, more often than not trying levity. It is because there are jokes that fly privately between men of those foolish enough amongst us who try to talk openly to woman about sex and who then find themselves with their arm down the throat of a lion. Women seem to love to tell men in such female magazines as Cosmopolitanetc about the problems with men, what ‘we’ are all about and etc, etc & etc but Gods forbid if the tables become turned. After about three years into my twelve year relationship with my ex-wife I stopped talking or trying to teach her anything related to sex magick because she would ‘immediately’ argue that she knew all about men but men know nothing about women and my views on sex magick are completely wrong in this regards. Anyway, no matter what I tried to allegorically discuss or Qabalistic elucidate upon she would always lower the subject to the lowest common denominator of a man & a women [i.e. us] in every day mundane life. She could not understand that men can talk openly about sex magick and have no problem keeping the conversation allegorical while trying to understand how it relates to themselves privately but women, on the other hand, ignore the allegories and immediately make the subject personal and reduce it to ‘them’ ... of course I know that I just stuck my other hand in the lion’s mouth with that statement! ... Anyway, Jerri’s email is priceless in this regards while being 100% correct; so I’d thought I’d share it with my readers. She writes, “I was wondering if you could elaborate on a couple of statements made in Monday's blog: "But sadly, arousal of the male by the female is no longer carefully taught within modern phallic schools because ‘Puritanism’ has crept into these Orders like a slow moving fog across the San Francisco Bay!" Clearly you must be talking about much more here than what I feel happens much of the time--regarding the "double standard" that exists between men and women, oddly enough, even within occult organizations...which brings me to this question asked of you: "do need I be a slut, or a whore” to be a proper vehicle to “drive men wild and crazy?” ...What does that even mean? What is the definition of a whore or a slut...and why don't those titles get attributed to men in such a derogatory manner? Is it the sheer nature of our sexes...ie the "force" of men and the "form" of women which seems to suggest that men are supposed to go out and propagate the entire world with their progeny while women should just wait quietly to be taken--discreetly and from behind (a jab at many a male desire to have a "whore" in the bedroom, but a "lady" to take home to mom...) and then raise all of the all children happily and graciously? I suppose it's is true, on the one hand, like everything else, but isn't the whole point to balance ourselves--as you have suggested, we are opposite halves of the same whole, right? Every man and woman is a star! If women need to sleep several men to do that, shouldn't that be welcomed and encouraged?...Why are so many men so intimidated by that? Perhaps I am ranting more about the fact that if women behave freely with our sexuality, we aren't respected, for some reason--even by EACH OTHER!! Why have we bought into this whole Christian guilt bullshit? I know it's an insidious little bugger, but damn, aren't we trying to upraise our consciousness? As far as the arousal of the male by the female goes, I'd love to open a dialogue about that! What the hell is it that men want anyway? I hear that it is sex, food, and happiness...maybe a little beer. Dear Lord, can it be so simple...!!??? If so, we women can barely understand it...as we are the "complicated" and "difficult" creatures that we are. You are quite right in saying that "the Gods curse any man who dares to tell a woman that she’s no longer ‘arouses him’ and you’ll be met with immediate angst that she’s OK, it’s all the man’s fault for sexual failure!" I don't know that I think that is purely a female response...in that if a woman starts "complaining" about a man, she is often times met with much resistance as well. It is a very typical response, in both sexes, to fight against (deny) our perceived (or real) slights...but yes, you are right, how can a man find us arousing when we are miserable, energy draining bitches...crying all the while about why it is our man doesn't "want us" anymore...it seems to be a catch 22... We complain because we don't feel that men listen to us, men check out because we are "bitching" at them all the time... Then we women eat more ice cream, get fatter, bitchier and thus less attractive to the opposite sex--and then men don't want to talk or listen to us at all and only want to fuck us rather than love or respect us...and the cycle continues...and continues... So, how do we bridge the gap between men and women?” .... Answer: OUCH! Damn, she good! Ah, but she asks so many questions which we mortals have been pondering for ages of which there are no easy answers and never will be as long as humanity has free Will. However, if I had to comment upon her questions, I think, knowing the jokes that men talk about in regards to their wives and girlfriends, the answer would be to “lighten-up!” We see woman as forever complaining that men “don’t want to talk” but they don’t realize that men are forever complaining that they don’t want to talk because women “don’t want to listen.” Communication seems to be issue on both sides. Often, from my personal experience in my own life, or watching friends, I wonder how many parents ever taught their children how to properly ‘communicate.’ It seems few people realize that it’s a two-way street of talking and listening while accepting each other’s diversity of thought even if you disagree. In other words, you don’t have to agree with each other! It’s OK to think and be different. Remember; trying to ‘convince’ anyone that your view is 100% correct is ‘insecurity.’ Allowing the other person to be right in their regards, while admitting it’s not right for you is what Thelema is all about. But it seems more often than not in a relationship communication means trying to convince your significant other that you’re right. This always STOPS the other person, male or female, from wanting to talk. Why bother if they’re always wrong and if they simply feel their spouse is trying to convince them of something that they don’t believe in? This is a complaint I hear time and time again from men. ... One of the greatest flaws that I see woman doing, especially in Thelemic communities, is looking at how they can ‘change’ a man. This topic is almost never, never heard uttered from the mouth of a man. In fact, through all my years, with hundreds of male friends, never once have I ever heard one of them say how they want to change their girlfriends. But woman want to do this all the time. They latch onto a man and immediately try changing or ‘mothering’ him. I personally have yet to find one women in all my years that does not do this either consciously or unconsciously! But I believe in this New Aeon we must all learn that everyone, both male and female, is an independent Stars which has Laws that are different in their universe than their spouses. We can longer ‘merge’ or ‘mold’ in both thought and action. That is the Key to relationships in the New Aeon. ..... Anyway, my comments of the 24th dealt more with modern OTO teachings than anything personal between a man and a woman. I come from the old school under Grady where things were different. I have watched the OTO mutate under Breeze and Scriven who have reduced the Order’s teachings to a Puritanical nature where magick both of a sexual and practical level are put onto the back burner. My previous comments tried to explain that in the present atmosphere the topic of sex magick is almost impossible to discuss because it is often reduced to mundane relationship and in a way, all the emails that I have received from different woman, only prove it. ... And finally, to digress, thank you Sally for your comment in your email of the 25th but I don’t think it’ll fit.

Tuesday September 25th 2007 – 12:45pm I received this little gem from Luna. She writes, “Reading Grady's bio (much like reading a book by Alan Watts, or Timothy Leary, of Robert Anton Wilson, re-connected me to the more base way that a person learns. ... It somehow showed me that how we "did it" back then, was still pure in a lot of ways. .... As Above So Below. ... I am of the ilk that if a person is connected to a type of spirit that that spirit should somehow manifest here on earth. ... and I was not seeing any spirit manifestation that seemed to be strengthening people's confidence in their base selves ... they seemed less confident about making daily decisions about common day to day life needs. It was as though the world had turned into a real life John Carpenter film the likes of "They Live". ....so....in a nutshell what I got from reading about Grady....well, it just plain grounded me out again ... and made me SMILE! and made me laugh ... and put me back in touch with my "psychedelic" side ... which IMHO should indeed loop a person back in touch with regular day to day common sense .... not getting swept away into some mind controlling miasma of not knowing if any of their actions were going to create results .... which then causes people to do elaborate strange civilized consumptive things, like buy new accessories, perfumes, charms, lash lengthening mascaras, perky summer wear,  and different appeasements for a variety of gods and goddesses who are just the large corporations of mass economy and not living breathing spirits who should help you make it through a work-a-day day. Reading about Grady, just helped me understand what it was that I was seeing when I came back into the counter-culture after being undercover in the Suburbs for eleven years. I do believe that I 'have it' now...."   

11:45am Little things often amuse me: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fucking,_Austria

6:15am  In regards to yesterday’s entry of 8:40am Kath writes, “Although you are entitled to your opinion I still don’t think you understand women unless you are born walking in my shoes but I do agree with you that men are dogs!” ... Thank you dear Kathleen. Woof! Woof! Anyway, I agree, a man, or any person, will never understand another unless they walk in their shoes for a day but being a scientist of sorts I live by the premise that there are eternal opposites or mirror images of everything. It is believed that the Gods used the exact same blueprint of everything but reversed to create its opposite from the most exalted to the infinitesimal and to study any part thereof on one will reveal, simply by analogy, an identical fundamental principle in the other. In other words, what is a man must be reversed in a woman and vice versa; thus to know one is to know both. This is the fundamental principle of all magick. In this light if I live by the magickal axiom of ‘Know Thyself’ I should be able to at least offer advice on the opposite sex.

5:45am A student wrote me this morning and in his email was this amusing comment which I thought I might share. He writes, "I've been enjoying the blog immensely: One of my favorites was about thinking of the First Gift in terms of what your parents expect from you in relation to their Zodiac sign. Both of my parents' signs are ruled by Saturn (Capricorn & Aquarius) so I suppose I should merely be glad they didn't eat me shortly after I was born."  .... Ah, it reminds me about my own childhood; my father was also a Capricorn, my mother a Taurus.  Both earth signs. I think they tried to bury me. Here is an excerpt from my autobiography. Enjoy:

Since I was born premature I was not allowed to go home from the hospital right

away. Instead I was forced to spend some time stuffed in a tiny incubator. No human

hands touched me, hugged me or held me except through plastic gloves for almost a

month. Fate has it that in August I was finally released into the care of my mother. The

first day home my mother’s entire family, which was rather large, along with numerous

friends and acquaintances came over to see the new baby. It appears that I was placed in

the middle of the bed while being tormented for quite awhile. Finally, after falling asleep, I

was left alone. Food was being served in the other room. I have been told what occurred

next happened in the matter of seconds. When the first person poked their head into the

room to look at me they discovered I was missing. Yes, I had totally vanished. Searching

with concern and tears didn’t immediately turn up the missing child. No one had picked me

up, nor carried me into another room. However, after a few minutes someone decided to

pull the bed out from the wall. It was here that they discovered me. I had rolled and

wedged myself, between the bed and the wall, still wrapped in my blanket. I wasn’t crying

or even making the tiniest sound. I just had this perplexed look on my face with really wide

eyes. The expression is what my grandmother always laughingly described to everyone,

whenever telling this story, as if I was looking up and asking, “So this is my new home?”

Whether this story is true or not, it is a good story. However I personally believe that even

back then I was trying to escape from my mother but, being small, I just didn’t get too far.  

Monday September 24th 2007 – 11:00am Mary, Mary, Mary [shaking my head left to right] ... I love your reply but I can’t print it!

8:40am I received an interesting question from Mary who writes, “I am totally confused with all this sex magick babble. What do you think is the most common thing that most people miss, myself included?” ... Answer: This is easy; contrary to what Woman’s Lib has taught, men and women operate differently on both a physical and a magickal level. And the problem with sex magick for both the female and male is their inability to understand exactly what moves through them and how it functions in diverse situations. When either sex works independently and devoid of the opposite it will forever seek fulfillment or Union somewhere but if it is working together in harmony with an opposite it can move mountains ... but remember, ‘opposite’ is not necessarily a physical opposite. ... However, it is easy for both sexes to shut down. It is harder to face the reality of who is the cause of doing such in a relationship. To understand you must get down to the bare facts; men are dogs! We are easily aroused both visually and physically and if the Gods made us this way, then why? Consider the male phallus like a Promethian lightning rod which draws down the Fire of the Gods.  What is this fire?  Does IT come from the man?  No. IT is the ‘power’ which descends through a woman which a man taps into and transforms! But if the woman no longer has the ability to raise the lightning rod then she’s lost her ability to be a Scarlet Woman and becomes what we magickally call ‘shutting down.’ Remember; a woman is NOT the ‘vehicle’ for her Power any more than a man the source of IT but through her IT comes, through THAT it manifests! What is THAT you ask? Young lady, if you don’t know how can I teach you sex magick? This is all beginning to sounds like a theory from The Book of Lies no? ... Anyway, if the woman can no longer arouse then Aleister Crowley basically tells the man to seek another woman because the ‘vehicle’ is broken. ... This is a major problem within OTO circles; too many ‘older’ women who no longer allow all ‘Power’ to descend through them and rather than stepping aside or learning how to rekindle the Alchemical Fire within the male’s Furnace, they begin thinking that ‘Power’ is simply a mundane talent that they must groom. These women, some now in positions of authority within OTO, more often than not, control the behavior of the Order’s teachings wherein Aleister Crowley, who once advocated discarding worthless vehicles like old clothes, now becomes discarded himself and in this light The Book of the Law can no longer be read out loud because it plainly states what is to happen to the woman, who once channeled 'Power' but closes down and these verses are not easily explained away within modern OTO circles. ..... Mary you also write, “ ... need I be a slut, or a whore” to be a proper vehicle to “drive men wild and crazy?”  Answer: Of course not, each relationship is different and to say otherwise would imply that I know your True Will. If you and your mate want an open and wild relationship so be it or if you want a closed relationship, it’s OK but do not forget that sensuality is an ability to arouse in both cases and within schools fostering sex magick is this not paramount? But sadly, arousal of the male by the female is no longer carefully taught within modern phallic schools because ‘Puritanism’ has crept into these Orders like a slow moving fog across the San Francisco Bay! And let the Gods curse any man who dares to tell a woman that she’s no longer ‘arouses him’ and you’ll be met with immediate angst that she’s OK, it’s all the man’s fault for sexual failure! This is what happens when woman assume outer ‘power’ upon shutting down. They become as men! .... OK readers, you can send your hate emails to Cornelius93@aol.com.

7:45am ... late in the evening on the 23rd of Sept. 2002 I received an email from Frater Sabazius where he wrote, "Jerry, 93 I found the following paragraph in the essay on the Pentagram Ritual on your website.  Seems to me you could discuss the symbolism of this significant word without stating -- publicly -- that it is the Word of the O.T.O. Minerval and VII Degrees.93, 93/93 Dave." He then quote the offending passage - "... the path which is most crucial at this stage is known as Art, or Alchemy. It is the final ON as taught in Seventh Degree OTO. In Epistle No.7 of The Magickal Essence of Aleister Crowley, Understanding the New Aeon through the teachings of the Great Beast, which is titled An Open Letter on obtaining the Knowledge we stated, "There are other Mysteries too Divine to be openly discussed in this particular Epistle but I will tell you this, Crowley has stated that the Minerval Word of ON works within The Devil card and is fulfilled in its final alchemical stage when an individual enters the Hermetic Triad as a Seventh Degree whose Word is also ON." And on the morning of this date, September 24th I replied:

Subj:Re: Check this out

Date:9/24/2002 7:16:43 AM Pacific Daylight Time

From:      Cornelius93

To:   Topaz

Dave 93!

What no pleasantries? No personal hellos, no "How are you and the family", or

even a brief "What's new?" etc & etc?  So you want to be just plain blunt and cold.

Here it is back at you and very clear. The particular quote is directly from Red Flame

No 7. It was something NOT in question at my lynching under the guise of being an

OTO Grand Tribunal and it was NOT on the list of pages which were requested

edited, nor what HB requested removed while he was at my house and this particular

piece on the Pentagram Ritual has even been up on my website for 'years.' ... I think

you and the OTO should get over it. I edited what was requested of me, and a little

more ... I will edit no more.

93 93/93 Jerry

Saturday September 22nd 2007 – 4:50pm Luna writes regarding Mick's comments upon El Topo - "yep, he's spot on!"

3:30pm John writes, "I dreamt of burning rabbits last night!!!! What an odd, entertaining movie night -thank you for the experience."

10:30am Last night was movie night at my old apartment and we assembled to watch Alexadro Jordorowski’s EL TOPO (1970). If you’ve never seen a Jordorowski movie then I feel any and all descriptions would be lost on you. But Mick sent this brilliant little blurb this morning about the movie. He writes, “After my head cleared from all the double chocolate stout served warm in Sherry glasses, I figured out what I learned from watching El Topo last night. 1. Dig. Dig. Dig.  2. Avoid the Society of Decent Women.  3. Never let a dwarf do your hair. 4. Keep digging. ... and, oh yeah ...5. If it comes down to the dwarf or Bigfoot, toss the the dwarf.”  ... I read this, sat back in my chair smiling and thought to myself, “Ah, a man who paid attention to the movie!” My readers may not understand the humor but Mick is 100%  on the money!

8:20am While reviewing my diaries I came across this gem of Cornelian thought from Friday March 21st 2003, 4:25am. I wrote, “Odd thoughts creep in while thinking about my life & etcs; my mind is a terrible thing to waste. Let’s say the Bible thumpers and the evolutionists are BOTH correct in that we did slowly evolve over millions of years from an early primate or monkey to the human form that we are today but on the other hand, we were also made in God’s image. I know the ancient Qabalists always drew the image of God on the backside of a giant heavenly image whom they referred to as Adam Kadmon; the primordial man or the image behind the germ of all creation. A second or identical image of the Qabalistic Tree of Life was drawn upon the lesser Adam (humanity) who was created in his image but now I wonder; if we go back far enough to the evolutionary roots of humanity to our earliest ancestors should we not be saying that God is really a monkey and if so, what are the Qabalistic attributes of his ‘tail’ on the Tree of Life? Maybe I opened up a can of worms better left alone?  I might have to draw my next Tree of Life on the image of an ameba. Yes, I think too much.” ... all I can say is that it was early in the morning and I most likely needed more coffee to kick start my little brain.

Thursday September 20th 2007 – 1:40pm My friend Phillip sent an interesting email. He writes, “I have just read your book on Crowley and the Ouija Board. I really liked it, I had no idea that the ouija board was anything other than a game created in the early 20th century. I had developed an idea before reading your book for using an ouija board designed for a specific planet in hopes of limiting contact to those entities under that planets rulership. I have a couple of examples you can see at my flikr page. http://www.flickr.com/photos/frater_grandis/590100318/  Have you heard of anyone using this method and if it were successful or not?  I'm just guessing that you know many people involved with these boards and may have heard of or seen something similar. I think the system you present in the book is better since you can dial in exactly who/what you want to communicate with.” ..... Answer: Remember, from a magician's point of view, simply putting sigils and symbols on a board doesn’t guarantee that said entity will descend; otherwise every magickal book which reproduces sigils and talismans will be summoning down entities through them. You still need proper evocations, ritual and Temple requirements. However, by putting sigils on the board you are automatically ‘limiting’ the type of entity and ritual which the board can be used for. Also, the board design that you have is identical to the ‘Aleister Crowley Ouija Board’ that was distributed a few years back; it too being circular with letters around the perimeter. It was an utter failure of a design; being impossible to use. I know because I not only own it but have tried using it. On the standard Ouija board the letters are usually in the center because the triangle needs room to move and it often does so very rapidly. I found, with the letters around the perimeter, that the triangle was forever going off the edge of the board which stopped the ritual and continually broke concentration. Always remember, the triangle needs complete ‘spinning room’ around the letter. Still, I'm not complaining, the circular AC Ouija Board makes for a nice wooden tray for carrying wine glasses.

1:00pm I received this blurb from a dear friend Rey in New Mexico. He writes, “I have been reading the Blog everyday and always enjoy the snippets from the 'Fringe Datebook' and your views on the Great Work.  I think many are benefiting from your 'Work' and words .... they definitely have given me many moment of pause and meditation.”  

10:30am A student writes, “I once again ask about your experience with fear during deep spiritual work?  You mention anger as a significant block I would guess fear is another. The mind is very tricky.” ..... Answer: Anger is a stumbling block but without Pachad [fear], according to the Qabalah, you cannot find God [i.e. Self]. It may not seem so but fear is considered one of the greatest spiritual assets of humanity. Why are children more accessible to the invisible world than adults? [Read the intro to The Sacred Magic of Abramelin] ... It is because they ‘fear’ ... with age we lose this ability or rather we naturally vanquish it in order to become hardened to the world. We must learn how to vanquish it correctly!  It is not called a double-edged sword for no reason.

10:28am I received this OTO related blurb: “If I may, what did the O.T.O. have to offer early initiates- pre-Crowley's pervasive and inspired influence- by way of sex magick instruction? Naylor's book seems to indicate that it was mainly a theoretical ideology before Crowly's grade papers. However, Crowley seems to have taken strongly to the society. At least at one point he refers to the great teaching he acquired from Frater Merlin and his School. Crowley own upper degree papers as published in King and Naylor are reference in his published journals as being somewhat revealed from his work with what he ultimately codifies in the instructions. Did he indeed learn something from Reuss and apply it in conjunction with his already extensive knowledge and experience of magick?  What marked early initiate movement into those grades beside political favoritism? what were those beacons of light of Agape lodge working towards?” ..... Answer: Like many people, you reflect on history while reading it rather than living it. If you simply read Crowley’s writings without reflecting upon the period in which they were written you’ll forever be confused. In Victorian England and Europe, many people were becoming affixed by ‘phallacism’ as if dirty little school boys where giggling at a tower over its ‘hidden meaning.’ In other words the penis was being seen everywhere. In this reflection people started to realize the unconscious drive of humanity and it is this reason that the OTO’s sex magick is a great misnomer. There is no great ‘practical’ secret as much as merely the realization of humanity’s under-belly since day one while it tries to conceive a conscious method of utilizing the penis' energy. But the methods are related to a Victorian mind-set!  Anyway, I wish everyone who thought that this Order ‘really’ holds secrets would study in-depth its history, it's leaders and the historical period in which it emerged. Since Aleister Crowley wrote the Upper Degree Grade Papers almost a ninety years ago have there been any obvious use successfully of this magickal system or is it all simply theoretical? Why do you think the OTO is often called a 'closet' Christian organization?  This is because it's a 'phallic order' filled with dirty little school boys who fondle themselves behind closed doors while hoping to find God!  I think a ‘dah!’ is in order.

10:22am This comment came in from a student who writes, “I remember a definition of magick offered by Novalis ‘Magic is the ability to use the senses at will.’ Thus your appeal for the magician to learn to use imagination in a particular way? I note that in the first two moons visualization is strongly used and as you know it is attributed to fire. Is there something in this related to the ordeal of fire and that fire is now attributed via Tarot to Atu XX, The Aeon, the Law and all it implies? The Law is to transform my vision of the world, my life, the First gift.” ..... Answer: This is a simple one; fire fuels.  In Alchemy no changes occur until the fires are heated. Keep in mind The Aeon card was originally titled Judgment; which reflects the Dweller on the Threshold. Note A Practical Guide to Qabalistic Symbolism by Gareth Knight Vol.II pg.117.

10:18am Here is another interesting comment from a student. He begins by quoting Peter Gabriel’s song Digging in the Dirt - "The more I look, the more I find. As I close on in, I get so blind I feel it in my head, I feel it in my toes I feel it in my sex, that's the place it goes." ... and then you add, “Indeed this is where it goes with me. I recognize a monastic aspect to my personality that has always been present and in conflict with another aspect that is very stereotypically Scorpion in its nature. The Sexual teaching in Thelema I find offers my soul the potential for the reconciliation of this conflict, but I'm not certain how I might be able to utilize the tendency of my mind to seek out pleasure in order to avoid the longing that seems so ever present as I sail the pain of my past life course.” ..... Answer: IT IS ALL SEX! From flowers, to animals to people; it’s all a mating game. The problem with humanity is that it’s always trying to rise above its instincts as if God screwed up and made us flawed. All our Zodiac signs do is reflect the nature of our vehicular approach toward ‘opposites’ both inward and outward. Some signs are shy, others romantic, others are simply driven blindly. However, what you actually ask is impossible to answer without knowing the intimacies of your life and its struggles because it implies outward sexual impulses and how you might utilize them to conqueror internal struggles and vice versa. We are all different and ‘Know Thyself’ doesn’t mean that there are easy answers that can be given by others.

10:15am I received this self-reflection from one of my students who writes, “I find myself hitting a psychological wall where I slack off severely on the momentum that provoked much dreaming just weeks ago. I see this as part of the resistance of facing the emotional content of my past once again. I note sudden gaps in my memory and a tendency to focus on the heightened emotionality of my adolescent years. While I seem to be able to visualize some infant and adolescent memories quite well that total space in the middle seems hollow. I have to ask you about the fear that can seem to accompany this practice and how you've worked with students experiencing it?” ..... Answer: Qabalah teaches us that we have perfect recollection but Psychology on the other hand teaches us that this not necessarily the case. It claims that we tend to remember our childhood as we want to see it, not necessarily as it actually was. These are clues to the type of seeds planted in our adolescence that were required in order to influence our lives and as magicians we must unravel that memory, face the phantom and groom the Tree more to our liking. It is not easy. Israel Regardie said it best in The Middle Pillar by writing, “... Psychology and Magic comprise in my estimation two halves or aspects of a single technical system.”  I agree. In magick, as in therapy, harsh memories can often produce a ‘run away’ affect. At this point I should mention the infamous Dweller on the Threshold which is often greatly misunderstood. It is originally a Theosophical phrase used as an embodiment of a person’s unresolved complexes or unbalanced forces. Let me give you an example that you might understand. The majority of H.P.Lovecraft’s characters are all confronted by an evil so hideous that the hero devotes much of his time and energy fleeing from it. Does he destroy the evil? Not really. He simply escapes and takes flight back to the safely of his little mundane world while the evil is allowed continual existence in the darkness. The evil represents everyone’s Dweller on the Threshold and sooner or later, as we venture deep back into our minds, we will once again be confronted by unresolved issues. How do we vanquish this fear? Each individual is different. Each individual fears different things. I once dated a girl who had an utter fear of worms. Kinda silly no?

I’d like to remind my readers that tomorrow is my movie night at my apartment. I will be showing Alexadro Jordorowski’s EL TOPO (1970)! His biography refers to him as a “philosopher, scholar in comparative religion, playwright, director, producer, composer, actor, mime, comic book writer, tarot card reader and historian, and psychotherapist.” He was born in Chile on February 7th 1929. El Topo is a Mexican allegorical, cult western movie bathed in bizarre characters and occurrences, maimed and dwarf performers, all with a heavy dose of Christian symbolism and Eastern philosophy. The film is about the eponymous character - a violent, black-clad gunfighter and his quest for enlightenment. The movie takes place in two parts; the first half begins with El Topo, accompanied by his naked seven year old son, being told that he must bury his first toy and a picture of his mother in the sand. During their journey they find a lifeless town with all the inhabitants killed and mutilated, which includes the farm animals. El Topo sets out to avenge the inhabitants. He fights many people from a blind man with a voice of a woman, dressed in only a thong and guarded by a man with no legs riding a man with no arms, to a gunslinger who is some sort of a traveling gypsy accompanied by his mother and a lion to a gun fighting ‘Rabbit Master’ who lives at a bunny ranch. Inevitably El Topo meets up with the ‘gun master’ who is a man who wears only a small loin cloth with ghost gray hair down to his waist. Finally, ridden with the guilt for having killed all the ‘masters’, El Topo destroys his gun and revisits the places where he killed them all. At the rabbit master's grave it turns into flames, the gypsy master and his mother are entombed with a large toothpick pyramid around them, and the blind master's grave is covered with honey combs, while his two servants' grave have become a shrubs. Are you confused yet?  Well, at this point an unidentified woman approaches and shoots El Topo multiple times, giving him a series of gunshot wounds on his hands and feet, much like the wounds of Christ. Of course this is only an overview and a fraction of what has been going on! Even more bizarre is that this is just the FIRST HALF of the movie, which ends with the gunslinger being taken away by a band of strange, deformed people! You’ll have to come over tomorrow night to learn how the movie ends! ..... bring beer, wine and popcorn.

Wednesday September 19th 2007 – 7:00pm Regarding my post of September 14th at 10:30am; I received this comment: "Your response was perfect-exactly what I needed to hear, when I needed to hear it (ahh, the penny...)! Your gentle reminder to look within for the answers is exactly on par with all of the other little clues my Angel has been trying to give me lately...(well I guess all along--I am just listening a little harder these days...) thank you, thank you!" ... glad to be of help.

6:20pm I also received comments reflecting on Liber AL to which I replied, “Your comment about accepting Liber AL vel Legis two years ago but grappling with the third chapter is very typical. Many verses within this chapter are very difficult to consider from a Thelemic point of view and in a twisted way, reek more of old Aeonic thought than new. I have often wondered if Crowley’s Egyptian god attributes to the Aeons were not tainted by his old Aeonic soul; born thirty years before the New Aeon commenced. Remember, Crowley acknowledges only three Aeons which began with Isis (the woman), then Osiris (the man) and presently Horus (the son). He places the last age of Pisces under the rulership of Osiris, a father figure, simply because of the Aeon’s dying god aspect in relationship to solar cults of birth, life and death which flourished during its period. The present Aeon he attributes to the Son or to Horus because of the god’s implications with Liber AL vel Legis. He then gave these attributes to the three chapters in Liber AL vel Legis; assuming Chapter One to be Nuit; the chapter of the mother, reflecting the Aeon of Isis. He then claims Chapter Two is Hadit, the father, and refers to the Osirian Aeon. This would automatically make Chapter Three, Ra-Hoor-Khuit (Horus) the son and Aquarius. .... First, Crowley wrongly interprets the Piscean age to be the Osiris without clearly considering the previous two Aeons  of Taurus and Aries which he lumps under one category ruled by Isis. Lets be honest; the Aeon of Pisces is obviously not that of the father but that of the Son of God, or the Christ. It is Solar aeon or of a God who manifested in flesh upon Earth. Pisces is Aeon of Horus (Ra-Hoor-Khuit), the God of speech. It was Christ who brought forth the message that a God could incarnate in a human body and it is in the New Aeon that every man, woman and child shall fulfill it. In other words, the speech aspect of Horus is in direct contrast to his brother Set (Hoor-paar-kraat), the God of Silence, whose Aquarian message is to go within, discover your own Star and become as Christ was, a Son (Sun) of God. What I am getting at is that if we look at the four Aeons of human evolution we have already traversed three of the four from Taurus, Aries, to Pisces and now humanity is in its final age. This means that possibly Crowley, born almost thirty-years in the old aeon, literally misunderstood The Book of the Law. ... Perhaps he wrestled from the hands of the Gods the magickal lessons of our evolution up to Aquarius. This would imply that the Third Chapter reflects the laws of the previous Piscean aeon which is why Thelemites have a difficult time with it. If this is true, then possibly Jack Parsons was right claiming each one of us must write their own Fourth Chapter when at last they know Nuit. (Babalon) .... I should also point out that the previous three aeons of Mother, Father and son implies that this aeon of Aquarius is actually that of the daughter! There, I’ve said it. I’m a heretic!!! This is not the aeon of a man but the women!

6:15pm I received an interesting comment from a friend who writes, “As a matter fact, I do enjoy your memoirs in Cornelia! I have likened them, not unflatteringly, to a great tabloid or gossip blog like the NY Post (the page 6 of Thelema?) It's also worth noting that you appear to make an attempt to not "slag" anyone, but to present events from only your own perspective. You say what you mean, which is more than many do. There are too many online who hide behind gracious niceties on paper only to turn the dagger in speech. I've also noted those online who try to please everyone and end up pleasing no one. You can not be accused of such activity. What you said in your recent blog post about gossip was insightful. I agree with you that one should not set on paper, nor say aloud, that which one is unwilling to have heard by all in an open forum. ..... I replied, “Glad you are enjoying my rants within ‘Memoirs of an OTO Initiate’ and being from New England I’m well aware of page 6 from the New York Post; which I bought every morning before going to work! Anyway, your comments about me not going in for the kill are very true; I’ve edited the original stories and omitted quite a bit which I felt was no one’s business, nor directly related to the lawsuit story & Thelema Lodge history. I also believe strongly in Liber OZ which states that we have the right to ‘write as ye will’ and in that light, I stand by what I write. I also understand that I can not please everyone and if you get twelve people to walk down a street and then describe what they saw, you’ll get twelve different stories. I accept this and firmly realize that what I write is merely ‘my story’ as I saw it and recorded it.”

Tuesday September 18th 2007 – 8:00am Yes Mike, I feel like I should be charging you two by the hour! [big chuckle here].  I completely understand what is irritating you and can sympathize but you must rise above it and remember that your body is your Temple of God, your Adytum and if your Angel 'is' descending you can shut it off if you focus too much toward Malkuthian issues which are angering you. Anger is one of the first major emotions which blocks an Angel’s descent. Look at your Chart (astrology) and see where your ‘fire’ lies ... these are the keys which fuel actions and emotions and must be put under control.

7:30am A friend writes, “How do I really know if I’m communing with my Angel, what should I expect? My boyfriend claims he’s in touch with his Angel but he’s constantly mad and angry at this person or that. Is this what the manifestation is all about?” ..... I replied: Ouch! I sense something [more personal] going on here beyond the actual question but let me start by simply quoting Israel Regardie: “The outcome of the invocation of the Holy Guardian Angel does not result identically with various people.” In other words, no two manifestations are identical. Regardie goes on to note that the Angel “appears in various manners and guises, according to the individual.” ... and consider this quote by Iamblichus from The Mysteries, “... the gifts arising from the manifestation are not all of them equal, nor have the same fruit. But the presence of the Gods, indeed, imparts to us health of body, virtue of soul, purity of intellect, and in one word elevates everything in us to its proper principle.” ... In this manner it becomes easy to see if a person is really communing with their Angel; pettiness of action and deeds, vindictiveness, anger and hatred toward others regardless whether you are right or wrong portrays a person devoid of spirituality and who can in no way be a proper vehicle for an Angel’s descent. Remember this magickal axiom – “By their fruits ye shall know them.” ... or better still; here are words we all should live by if we’re trying to commune with our Angel: “He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he that controlleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.” - Proverbs 16:32. Tell your boyfriend, whatever is irritating him, to 'Let it be!" ... If he is really communing with his Angel there is nothing that anyone could be doing which should be considered serious enough to jeopardize his Angel’s descent. Remind him; at all times “rise above that which is tormenting the soul” rather than “be lowered to the torments level!” If he is claiming to be a spiritual teacher, he should live accordingly.

Monday September 17th 2007 – 9:00am An issue has come up which I think needs clarification. I thought I made myself clear in my entry of august 14th but in hindsight I guess not. Anyway, we continually get individuals writing us who have joined another AA lineage and who have gotten disgusted with it over a period of time. The reasons vary but they write us asking if they can ‘switch’ lineages. In theory, if they haven’t raised up the Tree of Life off Malkuth this is possible but once vertically off Malkuth it is nearly IMPOSSIBLE! Let me reiterate something from Liber LXI vel Causae again where it clearly states - “Listen, we pray you, with attention: for once only does the Great Order knock at any one door.” In other words, once you have risen up within a given branch of the AA you are karmically stuck in it for life. The logical if not mundane reasons are also obvious why switching lienages is difficult and it's because the teachings are different in each lineage or branch. As an example; a person in our AA within the Qabalistic sphere of Tiphereth is as different as day and night from a person in the same sphere within another lineage and vice versa. We threw out many of the odd requirements which Aleister Crowley initially incorporated because we felt they were old aeonic. We mutated and changed to conform to The Book of The Law which makes an individual in our lineage all but impossible to claim the exact same grade in, let’s say, Bill Breeze’s AA. In other words, the diversity of schools within AA makes it unfeasible for it to be ‘generic’ anymore; which is the beauty of Thelema. There are now many paths up the Sacred Mountain. ... Anyway, a person within the first stage of The Lover Grade in our lineage almost immediately works out of the three spheres of Hod, Netzach & Tiphereth or the Lower Self [balanced between Left & Right Pillar] in quest to put their Ego under control. Oddly, this implies that they can claim 'Tiphereth’ but in Truth, within other AA school, this is 100% not the case. Still, as an example; if a person in our AA can prove, despite our curriculum, that they can still do all the old AA obligations set up by Aleister Crowley, I would acknowledge, and I’m quite sure Bill Breeze would too, that a person has risen up to a certain sphere. All they would have to do is begin by reciting their chapter out loud of Liber Cordis Cincte Serpente vel LXV followed by performing all the old AA obligations found in Liber Collegii Sancti and “Success is thy proof.” (AL III:42).

8:50am HAPPY BIRTHDAY MR. BENJAMINE HANCE!

Sunday September 16th 2007 – 7:55pm I received this comment from a student. It has great info to pass on to my readers. He writes, "Are you familiar with genograms? They are a psychological tool that are meant to show the dynamics of relationship on a family tree in addition to generational lineage. I have recently decided to elaborate my knowledge and use of them in conjunction with tackling The First Gift. I have found it strikingly useful. There are computer programs available to assist downloadable from the web with all the details. www.genopro.com/genogram is the program I am currently using.  Looking at the maps of the emotional and social relationship between myself and my parents, and my parents and their parents, really helped me get what Hillman says about necessity. A death in the family can have an impact that last several generations. Who knew?" .... Reply: Ah, I love it when I learn things!  Thanks!

11:45am This is a poem I'd like to share with my readers. It was sent in by a student & is titled 'Elemental I.'

I heard something I wished to see

I saw something, some. . . thing

I tasted IT on the wind

IT smells like Her

I did not hear Her approach

Before She touched me

Hu, IT makes me shiver.

--Emigratus 2007

11:00am I received this interesting thought in an email from one of my students: "Today it occured to me that Will and Resh work togethor to nuture us; and then related that back to the "ecstacy of the spirit" and "joys of the earth"... one feeding the seed and the other our bodies or the veihcle.  When we do these rituals we are communing with our angel from the highest to the lowest and both are constant reminders of the great work and togethor aid us (along with our journel) in "clearing" the astral waters and balancing the elemental tides. In truth anytime we do any affirmation to do "our will"...no matter of the time of day or the circumstances... we are alligning ourselfs, to some degree, with our true/higher self.  As the tides are always present even when we perceive them not "as is the sun our father"... I guess what I am saying in a nut shell is that I now see Resh and Will as two sides of the same coin each doing it's part to nuture and fortify me. These effects are subtle in charecter but not so in their affect! It's one of those things that must be experienced to fully relate to. Much like the journel... the "why" is often difficult to express but if you just do it!! then results surely follow... somehow my new found love of Resh is now inspiring my Will...as if Resh calls down the Angel; Will feeds the Angel (fortifies the veichle) and the journel purifies the astral waters that your Angel descends through."

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