An
Open Epistle
on the Attempted Expulsion
of Frater Achad Osher 583
(J. Edward Cornelius)

or
"Hymenaeus my ass, he's acting more like a Hymaniac!"
       Kalil
   
NEW INTRODUCTION

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. - AL I:40.

It has been almost ten years since issues arose within Ordo Templi Orientis where one particular AA lineage denied the existence of all others claiming that it, and it alone, was the 'true' AA. This Epistle was begun in the summer of 2000 and details the saga of how this arrogance unfolded and ended. It was presumed lost, along with its follow-up Epistle, when our old AA website known as Red Flame was deliberately attacked in 2006 and parts destroyed by a newly made Sixth Degree OTO Initiate. Just recently it was located on an old computer disk and we are proud once again to offer our readers the opportunity to explore this soap opera. I know that there will be some individuals who might get mad or irritated that old wounds are scratched but they might want to remember those classic words - "Those who do not study history, are doomed to repeat it." Although, so often rewritten or misquote, those words were originally written by George Santayana (1863-1952) as "Those who do not remember their past are condemned to repeat their mistakes." ... In both cases they still hold profound truth.

Equally important, maybe not to some but definitely to members of Grady McMurtry's AA, is this story of the struggle that we endured to preserve this noble man's AA lineage. Had I not stood my ground, along with the late Phyllis Seckler and others, the AA today would be owned solely by ex-members of Marcello Motta's AA and anyone wishing to quote, write or republish anything related to Aleister Crowley's AA would have to ask for copyright permission. Thanks to me standing my ground and challenging the authority within OTO, all AA material is now as our Prophet wanted - FREE to humanity.

This is an important historical legacy for Grady McMurtry's AA and one our lineage should be proud of ...

Love is the law, love under will. - AL I:57
Frater Achad Osher
November 2008


HERE IS THE TRUE STORY:
   
I.

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. - AL I:40.

Some might be wondering why I've bothered to write such a lengthy volume about my felonious expulsion. It's because twenty three years, or almost half of my entire life, has been dedicated to the service of the Ordo Templi Orientis and I think such deserves an explanation as to why it's all suddenly bathing in such tragic circumstances. In truth, you may not be inclined to even care about what you're reading and I accept this with no animosity or snobbery. I've actually written this piece more for myself as a form of a cleansing or catharsis, a purging in order to make sense out of the events, that I might close a chapter on with my life and move on.

I wish to begin this Epistle by telling you a little about myself. I am almost fifty, my name is Jerry Edward Cornelius, fraternally known to the Ordo Templi Orientis as Frater Achad Osher. I have had a strong interest in Aleister Crowley since the late 1960s. In the mid-seventies I began corresponding with Grady Louis McMurtry (1918-1985), or Frater Hymenaeus Alpha 777, the past world leader of Aleister Crowley's OTO. Shortly thereafter I joined the Order. I considered Grady a good friend and personal mentor. In fact, Grady spent time at my house in Connecticut on several occasions. I have always been directly involved in writing, teaching, publishing, or a political capacity since the beginning and have given literally hundreds of lectures within the OTO over the years. I am an historian. I love preserving things for posterity. Thus I write out my story.

In 1977 I was Chartered by Grady Louis McMurtry to run The Frater Achad Chapter OTO which brought Crowley's OTO to the state of Connecticut for the first time. The Chapter was elevated to full Lodge status on April 23rd 1978 assuming the name Brocken Mountain Lodge. My Lodge was No.4 on the National Registry. I was also involved in founding Brocken Publications which ran for six years and distributed Crowleyanity world wide. I published the Lodge newsletter, Hellspawned, A Newsletter of Brocken Spectres. In 1978 Grady personally initiated me into VIIth Degree OTO and the following year I joined his lineage of the AA and rose steadily within the ranks. In August of 1981 I assumed the motto of Frater Achad Osher. On April 22nd 1984 I took both the VIIIth Degree OTO and 8=3 in the AA from Grady McMurtry in Syracuse New York. Sadly, Grady McMurtry died in July of 1985.

On June 21st 1986 I was Chartered to run a Rose Croix Chapter of the BML. I remained Lodge Master and in charge of these bodies for over ten years which is one of the longest terms of leadership for any single body in OTO history. In February of 1987 I established the first Clerk House in my branch of the AA and later that year I stepped down as an OTO Lodge Master in favor of running the affairs of the Clerk House full time. In 1987 I moved to New Orleans where I rented a room at Kalili Oasis of the OTO which was Sallie Glassman's house. Years earlier I had acted as her Saladin and had initiated her into the Minerval Degree. In late August of 1989 I moved to Berkeley California where I now reside. In 1991 I was again offered the position of a Lodge Master. This time I became the sixth Lodge Master of the oldest continually operating Lodge in the world, Thelema Lodge OTO, a Lodge which Grady McMurtry personally founded. I held this position between 1991-1993 and I was also placed in charge of Neb-Het Chapter of the Rose Croix of TL. After retiring from these positions I worked closely with Pangenetor Lodge OTO, whose Lodge Master was my wife, Marlene Elizabeth Cornelius. Originally from New Orleans, Marlene worked very closely with the OTO in that area being instrumental in the development of Kalili Camp through its elevation to Kali Lodge. She and I both published and distributed Crowleyanity under the name Pangenetor Publications. In 1993 we began formulating plans for a larger format publication of 220 pages entitled Red Flame, A Thelemic Research Journal. The following year we released the first issue, The Poetry of Grady Louis McMurtry, to rave reviews. We are currently in the process of producing our eighth issue of this journal. In 1995 I declined a position being offered to me to be in charge of yet another Rose Croix Chapter here in the Bay Area. Shortly afterwards my wife stepped down as Lodge Master and closed Pangenetor Lodge. Since 1996 both myself and my wife became semi-retired from running any outward affairs of the Ordo Templi Orientis. We've primarily devoted most of our time to lecturing, writing and publishing Red Flame and other related materials within our branch of AA. 

What Bill Breeze did not realize when he threatened me with expulsion is that I smiled, knowing it could only be a hollow victory. I had withdrawn my support years earlier. At the time my wife had given birth to a beautiful son, we had just bought a house and life was great. I was totally disgusted with the constant lies and deceit. Especially here in the Bay Area. The spinning of tales, the cover-ups and the infamous 'damage control', all so the lower degrees or outsiders never hear the full Truth. I know about this because as an upper degree I was personally involved in doing it for what I believed was for the sake of the Order. With time I began to feel dirty, almost sadden by what I was doing. I wasn't belonging to a fraternity whose aspirations were dedicated for the future of humanity or the spreading of Thelema. It was all a farce. I got so tired of it all and five years later it seems like it's still happening if not at a more unrelenting and ruthless pace. Anyone who comes forward to question or speak out against what they feel are injustices have their claims loudly disputed and are often called liars. Let's hear it for Frater Hymenaeus Beta's 'fraternal methods of dealing with problems' but, then again, he believes that if you don't follow him, his policies and his interpretation on 'everything' then you're (quote) "an enemy of the Order." Therefore he has the undisputed right to besmirch your reputation if not out right slander you in order to make it seem like you're the 'real' problem and not himself. This is not what I had joined years earlier, when being in a Fraternity meant what it implied.

So, I stopped paying my dues, walked out on the political bull and simply got on with my life. I went into 'hiding' and it's been a great! I didn't officially quit because I still had optimism, possibly silly I admit now in retrospect but deep down inside I wanted to believe that someday the Order might change its destructive ways. Still, I remembered what Charles Stansfeld Jones had written when he walked out on the Order in 1918, "Quite recently I was impressed to resign from the O.T.O. and to withdraw my help in that direction, and having done so, I felt a wonderful calm, and a realization of entering into the Tao." I can attest to feeling this calm. It helped free me to write and all my efforts were thrown into publishing Red Flame, A Thelemic Research Journal. It is fair for you, the reader of this Epistle, to wonder what brought me out swinging if I had already disassociated myself with the Ordo Templi Orientis. What aggravated me and got my blood boiling was not that I was being expelled but how it was being handled. What I wrote in Red Flame No.7, The Magickal Essence of Aleister Crowley, which pissed off Frater HB was up front, open and honest. I never hid in the shadows and threw rocks. His reaction was bathed in slander, lies and deceit. This was then followed by a blatant cover-up, if not a twisting of the facts, so that he could be unblemished while he trashed my name as an enemy of the Order on totally different accusations. No one should have to go through with what I had to endure by a reputed spiritual leader.

II.

It has been wisely said that he who hasn't accumulate enemies, hasn't truly lived or accomplished much in their lifetime. I wish this wasn't true but it does seem to be the case. Red Flame No.7, The Magickal Essence of Aleister Crowley, was met with phenomenal reviews worldwide and sold out within a month. The majority of the letters I received said that although they couldn't agree with some of the material it was refreshing to see new thought in a stagnating Thelemic world. However, there was a tiny bit of negativity thrown my way. You could count all the complaints on one hand with four fingers remaining. It's easy to tell where the foot stomping, crying and petty whining came from or rather who was the disgruntled. He belonged to one particular lineage of the AA, Marcelo Motta's and his name is Frater Hymenaeus Beta or rather William Breeze. It seems that I perturbed his reasoning by daring to discuss a certain sensitive issue in an open forum which he wanted concealed or kept secret from everyone. I let the world know that there are other branches of the AA besides his own. Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxmis culpa, may the Gods forgive me for this ultimate sin of honesty and Truth. Yes, I made it very clear that just because he can put an ad in the back of an Aleister Crowley book it doesn't mean that his is the only AA. However, for the record, I never once attacked his or anyone else's right to exist, as he has repeatedly done in regards to myself and many others. I simply expressed that, contrary to what he would like the world to believe, he is not the only AA.

The first grumbling began soon after I released Red Flame No.7 around October of 1999 but it never really amounted to much, or so I thought. However, friends who were close to Bill Breeze started hearing outright slander upon me and my lineage. Even though they were his friends they quickly informed me of what was being said. It was apparent that Breeze's anger had little to do with OTO issues but remained centered around my discussing of AA lineages. This is a subject which he has repeatedly tried to dispute in order to proselytize his own obsession and be undisputed King of the Hill. In fact, in March of 1997 he made the following comment in an email to another person, and I quote, "We are trying to cure people of this unhealthy obsession with spiritual lineages.'' At the time when I was sent this quote I did not assume that by 'curing people' he was implying plotting to eliminate, by any means possible, me and others, thereby leaving only his lineage remaining in charge of the OTO. Although most people are well aware of Breeze's attacks on other groups and his lawsuits over copyrights, few realized that he has been quietly, behind the scenes, making war on the inner schools. Red Flame No.7 opened up this can of worms for the first time in a public forum. It exposed his under belly, his sensitive spot.

I started to hear through the grapevine that there was talk about expelling me from the Ordo Templi Orientis. I thought, "Over AA issues?" He can't do that. It's bad magick, it crosses the planes and it would inevitably be catastrophic on his behalf. Besides, twenty-three years in the Order had taught me not to get too emotionally attached to anything one hears unless you can substantiate it with facts. Take it all with a grain of salt. Weeks turned into months from when we had released Red Flame No.7 and still absolutely no one called or wrote to voice their concerns about any problems with my publication. I figured that I would ignore the occasional hearsay and believed with my heart that if my fellow brothers and sisters were upset they'd do the honorable thing and inform me of their grievance as a brother to a brother. I believed, that if I was really being expelled, they'd inform me of such in writing, listing those charges from A to Z which warranted my banishment. I believed that our fraternity would always let a person know of any serious infractions so that a person would be able to respond to formal charges and defend themselves with due process as set up by our Constitution. Yes, I once believed in a lot things regarding how fraternities work. But then again, the OTO of today is no fraternity in the fraternal sense. It borders on being a deceitful cult where everyone jumps to the tune of one man rather than following the Order's stated ideals.

The comedy of errors which unfolded in regards to myself can only be summed up as being tragic. The official written agenda of the upcoming Areopagus meeting was dated March 22nd, 2000. It arrived at my house on the 31st. The day after I had posted portions of Red Flame No.7 on Peter Koenig's web site. These were predominantly sections dealing with AA lineages and, contrary to what my suspension letter implies, they did not include quotations from the OTO's initiation rituals. Still, being honest, I knew when I had given Peter permission to post the material that Breeze would not be a happy puppy. It was one thing publishing 156 copies of Red Flame with the information about AA lineages but it's another to make the data widely available for all to read at their own discretion. Yet, silly me, I assumed that if Breeze had a real issue with these articles he would have called me back in October of 1999 when I released the issue of Red Flame. Posting the information on a web site five months later was simply a mute issue in my mind.

As for the agenda itself for the Areopagus meeting, although rumors had persisted that I was being expelled during this meeting, I was not listed anywhere. As far as the OTO Upper Degrees were concerned, I wasn't even an issue. I assumed that this was why I had never been brought up on formal charges and why I never received anything in writing in regards to being expelled. It was all just rumors. With time I learned that I was mistaken. According to my diary entry on April 25, at 3:40pm I received a message on my answering machine. It began, "Hey Jerry 93! It's Tony Iannotti ..." I quickly picked up, in shock. After over ten years what brings him to call? I quickly learned that Breeze called Tony, left a message saying, "I wanted to talk to you about a real emotional issue so you don't overreact." Breeze then went into it, saying the issue is about my impending expulsion on Saturday over the last issue of Red Flame or No.7 & he also sited Koenig's web page and the stuff I've posted on it. Tony also told me that "what Bill was saying did not make any sense as to an official reason." Tony, besides being a IXth Degree OTO initiate is an very old friend whom I've know since the mid-seventies. He belonged to my OTO Lodge back in Connecticut, Brocken Mountain. The reason he called was his concern about what he heard from Breeze. He was shocked. However, his phone call was the very first 'official' communication from anyone in the upper degrees that I was in any sort of hot water with the OTO.

Two days later I received an email from Tony, saying, "I just wanted to drop you a quick note ... Bill did call me yesterday morning about 6AM. We talked about the issue, and his demands are extreme: Pulling the Red Flame, the Koenig pages, and issuing an apology. I admitted that that did not seem likely.  He admits that the main issue is AA, but that it is an OTO issue because the two are entwined in the arguments. He also thinks the timing is suspicious, and does not like your association with Naylor and Koenig." I thought about Breeze's demands and later that day I replied, "Pulling the Red Flame, the Koenig pages, and issuing an apology. !?!?!? ... All I can say is, he's an idiot if he thinks that I'm going to do this. If I did, I'd be crawling the rest of my life." I felt these "demands" were not an attempt, from a brother to a brother, to fraternally resolve an issue. They were loud, aggressive, if not obnoxious wall builders which a true Thelemite would never consider imposing upon another. They were also mandates which no Thelemite would ever agree upon unless desiring to be a slave. Even Tony admitted this. He responded rather quick to my comment on Breeze's demands, writing, "I knew it was untenable when he told me and told him I doubted the likelihood of it. Maybe part of the plan is to request something that he knows will never happen." His statement whispered the divine kernel of Truth about my expulsion. There was no chance for a solution, never was, never would be.

Upon receiving his email I quickly fired back a reply, "Yes, the charges are something which I can not defend myself against. If Bill says the majority issue is AA related, then how can I justify my actions in an OTO trial? This also shows why they haven't issued any official charges in writing. It's very sad that Bill wants to continue this attack on Grady's lienage. It's been brewing behind the scenes for awhile now and I knew it was only a matter of time before it exploded." In regards to Tony telling me that Breeze admitted that the main issue is AA, but that it is an OTO issue because the two are entwined in the arguments, I replied, "Yes, it's been an AA issue all along but he can't touch me here so he's attacking me through the OTO. That is how it's entwined." As far Breeze thinking the release of Red Flame was suspicious, I replied, "It took seven, eight months to get Red Flame into the publisher. It was NOT something I planned on doing deliberately to coincide with Naylor/Koenig & others. It's not a 'BIG' conspiracy. If Bill thinks otherwise, it's his paranoia." And as far as Koenig's website, I told Tony, "... where is the 'official policy' written or published where it states OTO Initiates can not publish anything on Peter Koenig's website or you'll be expelled. ... I'm being expelled for this, first, without every knowing it was an OTO crime which I could be charged with. This is the problem with Bill Breeze and his witch hunting in recent years. At a whim he accuses members of crimes which are not listed anywhere in OTO tenets. People are being blindsided after the fact. Then, they either have to become unThelemic by falling to knees and begging forgiveness in the hopes that they are not thrown out of the Order or they have to remember their IInd Degree Oaths via Liber OZ and stand up for their rights. Rights which are totally un-defendable in Bill's eyes. It's a no win situation."  What I was trying to tell Tony is that Bill Breeze never approached me for an harmonious solution over what he felt was an indiscretion on my part. He instantly made threatening if not degrading demands and then got extremely upset when I didn't comply. What did he expect? I've known Breeze for over twenty years. If the shoe was on the other foot and someone issued those type of mandates to him, with an 'or else' attitude, he'd be as pissed as I was. The bottom line is that a wall instantaneously went up between us and it became a test of Wills to see who would budge first. What Breeze didn't realize was that I had nothing to loose since I wasn't emotionally tied to his OTO any longer.

Let me further elaborate upon Bill Breeze's three demands. I believed his first demand was ludicrous. First of all, Red Flame is an independent publication with absolutely no ties to the OTO. His demands can be summed up by two words, censorship and restriction. He basically does not want anyone to publish anything which disagrees with his fostering mythos or discusses any AA other than his own. Months later Tony Iannotti said that he thinks there might have been a communication error when he said in an email that Breeze wanted RF closed down. He believes Breeze may have only wanted RF7 stopped not our publishing company as a whole. Perhaps, but I disagreed. If Breeze was saying this now it's another classic example of him changing the story. I asked Tony, "Then why make such a fuss over an issue which has been out-of-print for six months?" How can I pull something long gone? It was technically 'already stopped.' It makes no sense to continue attacking me. No, I think Breeze's Ego wanted our company closed down, not just the issue. He didn't like No.6 The Foolish Issue, obviously he hated No.7 The Magickal Essence of Aleister Crowley and being a paranoid, he could only envision trouble with No.8. 

Second, I learned that Breeze feels he is, quote, "at war" with those who do not support his views of world domination, like Peter Koenig. I learned that mere association with certain individuals on Breeze's invisible 'hate list' now meant grounds for expulsion. But where is this list? How was I or any OTO membership suppose to know whom to avoid? I also learned that even if the person was your friend, no matter for how long, if Breeze said that he has now determined that said individual is a threat to the Order you must disassociate yourself with them immediately or else face the consequences. Does the membership of the Order realize what this implies? Instead of trying to determine if anything you've done with the person is actually dangerous Breeze is now spewing forth the blanket charge of he's an "enemy of the OTO." Which basically translates: "I am the Supreme God of the OTO. I am therefore OTO and whomever disagrees with me is my enemy, therefore, an enemy of the OTO." I have watched Breeze's seemingly Caligulian bouts of paranoia spiraling out of proportion over the years. Sadly though, in recent years, if he hates someone then you must hate that person as well and let the Gods forbid if you and the other person are getting together to talk about him and he knows that you are! If I remember correctly, didn't Motta suffer from this dementia? I can only wonder if this is a dis-ease infecting Bill Breeze's branch of the AA tree.

What is sadder still is that if Peter Koenig is an enemy of the Order and I am 'collaborating' with the enemy, then if I'm expelled I too am an enemy of the Order if I continue my contact with Peter. Therefore, any OTO member can be brought up on charges of collaborating with the enemy if they communicate with me even if they've been my friend for over twenty years. It's called spiraling paranoia on Breeze's behalf. But, if they're not brought up on charges, then hypocrisy says, why couldn't I have a friend like Koenig if OTO members can have a friend like me? 

However, what the OTO membership is not being told is that the charge of me 'publishing on Koenig's web site', although valid on some levels, is merely a smoke screen on others. Basically, I can not be accused of releasing AA information on Koenig's web site in an OTO court. So Breeze decided to come up with "conspiring with the enemy" of the Order so that he could justify why he demanded the removal of all my material off Koenig's web site. But, in truth, it was not Koenig's web site that was the full issue but rather what I posted on the web site that was offensive. This was the material from Red Flame No.7 and the information about AA lineages. If I released the exact same material on another person's web site would he still be upset? The answer came back through Tony Iannotti, after he talked with Breeze, that in regards to another site, (quote) "he was not happy, said there were no neutral sites." Although, in all fairness, weeks later he responded that he would let me move all the material to another site if it could only be accessed by my students and no one else. Of course, I declined his gracious if not pompous offer because it was still an attempt to restrict or somewhat silence the Truth. Later, he would do more back peddling on this demand but I felt at that point I couldn't trust him. Besides, Peter and I were friends, why should I be forced to give up a friendship if I wasn't doing anything wrong?

Bill Breeze's third demand, that I write an apology in regards to what I wrote about the AA in Red Flame, is even more ludicrous than his other demands. I won't get into all the stupidity in regards to this but I said nothing which wasn't 100% true and, besides, I was in a totally different lineage. He has absolutely no authority over me to "demand" anything and only a drooling, bug eyed, egotistical pompous ass would think otherwise. Anyway, there could be no compromise at this point because I had no intention of meeting his AA demands in the hope that I might graciously be allowed to remain a humble initiate in the outer school of the Ordo Templi Orientis. I felt that his solution was a self-centered regurgitation of megalomania based upon benefiting his AA lineage while silencing and restricting Grady McMurtry's. 

The Areopagus meeting was held on Saturday April 29th 2000 in New York. It took almost nine hours before concluding for the evening, over four of which were devoted specifically to charges against me and my claims of AA in regards to Grady McMurtry's lineage and other lineages in general. Since I was never notified in advance, I could not give a fair rebuttal or even defend myself. Breeze would later claim [June 5th] that, (quote) "What actually prompted my late addition of the Cornelius issue to the Areopagus agenda, pursuant to the bylaws and with the consent of the members voting, was his collaboration with an open enemy of the OTO, which he engaged in after the agenda was prepared." I wish to point out that yes, the agenda was sent out before my material was posted on Koenig's web site. He is correct here. However, if Breeze was that concerned over my actions with Koenig why wasn't I immediately notified by phone of my indiscretion? Why was I kept in the dark between the posting on March 31st and until a few days before the Areopagus Meeting of April 29th? It doesn't make any sense unless Breeze had no intention of trying to resolve the issue or warn me of Peter Koenig.

Anyway, the Areopagus meeting began with Bill Breeze waltzing in with a loaded gun on AA issues hoping that the OTO would simply expel me with the wave of his hand. He gave a two hour history on his personal views of how the AA and the O.T.O. are entwined. He flatly denied that lineages exist. He explained how both of these Orders were once tightly connected or entwined in Aleister Crowley's time but the connection became broken during Karl Germer's life. The AA went its own way and was being run by one of Germer's students named Marcelo Motta while the OTO, on the other hand, nearly slipped into obscurity. He explained that the Orders are now coming back together under his influence. I think this new version of the story can best be summed up by someone from my lineage who heard the above and replied, "Oh gag me please you blithering minstrel." What Frater Hymenaeus Beta failed to point out is that Germer and Grady were both AA & OTO initiates. Therefore, common sense dictates how could either one of these gentleman loose the connection between the Orders unless they had split personalities? What Frater Hymenaeus Beta was simply attempting to do by using a 'Broken Connection Theory' was to sell his new and improved belief that the AA never 'splintered' into lineages, it just moved away from the OTO. It simply got a new address and didn't write home for awhile. With this belief he tried to dispute the claims made in Red Flame No.7. Now I realize what Tony implied on the 27th when he wrote that Breeze admitted that the main issue with me "is AA, but that it is an OTO issue because the two are entwined in the arguments." All this was unfairly brought before the OTO. In the end, the over all jest of his remarks implies that the 'Inner Order' of his AA lineage decided for the good of the 'Outer Order' (Ordo Templi Orientis) that I had to be terminated from its ranks because I was considered a threat to their authority. I had become an 'enemy from within' when I openly acknowledged that besides Motta's, Grady McMurtry's lineage was also within the ranks of the Hermetic Triad of the OTO. Breeze always tolerated me because my lineage was quiet, never advertising or publishing. Red Flame No.7 changed all that.

Fortunately, members of the Areopagus dealt Breeze a bitter blow which must have really upset his feeble plans. It seems almost everyone present believed that the AA issue should not be dealt with by an OTO body. No matter how hard Breeze argued for the next two hours the majority did not agree. Breeze did manage to convince them that some OTO charges in relationship to Red Flame could be brought up and were serious enough to warrant concern. Still, what distressed the Areopagus was the lack of notice of formal complaint or specifics being made against me if they were going to determine any guilt. They were also worried that the majority of people who were voting by proxy were unable to apprise the issues appropriately in time to instruct an informed proxy vote. This issue has been the bane of the Areopagus in recent years. Bill Breeze waltzing in with ten, twelve or even more 'blind proxies' to do with as he sees fit. Almost padding the Areopagus so even if you disagree with him, he simply gets away with what he wants because of an abundance of votes.

The final resolution was that the Areopagus would recommend to the Supreme Council that it suspend me with proper notice for the duration of a full investigation by a Grand Tribunal Court of Inquiry. I was told that the AA issue would not be heard at my 'trial' and that I would only have to face OTO charges. However, I knew the AA issue needed to be addressed because this was 99% of my real transgression against Bill Breeze. If this wasn't going to be allowed in my defense then what the OTO has effectively done was to allow him to spew forth his foul stench of accusations, slander and lies about me and my lineage for over four hours which goes down in the official records of the Order and then it allows his AA lineage to simply go back into hiding as an 'Inner Order.' However, at the Areopagus meeting, Breeze admitted that his AA undisputedly runs the OTO as a dictatorship and that both Orders are connected or 'entwined' as an 'Inner and Outer' school. He told everyone present that the view of 'lineages' was an outright lie and that his AA is the only true Order. I personally think he made a major blunder by bringing up this issue before a mundane organization as this meant that it could likewise be brought before the court of public opinion. He brought the issue to birth in the outer fraternities and now it's an issue alive on Malkuth. From there it began to take on a life of it's own which is beyond all of our control.

On May 30th, the day after the Areopagus meeting, Tony emailed me around 9:30am, saying "Well, it happened, and it took 9 hours, over 4 of which were devoted to you. They did accept your proxy to me, and I hope you don't mind that I voted against the motion to add you to the agenda with your vote, as I expect you would have wished, but did vote for it with my own, as I thought that nothing should really be done without due process, and was betting on that becoming clear to others during the discussion, and it did wind up that way. The first 2 hours were a sort of history lection from HB on his perception of how AA. and O.T.O. are related. (that they were in Crowley's time, but the connection broke during Germer's and it is coming back together now.) He expressed his concerns about your intent, possibly aiming at the head of the One True AA, and I pointed out that your own writings express the opposite, you argue for peaceful co-existence, and don't say that there is any One True AA. above the others. Others agreed. Almost everyone agreed afterwards that the AA. issues were not going to be dealt with by an OTO body anyway, but there were OTO issues that would be. However, the Areopagus does not do disciplinary actions, so none were taken despite many loud demands that 'This body has to do something Right Now!', mostly because there were others with me who were concerned with the lack of notice and lack of formal complaint or specifics, and most people voting by proxy were unable to be apprised of the issues in time to instruct an informed proxy vote. There were also others who were absolutely out for blood. The upshot is that a resolution was made to the effect that members of the Areopagus are not immune from disciplinary action, but since they are held to a higher standard, in cases of possible need of disciplinary action it is recommended to the Supreme Council that it suspend the member with proper notice for the duration of a full investigation, appointing a Grand Tribunal Court of Inquiry to that investigation. As of last night the SC had not yet met, so as far as I know you are not even suspended yet, I hope you are not disappointed! ;-) You should now at least receive proper notice if and when you are."

Certain people immediately did not want to be on the Tribunal. Some were afraid of being, quote, "Assassinated." I wondered, what prompted this? Tony told me, "That's one of the things that got some people really upset. Koenig has pictures of HB's house in Austin and Marcus' house in Berlin posted on his website, and they have received death threats. I am not really sure of the details, but I got the impression they were ( omitted ) - related, if not directly from him. So posting on Koenig's website made some see you as a collaborator, and they are taking a very militaristic stance. They see the lawsuit as war, and this related." I couldn't believe what I was reading and sadly I replied to Tony, "A 'collaborator' ... the lawsuit as 'a war' ... these are dangerous terms spawning fear and hatred. It's a dangerous road which Bill is taking the OTO down through his paranoia. It reeks of the Black Brotherhood." Tony would reply to this comment by saying, "It really was a little scary how much the OTO as military order came to the fore. I guess they would have shot Crowley during the Great War. ;-)"

I also replied to Breeze's history lection by saying, "Basically this translates as Breeze's (i.e. Motta's) AA is FINALLY admitting control over the OTO." Tony would reply, "Yes, I would say that is true." I continued asking, "... where does that leave the rest of us?  Let's face it, the bottom line is that Breeze is upset that I'm not 'accepting' his claims and instead I'm pushing my own. At least he's now openly admitting that only his AA claims will be tolerated within the OTO. It brings to mind what Sabazius recently said on the Fifth Degree E-List, how no one belonging to certain 'other' organizations will be allowed into Fifth Degree anymore unless they promise to quit the other organization. Those organizations are mainly undeclared, but the ones he did list claim other AA lineages. Now I'm not saying Bill Breeze is wrong with this. It's his right to exclude other lineages." What I was implying by my last remark is that if Breeze was open and honest about Motta's lineage running OTO rather than back handedly trying to eliminate the competition, I'd understand better. Tony would disagree, commenting, "I don't see how the OTO can legitimately exclude people based on their affiliations at all." In some ways he is correct and I told Tony that I felt that the Universe was big enough for all of us. I did point out that I personally think Breeze's claims are bogus from an historical point-of-view. However, I told him that I don't dispute the possibility of Breeze and others could make an AA connection and carrying on a lineage. However, "I reject the notion that one day I woke up and found out I had new superiors who rule the Universe." To this Tony replied, "That's just it, you really don't. New superior in OTO in 1985 yes, but any claims or attempts at taking over AA just don't belong in OTO bodies. That became clear about 2 hours into it. ;-)." I laughed at his optimism, jokingly replying, "Publish this belief and you'll find yourself in hot water too. Bill Breeze's AA runs the OTO. Cut & dry. The OTO [now] dances to those beliefs spawned in Motta's lineage. All the OTO is now basically saying is, Bill, do your dirty work and keep it quiet. On the other hand, we've been trying to force him into the Light, expose his shenanigans as to what is driving his actions."

Many within the upper degrees of OTO have known for years that Breeze's AA runs the OTO and dictates what the official Thelemic policies are for this outer Order. People have tried to deny this, especially the lower degrees in the OTO who think they know better. However, Breeze's AA tells the upper degrees of OTO what everyone should learn and study. It dictates what they are allowed to publish and discuss. Breeze's lineage believes strongly that no one can openly discuss The Book of the Law and, because of such, the OTO is not allowed to publish anything in this regards either. Breeze's lineage also wants to be responsible for teaching magick, therefore, magick is taken away from the OTO and it is no longer openly endorsed within the fraternity. I could go on and on but, in Truth, I think the point is made. Motta's AA, according to Bill Breeze, runs the OTO.

Back to my problems. In regards to Bill Breeze appointing a Grand Tribunal I commented to Tony, "Sadly, even with a Grand Tribunal Court of Inquiry it's already a done deal. It's a kangaroo court. They're going to ask if I accept [Motta's lineage] as the Gods of all the AA and will I deny my own lineage, forsake all my students and get with the program. Effectively what they are trying to do is to eliminate Grady's AA from the Order. I have no problem with that and I accept my fate as long as they're honest with their policies. However, if I must reject my own lineage and bow down to acknowledge Bill's claims or I'll be expelled, what do you think my answer will be? Is this Grand Tribunal Court of Inquiry really needed?" Tony replied, "You would certainly not have to address his AA claims at all. The issue is OTO only, specifically the words in the essays. The stuff that is on Koenig's site is only an issue because it is Koenig's site. The whole universe of this discourse has focused down on OTO issues only, and they have to play by those rules or look really bad. I think if you proposed to distribute the essays only to members (OTO or otherwise, just not public sales) and put your introductory material somewhere else other than Koenig's site, that might be an acceptable compromise to them."

I continued, "I think I should make myself a little clearer on one point before leaving. I walked out 'emotionally' on the OTO awhile ago. I came to the realization that it's an old Aeonic and dead fraternity. I'm not against being a member for fraternity's sake and camaraderie, friendship, etc. But I'm no longer deluding myself that the Order is trying to help humanity embrace the new Aeon & Thelema. In truth, it's not. ... What I've been bemoaning about of late is the lack of fraternal gesture, bordering on cowardism which the OTO has displayed with their treatment of me and its lack of honesty. HONESTY is the key issue. Up to less than a week ago they were denying that my expulsion had anything to do with the AA."  Tony replied, "Yes, they are really scattered, and went way too fast with this with no attempt to talk with you openly. That became clear to the rest of the Areopagus during the meeting, and they are directing that this be handles in a fraternal way going forward. I don't know how many chances you want to give them, this may just be the last straw of many, but I am encouraged to report that they are trying. (Much more than I expected.)" I would reply that "I am willing to try too, but not at the expense of my AA students worldwide. The last straw blew in the wind awhile ago. We must face the harsh reality that we are only going through the motions at this point. What is demanded of me is impossible. I will inevitably be expelled."  Sadly, Tony replied, "I suspect you are right"

Finally, I asked Tony if I was 'officially suspended' or if I'd be notified? He sent me an email saying that I should be notified soon that I was being suspended but, "As far as I know the S[upreme]C[ouncil] has not met, so you cannot yet be suspended." I read this and chuckled, quickly replying, "I'm in Thelemic purgatory if there is such a thing. It's like being stuck in Heidrick's house for a whole weekend."

On May 8th Tony sent me a lengthy email, of interest in it is when he tells me, "I got a message on my answering machine that said that the SC has met and voted for suspension during the inquiry. So you should get formal notice this time."

Thinking upon all the events in play it's easy for anyone to see that since Breeze failed in his attempt at the Areopagus to curb me and Red Flame he immediately began a campaign to bring me up upon OTO charges which could over shadow the AA issues. Let's be honest. If it were just OTO issues which upset Breeze in regards to RF7, as people are being told, then I would most likely have gotten a phone call, been informed of my infractions in October of 1999 and told to cease & stop distributing the issue of Red Flame at once. This type of indiscretion has occurred before and it will in the future. After all, we're only human, we all make mistakes and I'm not exempt from this folly. But in the past these types of mistakes were usually dealt with on a fraternal basis, as a brother to a brother. Open and honest. Talking, letting the person know that they've made a mistake and asking them for the sake of the Order if they'd do XYZ. Everyone would try to work out an amicable solution and only as a final resort, when no other means are available to the Order, bringing it all before a Grand Tribunal. This was never afforded to me. Breeze simply attacked me, made ludicrous demands and built a brick wall.

Still, typical of Breeze's lying and spinning of yarns, he's denying all of the above. He's starting to tell a 'new and improved version' of the whole story to everyone who asks and it's based on the final decisions of the Areopagus rather than what occurred at the beginning when he waltzed in angry over AA issues made public in Red Flame. As an example, to one person he wrote (June 5th) "As for Jerry Cornelius and the Areopagus' handling of that, the facts are misstated. I overlooked Red Flame 7 largely because of its AA content. I initially resolved to tolerate it as a religious opinion, despite my grave objections to the disclosure of OTO degree-sensitive material and my skepticism concerning the timing of its release."  Did he really say that he over-looked and tried to tolerate the AA content in Red Flame No.7?  Some people might say he's deliberately trying to be misleading, others might say he's simply having a memory lapse and still others would point out that, according to the facts, he's out right lying. Of course, he'll deny that he's lying. He's just creatively interpreting the day's events as he wants them now portrayed. However, his words contradict his actions but what else is new? Finally, one last statement on this topic. If "facts are misstated" we know who's spinning the yarn.

III.

Over the next few weeks Tony Iannotti and I emailed back and forth quite a lot. I hadn't heard from Tony in over ten years. It was great to renew an old friendship. We had much to catch up on but our emails seemed cluttered with the recent events surrounding my suspension. Since he was able to phone and email Bill Breeze he thought it might be to every one's advantage if he could act as a go-between, hoping to deflate the whole issue before it totally blew up and get people talking. At the time I thought that was a good idea.

On May 11th I sent Tony an email regarding some further thoughts on this imaginary 'war.' I wrote, "... as I see it, There is NO WAR! This is pure illusion spawned by a paranoid megalomaniac who is THE person doing all the attacking, if he hasn't noticed." Tony replied to this comment saying, "There is a lawsuit. They are silly and dramatic calling it a WAR, but there certainly is a legal struggle going on." I continued, "I was never notified, or read anywhere that Peter Koenig is an enemy whom the OTO is at war with. Peter and I have had a very enjoyable relationship talking mostly about history. I consider him a friend. Yes, in truth, I did hear that Bill Breeze has had problems with Peter, Bill has had problems with lots of people, but how was I to know it meant that I must severe MY relationship with Peter immediately' or be brought up on charges of conspiring with the enemy? Where is this 'fact' known outside Bill's circle? - Besides, as fraternal brother, if Bill Breeze, or Markus and others honestly believed Koenig is so treacherous shouldn't they have immediately called the second they saw my stuff posted and warn me of this DANGER rather than being so quick to plot, lie and scheme behind my back to expel me as they are doing? - If I remember, didn't we once learn at our Initiation, 'should you ever at ant time encounter any brother in nakedness, poverty, danger, or affliction, and be instant to relieve or succour him.'  Should I go on quoting all the fraternal things these people have violated themselves? Should we throw mud at each other? Let's face it, since the very beginning Bill has not and I stress NOT acted fraternally ... NOW he's making demands on ME to be fraternal. He's got his fucking nerve. I'm so disgusted with him it's unbelievable and you can tell him that."

I continued, "Anyway, If I let Bill dictate as to whom I can and can not talk with, then who next? If Bill finds out I'm writing with Grant's people, TOT or Hoor, will I be ordered to stop? Since I receive Newaeon magazine is this considered 'conspiring with the enemy?' Will this censorship forever be at the whim of whom Bill Breeze is upset with this week? I'd have to alienate myself from three quarters of the known Thelemites in the world to do this. I have to put my foot down and say that the Order doesn't own me on this level.  I am not going to sever friendships. And if they want to throw me out of the OTO for this, so be it." Yes, emails flowed like water. I don't remember what made me think about it, or why but I began to realize that Tony was telling Breeze my point of view. Breeze in return wasn't listening but instead was putting a constant 'spin' on my comments in order to prove his case against me. I began to realize that I had been talking with a friend who optimistically thought he could resolve the whole issue by acting as a go-between. Instead, I found the whole thing one sided. So, with no disrespect to Tony, I sent him the following email on May 12th.

"Tony 93! Please, please do not take this wrong but I've decided that I'm no longer going to assist in my own execution. Any good lawyer would tell me to keep quiet. This is my last letter discussing issues of my expulsion. I know that you are acting in good faith but unfortunately Bill Breeze is not. You're telling him my side but I'm getting absolutely nothing honest, open or fraternal on his behalf in return. All I'm doing is assisting in addressing false 'allegations', which would have been used against me if I had kept my mouth shut (which would prove I am being railroaded) and instead I'm helping him fine-tune other charges so he can 'sell' them to the OTO in order to expel me. There is no trying to 'resolve' the issue amicably on his part. So why am I talking to him? All in all, he should have contacted me at the very beginning, in a fraternal manner, months ago and asked these questions rather than acting in the back-stabbing, low-life, unfraternal manner which he has now engaged in order to expel me. History is going to judge him very cruelly for his betrayal of brotherhood. I hold him in contempt of the very Bylaws of the Ordo Templi Orientis, of which he is not exempt and I formally charge him of the violation of not notifying me in a timely fashion of any charges being brought against me. Obviously planned well in advance, he went into the Areopagus meeting of April 29th and spent over four hours discussing charges against me without ever notifying me in order that I could be present to defend myself. This is treachery, plain & simple. The meeting has been over for weeks now and still I am not formerly charged. Let's be honest, I have been accused, slandered and attacked by Bill Breeze behind the scenes for almost SEVEN MONTHS since the release of Red Flame No.7 The Magickal Essence of Aleister Crowley and posting on Koenig's web site. My good name was trashed before the Areopagus and I have still yet to receive anything in writing nor have I even gotten a simple phone call as a brother to a brother. This is unheard of within the fraternity's history. I would have expected better of Bill Breeze but, in truth, I believe this portrays and exposes the real man for all to see. The fact is, Bill doesn't have a case against me but our Bylaws are such that anyone can be charged with 'something' if somebody in a position of authority, like Breeze, pushes it. Isn't this a clue that I'm being railroaded? Let's face it, Bill's anger and contempt is being fueled by AA issues and NOW, at the last moment, after seven months, with the OTO saying he can't expel me on AA issues in their court, he's trying to justify his anger by thinking up OTO charges, like the questions you asked me regarding what I might have given to Koenig. What is wrong with this picture? Accusing someone & then trying to figure out his crimes?"

In a previous email Tony wrote, "That's why I am here. I am trying to beat back every false, silly, irrelevant and baseless accusation, so that the single real issue can be dealt with in as fraternal and clear-headed manner as possible, for the sake of both you and the OTO which will really look bad if they do what I agree that they are trying to do. You have a good argument against the one remaining OTO issue, and I think they should have to respond to it. If they expel on that, then history will reflect that."  In my email of the 12th I responded, "I fear, no offense, but you're missing the point. By forcing only OTO charges you're falling right into Bill Breeze's hands. The real issues which are fueling his anger are AA related. If these can't be addressed it merely implies that I'm being railroaded, plain and simple and that these AA charges are part of what needs to be "beat back" as part of some false, silly, irrelevant and baseless accusation.  ...  I have decided that if I'm going to be charged with any offense I am immediately going to fire off a formal complaint that unless AA issues are allowed to be addressed I'm going to boycott my own Tribunal. Granted the OTO has no authority over matters AA but Bill Breeze has effectively trashed and slandered me, a fellow brother of the OTO, before his peers. Especially at a official OTO meeting where it is fully documents for all time. This is a serious offense. I am going to demand the satisfaction of hearing his PROOF to the allegations that his AA has got the authority (from where and how) to be the 'only real' AA and that I'm lying in regards to mine. I will demand this in order to clear my name in the official records in regards to the issue of AA.  Remember, it was Bill Breeze who made AA charges against me in an official OTO meeting of the Areopagus, he opened up the flood gate in this forum, not me. I should have the right to address these charges in the same or similar forum. If not, I consider my trial a sham and merely Bill Breeze's attempt to eliminate Grady McMurtry's AA from the Ordo Templi Orientis because it is a 'threat' to his AA's attempt at dictatorship within the Order."

Two days later on May 14th I received an email response to my tome from Tony Iannotti. He wrote, "OK. Since this is painful I'll make it short. You should know by now from the SC that there has been a Grand Tribunal appointed, consisting of Lon DuQuette, Jim Wasserman, and myself. If you wish to discuss it with us you can but we have to make a recommendation to the Supreme Council. You must know that I am your advocate, and what I have asked is simply to better arm myself in your behalf. But whatever issues you wish to raise are your choice, and responding to the  AA issues is certainly open to you, especially since they were already brought up for so many hours. I had been mistaken in trying to brush them aside and apologize for my misreading of your strategy." In truth, I knew that a Grand Tribunal was being formed but I did not know it had been established as yet and this was my first indication that it was. Finding out that Tony was a member gave me a sense of relief but with some misgivings.

I replied to Tony, "This is fair. I was a little harsh, I admit, with my last email when I said 'This is my last letter discussing issues of my expulsion.' I should have had more faith in you. How will the Tribunal be held? Will the three of you be asking all the questions? I want the ability to 'read' a statement, granted it might be verbose and a tome, but none the less I want to begin by making my argument as to the events as I see them. Similar to how Bill Breeze can strut in with his views. I promise not to exceed two hours. (Chuckle, chuckle) I will then give each member of the Tribunal a copy and, from there, we can proceed."

IV

On the morning of May 16th I went downtown to check my P.O.Box and I found a letter from Marcus Jungkurth, the OTO Secretary General in Germany waiting for me. It was my letter of suspension. It was dated May 5th 2000. It began:

"I regret to inform you that the Supreme Council of OTO, acting on unanimous
directions from the recent meeting of the Areopagus, has suspended your membership in
O.T.O. effective May 5, 2000 EV.
The grounds are your flagrant violation of your oaths of secrecy and acts extremely
prejudicial to the welfare of our Order. The causes of your actions are your quotations from
our initiation rituals in your publication "Red Flame", and the posting of such material to the
public website of P.-R. Koenig.
Immediate withdrawal of "Red Flame" and the removal of your articles from Koenig's
website will help your case, and we here formally ask you to do so.
Should you not comply with this request, then pursuant to our constitutional literature
and Bylaws, and in consideration of your rank and years of service to the Order, the Frater
Superior will appoint a Grand Tribunal Court of Inquiry composed of three members of
your degree to investigate, give judgement and report to the Supreme Council and
Areopagus members. Your continuing membership in O.T.O. will be the focus of
discussion.
We trust that you understand the gravity of your position."

When I got home I sent Tony Iannotti an email. "Yes, I received my official notice in the mail this morning that I am officially suspended from the OTO. [As of May 5th] ... Markus Jungkurrth [Secretary General]  writes, 'The grounds are your flagrant violation of your oaths of secrecy and acts extremely prejudicial to the welfare of our Order. The causes of action are your quotations from our initiation rituals in your publication Red Flame, and the posting of such material to the public website of P.R.Koenig.' He continues by saying, 'Immediate withdrawl of Red Flame and the removal of your articles from Koenig's website will help your case, and we formally as you to do this.' He then goes into telling me about my Tribunal who will investigate the situation and report to the Areopagus who will report to the Supreme Council where 'Your continuing membership in O.T.O. will be the focus of discussion.' My views, predictably so, are that the OTO can go take a flying leap off a short pier and I'm being polite. Their demands are ludicrous bordering on censorship, restriction and they reek of the Black Brotherhood."  Tony replied to my remarks by saying, "Yes their demands seem like censorship at their face, but may be satisfied with a compromise that would not limit your speech. We discussed the website move possibility, and only distributing the Red Flame privately could satisfy that issue. (Once a bookseller has them, the case is moot, they know you cannot do a general recall, so only current stock is at issue. But I understand that you don't want to do that, so probably your best bet would be to write them a nice letter back, offering them the tour of the pier, and be done with it. Then you'll be free to submit what you will to the Tribunal to go on record, the ending will be clear."

After careful consideration of Tony's comments I decided to offer the OTO a tour of the pier. I sent my reply to Marcus Jungkurth in a letter dated Wednesday, May 17th 2000, The Sun in Taurus, Moon in Scorpio. I signed it at 7:06am.  It begins:

To all whom it may concern,

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. - AL I:40

There is no Peace, little Tolerance and absolutely no Truth;
Salutations on All Points of the Triangle implies Death;
and there is little respect in the Order.

I stand humbly before the Ordo Templi Orientis, arms outstretched and accepting my
fate. Yes, I have dared to scream to the masses, "I am the Truth and in my Turban is
wrapped nothing but God." Maybe I should be punished with whip & chain. Instead I am
being ruthlessly struck down for this transgression while never once being approach
fraternally by anyone in the last seven months to resolve the issue before it escalated. Now
you make ludicrous and Restrictive demands which no true Thelemite in his right mind
would agree to observe. This tells me that there is little hope that I'll be raised by the Seven
Bonds of Brotherhood. The manner by which I have been treated is slanderous and back-
stabbing which shows me that the Order is not run by true brothers. It's run by treacherous
assassins who throw rocks from the shadows rather than facing the accused as a brother to
a brother or even in the light of day. This is little more than cowardism and I hold you all in
contempt for violating your Oaths. There is no hope or even a desire for a resurrection of
my membership at this point and, in Truth, I will be thankful for freedom when at last you
give it to me. Of that freedom, I shall scream it to the world!

Love is the law, love under will. - AL I:57

As you can see, it sets the tone of how I truly feel. Of course many readers may wonder what the Hell am I talking about? Since people of lower degrees (or even outsiders) love to tell upper degrees how we should act and think, being authorities on our degrees, I believe it best to explain something up front. I took Eighth Degree OTO directly from Grady McMurtry. In one of his many talks with me, he said that being an Eighth Degree I should constantly reflect upon the fundamental principles behind the Order's teachings, study its rituals in-depth and remember that my degree says that I am a Philosopher of our ways. I must continually attempt to understand the OTO's actions in relationship to our most sacred volume, Liber AL vel Legis. Of course, since Frater HB took over he did away with this branch of the Order and reformatted it into something totally different. We are no longer allowed to study or use Liber AL vel Legis in our OTO decisions. Trying to philosophically understand anything in regards to our sacred books is not permissible in the upper degrees. My way of thinking has forever been the bane of the Order under Frater Hymenaeus Beta. But if you reflect upon my letter, rather than reacting emotionally from the wallows of the mundane, you'd realize that it implies that I knew right from the start that my expulsion was a done deal. That the OTO was only going through the motions in order to sell 'something' to the general membership as to why a twenty-three year veteran, the oldest and most senior Eighth Degree member was to be expelled. However, Breeze did not like the attitude of my letter. He had hoped that I would play along with his silly game, keep quiet and simply let the expulsion go through with little fanfare but I refused. I felt that it benefited no one but him.

V

We must thank Soror Agnes Oleander for stirring up my AA lineage on the Internet. In an email she posted on Thelema93 on April 17th titled 'Clearing False Data" she responded to a previous issue by stating, "I'm dying to see what's going to happen with the Fraternity aspect of the OTO. Will the Brethren stick together, in defense of Liberty, and fight as Brothers, or will they quietly allow their long-time brother Jerry Cornelius to be expelled without a fight?" It seems some people were interested in me but most didn't know who I was. Over a week went by and on Wednesday April 26th, Kalil, a member from my AA lineage, posted an update on Thelema93, calling it "Jerry Cornelius ... expelled?!" Kalil thought, since people were asking about me, give them information. This issue took off and Kalil began posting numerous updates. Almost a month went by and things seemingly died down. Then someone from Europe posted a brief plea, "Can anyone send me information about the expulsion of Jerry Cornelius from cOTO?" Kalil responded on Monday May 15th with a lengthy tirade about the injustices which I was incurring and for the first time the issues of AA lineages was publicly aired and Kalil even discussed at length what transpired at the Areopagus meeting with the shenanigans of Bill Breeze. I thought it was all fair. However, bringing up the issue of "lineages" in a public forum would piss off Bill Breeze even further.

In one of my previous emails I joked with Tony Iannotti how I've greatly enjoyed receiving his 'letters' because they "spark my verbosity much to Bill Breeze's dismay no doubt." I continued, joking how Breeze "hates having things put into writing which reflect badly upon himself." When Tony finally responded to my comment on the 16th he said, "Yes, funny you mention that, someone quoted a letter from you where you repeated my description of the Areop. meeting, and the haggling we've been doing. That has really stirred up the pot." In the same earlier email I had also hoped that the Tribunal would be, "Fair and honest choices" Tony replied, "It's up to us and you to decide, but hopefully not until we've met in person. The recent tlemea93-l posting has Jim and Lon wanting to close this post haste." Of course he was referring to Kalil's posting. In his next email he continued this theme by saying, "I think that if you want to get your say in, you should see if your student's student will be quiet for a while, as it's making JW and LD so angry, they just want to ask questions, take the answers, deliberate on them, and that will be that." I replied, "I can not do this. Nor do I 'control' my students. Unfortunately many of OTO's demands are always unThelemic and against the rights of Liber OZ.  I do not believe in restriction and if JW & LD wants to martyr me for what others are speaking out upon, then I accept my fate and I'll hang upon the cross.  I will not accept pieces of silver (i.e. the right to a fair hearing) to censor others. I will not do this in order to save myself. In other words, 'If I want to get my say in' ... is little more than a threat. What you're implying is that I must shut my students up or the Tribunal will 'shut me up' by not hearing my side of the story, correct? Is this fraternal? Or is it merely implying they'll railroad me? Furthermore, if they don't like what is on Thelema93 then don't read it." Tony replied to this by saying, "No, it's not that they don't like reading it, they just don't like the meetings minutes described to the public." Tony then adds in parenthesis, "(Apparently minutes are no longer public record as they were when I was secretary.)"

Also, in regards to giving Kalil the information about Bill Breeze's discussion at the Areopagus, I wrote Tony saying, "I never keep anything secret from my students. I believe in an open book policy of truth and honesty. I do nothing behind their backs. Of course, what is going on due to the AA implications has some in my lineage concerned if not 'beyond' mad. You can understand why. Also, you have never stated our emails are 'confidential' and, in truth, keeping this affair quiet benefits only the OTO and not me. In other words, I'm keeping many in my lineage completely informed of the facts. One person in particular, who is on Thelema93, asked if they could 'quote' what I sent. I had no problem with this because 'Mystery is the enemy of Truth.' The only thing I asked is not to name the person whom was emailing to me, meaning yourself. They obliged. Is what I am doing wrong? Yes, again. I was never told to keep things quiet. I'm glad it stirred up the pot. The OTO doesn't want the information out about my case because this way, [like they've done in the past with others] they can tell the 'Truth' as they see it and be the only one spinning the yarn. However, Bill had every intention of waltzing into the Areopagus with a loaded gun on AA issues and have the OTO expel me on the spot without a fair trail. So who's playing fair?  Anyway, the OTO wouldn't buy Bill's claims and so NOW he, Markus and others had to go back, re-think things and come up with charges against me which could stick and get me expelled rather than the AA issue. Should I keep quiet about it?  I ask you, who does it benefit if I do?  Bill's AA?"

Tony would later reply to this comment by saying, "I gave you the blow-by-blow for your interest, and because I feel you have a right to know. I did not expect you to pass it along right away, but that is your choice. Of course, if you had not, it would not have been an issue, and there would be no request to cool it until after the meeting, or censor others as you put it. (It's not a public trial) Once the issue is settled, then I think everyone has a right to know, but I am not sure that any external discussion will help, and given their response to the postings, obviously hurts. But I keep forgetting that you are not trying to stay."

Also in my email I wrote, "Yes, I can see why the Thelema93 posting has some worried because people like Arild, Fernee and numerous others are getting outraged by the facts and the implications that only Bill's AA will be tolerated for now on. I think he made a major blunder at the Areopagus by bringing this issue up before a mundane organization which means that it could likewise be brought before the court of public opinion. He brought it to Malkuth, now it's alive on Malkuth. It was a bad move magickally on his part. I hope he's enjoying the bed that he's made? So, what do you think, good move on his part, or bad?" Tony jokingly replied, "I think good, but maybe not for him. It's obviously a problem that's been waiting to pop, and this seems to be the time for it. The idea that the OTO will decide which is a "real" AA. makes me sick. What happened to my own freedom of choice? That's the real issue with AA. matters ever coming up in OTO meetings."

I then told Tony, "Anyway, you wouldn't believe what the private emails and letters are saying in regards to the postings on Thelema93 & elsewhere. I could fill an entire Red Flame with them. And in truth, I've got less than 'ten' which are pro-OTO. What does that tell?"  

I ended my email saying, "Of course the OTO has to act 'post haste' and expel me quickly in the hopes to silence this issue.  But it won't."

Later in the day I sent Tony another quick, very brief email saying, "Tony 93! I did send off to my most vocal students re: JW & LD's requests. I had mixed responses. The best, to sum up the situation is an excerpt: "What is the difference between what you're suggesting (of us) & what the OTO is suggesting of you?" Good question. I replied that yes, you're right. I have no right to complain about the OTO trying to restrict me and take away my Thelemic rights to publish Red Flame and post where I want if I'm suggesting the same of my students.  Boy, I'm between a rock & a hard place! 93 93/93 Jerry."

After reviewing all of the above and much, much more. I noted one comment which Tony made, which I overlooked, which actually needed to be addressed. This is where he stated, "I keep forgetting that you are not trying to stay." Meaning, that I was actually trying to get expelled from the OTO deliberately. I fired back a rather hot response on the 18th. It read, "Tony 93! I am very, very distressed over your most recent email. First of all, I never said that I didn't want to stay in the OTO anymore. I love the Order passionately. If I hated it, I'd quit. Why do you think I'm fighting? I just believe that it's futile to try to save me because Breeze has already made up his mind that Grady McMurtry's AA must be eliminated for the sake of 'his' authority. In other words, my words are the cries of a cynic who simply won't go away quietly and not of someone who wants out of the Order.  Most irritating is that fact that since day one I thought our emails were between friends, a brother to a brother, sharing information. No where, in any of them, did you say keep this or that confidential and don't tell anyone. Now I'm finding out, in a back handed kinda way, that everything we've been saying is considered minutes or 'official' and that because I've communicated such to my students, the OTO is claiming that I'm in violation of some bull-shit secrecy clause and that they're getting upset. What are they doing 'spinning' more charges as they go along?"  Tony's comments to my email are lengthy but I wish to include a few of interest. To my above comment about being in 'violation' of secrecy clauses Tony replied, "No. They are getting upset because I communicated it to you in the first place, and because your students published it. They probably would not have minded private discussion, but you know how they hate public discussion of things they are in the process of deciding. (Maybe they think it's democracy.) Anyway, they are just as mad at me for describing it to you in such detail." To this I would later reply, "My students feel as passionately about this issue as I do. I can not fault them for wanting to pick up sword in hand and fight. Public discussion on these matters benefits humanity, keeping this quiet only benefits the Black Brotherhood. Mystery is the enemy of Truth. If a person or an Order has done nothing wrong then they wouldn't fall back on the 'secrecy clause' trying to hide everything as much as Bill does. This was not done under Grady's reign." 

My email continued, "The OTO does not OWN it's members. We're Free man! When did it start thinking that it can tell us when to sit, stand, open our eyes, close them, piss, shit and or keep our mouths shut? When did we stop being Thelemic and become a restrictive slave organization? Why isn't the OTO actions subject to Liber OZ or Liber AL vel Legis? What happened to the philosophical Areopagus judging our actions and beliefs by our Holy Books? It seems we are becoming so 'fraternal' wrapped up with our Rules, Regulations & Bylaws that it's easy to slip into a spider's lair and become prey. Yes, I'm venting!!!! And for the record, what you said about the Areopagus meeting to me was merely 'relating what occurred' and WAS NOT the fucking Meeting Minutes! Minutes imply 'official' documentation. I've got nothing official that I can quote! Ours was, I thought, a  recollection of what occurred, or as you put it "for your interest, and because I feel you have a right to know." To this Tony replied, "If I implied that they were the minutes I was wrong. And yes, that was exactly why I communicated it to you. What you do with it is up to you. I am simply subsequently informing you of the results of your actions."

My email continued in regards to the right to know, saying, "Yes, that's completely true but because Breeze confused the planes he opened up a can of worms in regards to OTO and AA issues. Don't you think MY STUDENTS "have a right to know" these issues since they effect ME as well as them?  Remember, I didn't confuse the Orders, Breeze did and I, along with my students, should not be penalized for trying to straighten out the mess which he made. The only reason the OTO is putting a spin on this now, that I must keep quiet, is because this issue is turning into a major embarrassment for Breeze. Mea culpa, mea culpa, I'm so sorry that what is being publicly said is an 'embarrassment' to him but what he said & did in regards to me at the Areopagus was FAR WORSE. It was down-right back stabbing, slanderous, blatant lies, a deformation on my character and hardly fraternal behavior especially for someone in his position who should have known better.  That's a fact.  And I might point out, all of which are charges which could strip him of his position in the OTO or get him expelled.  He's violated so many of his own damn fraternal Oaths of the man of Earth at the Areopagus Meeting that it's sickening but does anybody care about that? No! Instead everyone is quietly trying to ignore this fact and I'm being told that the AA is no longer the real issue ... because if it was, we're going to have to debate who is "down-right slanderous, blatantly lying, a defaming the other's character." In other words, we'd have to debate the AA issue and if Bill Breeze is wrong, then I'll bring his ass up on charges which could get him expelled! In fact, let me make the above a formal charge right now! Will anything become of this? NO! The OTO will squash it. ... Instead what is happening? I'm being charged with violating my Oaths. What's wrong with this picture? The kettle calling who black? Am I merely being railroaded to cover up the facts that Bill can do anything he wants and say anything he wants without accountability.  Is Bill Breeze exempt from the man of Earth Oaths?  Let's face it, the Tribunal (et OTO) is going to have their spin on all this 'public talk' and etc as I do mine. We are not going to agree on what is going on.  HOWEVER, WHEN DID OUR EMAILS TURN FROM BEING TWO PEOPLE DISCUSSING ISSUES TO BEING 'THIS IS OFFICIAL MINUTES' AND DO NOT DISCUSS IT TO ANYONE, ANYMORE OR YOU'RE FUCKED? I've looked but I can't find the transition point? I can't even find anywhere where it states from this point on 'THE TRIBUNAL IS INVESTIGATING!" Tony was quick to reply, "There is no transition point, because I never told you not to pass it on."

In some ways I knew this right from the start. My next line in my email said, "I poured out my heart to you. I thought you were helping me not acting as a go between for Jim and Lon to get information, who now say they are losing interest in talking to me." To which Tony replied, "I am trying to help you, but obviously not doing a good job of it. But don't blame me for Khalil's actions or your own in telling him. It was information _from_ me that stirred the pot, not anything you've told me. Again, that information was yours to do with as you saw fit, and I do not myself fault you for anything in this matter. I placed and place no restrictions on you in that regard. (how could I, even if I wanted to?)"

I continued, "When have I ever talked to them?  Tony, I am not sure you've been exactly clear on this point. When did, 'we're appointing a Tribunal' end and 'everything you say (and others?) from now on will be held against you' begin? Yes, everything seems to be pissing the OTO off but, in truth, there are two sides to this coin. AND THEY ARE PISSING ME OFF TOO. For the record, I haven't even been given any official 'Charges' yet. I do not know exactly what the OTO is charging me with except vague innuendoes in my suspension letter. How can I even make a defense to the Tribunal? Be honest, the function of the Tribunal is merely to solidify and come up with charges and I'm being told that my actions only add further charges onto an already complicated issue. Well, I'm sorry. You want to hear a real fucking cynic talk? -  The lion wanted to eat me at the Areopagus Meeting. Everyone said, 'No, bad lion, Jerry is not fat enough yet!' You guys are merely plumping me up for the slaughter because the inevitable will be that I'll be handed back before the lion. Do you think he's changed his colors and won't eat me? - Let's face it, regardless of the charges, or even how lame they might be or even how great my defense is, NOTHING will matter. You guys are writing the charges, handing them to the Supreme Council et Breeze the lion ... who, whether such charges are fair or not, will expel me because that's WHAT HE WANTED TO DO IN THE FIRST PLACE when he waltzed into the Areopagus Meeting!!!!!!! Do you see the moebius strip or is it just me? Ask Lon And Jim, do they really think Bill has changed his mind about expelling me and will be a fair, honest and a just judge when the Tribunal hands him their report? The OTO is simply going through the motion to tell it's membership that I was given a fair trial but if it was really going to give me a fair trial, the final decision wouldn't be in the hands of the Supreme Council with the likes of Breeze and Markus who admittedly are "out for my blood."  Now do you understand why I'm a cynic?  I'm FUCKING DOOMED NO MATTER WHAT YOU GUYS WRITE UP!  So why should I bother to comply to anything you're 'upset' about?  Tony, I'm not mad at you, or even Lon and Jim, so don't take my venting as such. I'm just pissed at the constant demands and threats which the OTO is making on me 'if I want a fair trial.' The term 'fair trial' makes me laugh. There is nothing fair about this. It reminds me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail where a guy cries, 'She's a witch!' and the Inquisitioners put her on a scale to measure her against a duck. If she's weighs the same, she floats, therefore she's a witch. However, the scales are rigged so both will always weight the same to automatically make her guilty. The woman replies, "Fat chance I have, don't I?"  Catch my drift? Yes, I know in your heart that you are trying to see that things are being handled correctly but I think you're in denial of the fact that you're just another person buttering me up for the inevitable slaughter. Please, don't take that wrong. I'm just a rationalist. Anyway, I should have my defense letter finished by Tuesday, maybe Wednesday. I'll send it to you, with two other copies for you to forward to LD & JW. After that, the OTO can expel me ... "post haste."  Until later ... 93 93/93 Jerry."

Tony made many great comments to my tome of an email, too many to add into this Epistle but the jest of all of it seems to be frustration on every one's part. The OTO wanted everything kept quiet, swept under the rug and handled typically 'behind closed doors.' But since the real issue of Bill Breeze's anger centered around the belief in AA lineages it became difficult. The question members of my lineage kept asking was whether or not an outer fraternity like the OTO has the right to demand from an inner school like the AA to silence its members who discuss its mundane shenanigans of lying, deceit and railroading? Do you see the hypocrisy which crosses the planes? One Order says Mystery is the enemy of Truth. The other Order wanting everything kept quiet and hidden from the masses.

VI

After the Grand Tribunal was assembled two members of the three hid in the shadows like assassins. They never once communicated with me. In the interim more demands kept pouring forth, each one was more ludicrous and paranoid than the previous. I was continually told that if I didn't stop and silence all my AA members from chatting on the Internet and elsewhere about the travesties of my case then the Tibunal would simply make up its mind without bothering to hear my side, nor caring to. I was told that they also wouldn't wait for the written charges to be drawn up by Frater Hymenaues Beta which were supposedly due any day according to Tony Iannotti. I asked is this fair, to simply railroad me because of others, in a different fraternity, are talking? The answer was direct. It was, Yes. I was informed that if I didn't keep my members quiet, especially Kalil, they'll 'silence me' by not allowing me to post a defense. I emailed Tony reminding him that I was not going to silence my AA members. I never have done this in my lineage and if it meant I would be expelled because of it, so be it. From that point on things progressively got worse. It became very obvious that the Grand Tribunal was not there to "investigate" the Truth as my letter of suspension implied. They were simply there to find a way to shaft me. If I go into all the details it would take pages upon pages to clarify the antics of the Grand Tribunal.

Since I refused to silence the membership of my lineage the OTO started a rather funny campaign to discover the identity of Kalil. Knowing how the Order works, if they could discover Kalil's identity they'd be able to attack, slander or threaten Kalil with lawsuits on the sly. Remaining 'hidden' Kalil was unapproachable except on Thelema93 and they didn't want to play in an open forum where Truth prevails by one's actions. I had to laugh at the hypocrisy typical of Breeze's behavior. It's OK for him to be the Hidden Master, with no photos, nor personal info being released publicly but everybody else has to be 'known' to him. I joked with Tony, "If I told you Kalil harbored from your own state of New Jersey, would it surprise you? Of course this is just hypothetical (wink wink) ..." He replied, "Yes, that it would." Over the next few weeks the identity of Kalil became the center of focus as to who it is or whether or not Kalil was even a man or a woman. I admit playing, or dare I say, deliberately dropping both 'he' and 'she' when referring to Kalil in my correspondences. I thought it all rather funny. On the 20th I sent Tony an emailing saying, "You know, Jim Graeb & Scriven met the other day down in Riverside and the identity of Kalil seems to have been a topic. I don't understand this. Why are so many people concerned about this or why do we bother to have fraternal names?  Why can't people accept people on the value of their word rather than 'knowing the identity' of the person first? Anyway, Jim implied in so many words that OTO wants to find a back door and shut Kalil up by learning the identity of this mysterious figure so they can get and throw dirt up in the public's eye to discredit this person. Is Kalil that dangerous to the OTO?"  I emailed a similar comment about being so dangerous to Kalil, whom replied, "What, little ol' me?"

Tony replied to my above saying, "They are going into mole hunt mode, just like any intelligence agency would. Of course in this case it's obvious that I was the real mole, just doing his job in a brotherly manner, but they think Kalil might be an OTO member too." I laughed so hard when I read this and quickly replied, "I love the term 'mole hunt mode' ... Kalil, an OTO member? I chuckle, let them know: do they really think I'm stupid enough to let an OTO member be vocal? I have far better 'jousters' than Kalil in my lineage but Kalil has something which makes Kalil untouchable by OTO." As far as the 'jousting' term goes, in previous emails I had told Tony that "everyone in my lineage writes letters from day one. We force our students to write out stuff and ask questions. This promotes earthing out thought. We try to drag their ideas and views out in order to teach them how to speak their own mind. But one of the side effects we've learn over the years is that it fine tunes one's jousting ability. Someone like Kalil whose been around since the dinosaurs, has alot of experience." But who is Kalil? The hunt went on. We received email throughout the world asking the same question while making their assumptions. It seemed this was a major quest of the OTO to find out who Kalil is and then silence the leak of information. Sadly, what they did not want to face was that Tony Iannotti was the real 'mole', telling me things and in return, I was telling them to Kalil.

Then, on Saturday May 27th, I found my the first and last official email from the Grand Tribunal, it read: "After careful consideration of your case -- and close observation of your public statements and behavior since our appointment as a Grand Tribunal Court of Inquiry following the April 29, 2000 ev meeting of the Secret Areopagus -- we have unanimously adopted the following recommendation.


"We recommend the immediate expulsion of Jerry Cornelius from Membership in the
O.T.O. for violations of his Oaths of Secrecy in publishing his version of the IVth Degree
Word, and for Acts Prejudicial to the Order both in publicly proclaiming the details of his
problems with the Order and publicly involving himself with self-proclaimed, overt enemies
of the Order and its highest officers."
It is with the profoundest regret that we feel we must make this recommendation. In
view of our long friendships with you, and your many years of distinguished service, we
offer you the opportunity to provide us with a written response which we will review and
forward with our recommendation. Please provide this on or before June 3, 2000 ev.
With regret and sadness
Love is the law, love under will.
Members of the Grand Tribunal Court of Inquiry"


Yes, the Grand Tribunal lived up to it's threats. Because I refused to silence my AA lineage they made their decision that I should be expelled immediately without letting me offer a defense nor did they even receive any official charges being made against me which I could have replied to. So, what was I guilty of? 

[I fired back my response:]

To the Grand Tribunal 93.
(to be forwarded to the Supreme Council)

How nice of you to offer me your profoundest regrets while throwing rocks of trumped up charges. Personally it comes as no surprise to me of the opprobrious if not disgraceful way in which the Grand Tribunal has arrived at its decision. Let's not have any pretenses that you've done little else but wear the mantle of a witch hunter. You sought my guilt from the beginning, neither caring to hear, or trying to find out, whether or not I was innocent. Everything I did only further proved to you that I was guilty. You sought my guilt under every rock and I salute you for finally achieving the goal to which you were assigned.
However, for the record, I am not saying that I am not guilty of certain transgressions against the Order. I can see how in Truth, once pointed out to me, that I might well be and have even said such. But if it were just OTO issues which upset Bill Breeze in regards to Red Flame No.7, as the OTO membership is being informed, then why wasn't I given a phone call and informed of my infractions back in October of 1999? I should have been told to cease & stop distributing that issue of Red Flame at once. This is how things of this nature have 'always' been handled in the past and I can cite numerous cases to make my point. Some infractions have even been more distressful than mine. Yes, this type of indiscretion has occurred before and it will occur again in the future. After all, we're only human, we all make mistakes. And such mistakes are usually dealt with on a fraternal basis, as a brother to a brother. Is this not what we're taught as to how we should resolve issues? To do things open and honest on a fraternal basis? Yet this was never, never even once afforded to me ... why?  Is it because the real issue had nothing to do with an OTO indiscretion prior to April of 2000? Let's be honest, nothing was told to me between October till April of 2000, either in writing, by phone or email. Almost seven months went by before I heard anything. Is this how the OTO works? Then on April 29th Bill Breeze waltzed into the Areopagus and demanded my expulsion for reasons predominately over AA. remarks made in Red Flame. This issue was not even on the agenda. I was completely blinded sided, my name slandered and I was viciously attacked behind my back without ever getting a chance to defend myself amongst my peers. This is far from fraternal behavior. Bill Breeze has violated more Oaths by his conduct, especially IIIrd Degree, than I care to shake a stick at and the Order itself should be held accountable for letting him get away with it. Yes, everyone at the Areopagus meeting said that the OTO could not expel me on Breeze's trumped-up AA charges but in doing such you inadvertently let him off the hook for his defamation of my character at an official meeting of the Order. The bottom line is why am I being accused of one crime while he gets away with another?
Also, without thinking of the consequences the Areopagus suggested that Bill Breeze appoint a Grand Tribunal to investigate whether or not there 'were' OTO charges which could be filed. However, knowing what fueled Bill Breeze's anger for over four hours at the Areopagus should have been a wake up call to anyone with half a brain to say, "Wait a minute there is something drastically wrong here which needs further investigation." Then you should have ordered a Grand Inspector General Report. Instead everyone simply went into 'witch hunting' mode so it has something to 'sell' to the membership of the Order as to why I was being expelled other than Bill's AA issues. Let's face it, we all know and have joked about it amongst ourselves as Upper Degrees, that under careful scrutiny no OTO member is completely guilt free of everything. The OTO can get 'anyone' if it really wants to. In other words, this investigation has been a sham since the beginning. The real guilt in this case is not my FIRST transgression in twenty-three years of dedicated service but how the Order has dealt with me and that will ultimately be its historical legacy of shame. The OTO has totally botched this entire issue from October of 1999 to the present and instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, to get to the bottom of this whole episode, you're kissing the ass of my accuser.
And now you say that I can include a "written response" to your findings. My suspension letter said you'd "investigate" the Truth. How laughable is this if you've never bothered to inquire to or contact me, the accused, either in writing, by phone or email? Your findings are a pre-determined deception and fraud. I can give no written response at this point except my contempt for the proceedings.
And why isn't your report being handed back to the Areopagus? Isn't the Grand Tribunal suppose to investigate and draw up the charges made by the written accusations? Isn't it the Areopagus who reviews such and recommends either expulsion, suspension, censorship or acquittal to the Supreme Council for consideration? Of course this procedure can't be followed. Why? Because Bill Breeze can't take the chance that the full Areopagus of my peers, knowing the whole truth, might have the brains enough to decide against him - again. So your views that I should be expelled must bypass all OTO channels and go directly to the man who wanted me expelled in the first place. Fate complete. And you say I'm not being railroaded? I was never given a fair chance from the very beginning. So why should I bother with a serious defense now and at the last minute, especially in an OTO forum?
For posterity's sake and for the public record, I want to ask where does it say in our Constitution, or Rules Regulation & Bylaws that the Grand Tribunal, appointed by the accuser, can take upon itself to decided without any official written charges ever being made against a person, nor even hearing that person's defense, that said person should be expelled? In other words, how can you recommend that I be expelled if there hasn't even been written charges filed yet? You have neither the accuser's written words or mine, the defendant, before you. You're acting on total hearsay and rumors. I only hope the membership of the OTO is proud of the leadership of our Noble Fraternity, if not worried of the dangerous precedent this has set. The membership of the Order should be forewarned that we have arrived at a tragic point in our history where any member who disagrees with Bill Breeze on any issue, even unrelated to OTO, can be expelled. And if I, a twenty-three year veteran and an Upper Degree, can be railroaded out of the Order then what message does this send to the Lower Degrees? Of course the OTO will deny all this adamantly and put their 'spin' on it in the hope to do damage control but the facts speak rather loudly for themselves. Hasn't the IIIrd Degree ritual taught you that Truth can't be buried?
In my response to Germany, in regards to my suspension, I wrote, "I stand humbly before the Ordo Templi Orientis, arms outstretched and accepting my fate. Yes, I have dared to scream to the masses, 'I am the Truth and in my Turban is wrapped nothing but God.' Maybe I should be punished with whip & chain. Instead I am being ruthlessly struck down for this transgression while never once being approach fraternally by anyone in the last seven months to resolve the issue before it escalated. ... This tells me that there is little hope that I'll be raised by the Seven Bonds of Brotherhood. The manner by which I have been treated is slanderous and back-stabbing which shows me that the Order is not run by true brothers. It's run by treacherous assassins who throw rocks from the shadows rather than facing the accused as a brother to a brother or even in the light of day."  I suggest the Grand Tribunal re-read the Ritual of Third Degree. It took three men to kill Al Hallaj by the Well of Life and now three men sit as a Grand Tribunal. In both cases, the assassins acted out of personal reasons against the accused rather than looking for real justice, which if the majority of OTO membership was told the Truth, I would probably be acquitted. Yea verily, I have been taught the Word of IIIrd Degree and by such I know the Laws of resurrection. Expulsion has no hold on me. I do not look at it in a negative Light.
However, sadly in my Heart, I fear that what we are witnessing is the beginning of the end of our beloved Fraternity, the Ordo Templi Orientis. When people can be accused of a crime with nothing officially put in writing, when their defense is not asked for nor even allowed and if they speak out against this travesty publicly then it's held against them as yet further proof for their expulsion. It reminds me of Monty Python and the Holy Grail where a guy cries, "She's a witch!" The Inquisitioners put the woman on a scale to measure her against a duck. If she's weighs the same, she floats, therefore she's a witch. However, the scales are rigged so both sides will always weigh the same to assure a person's guilt. Realizing this the woman replies, "Fat chance I have, don't I?"
93 93/93 J. Edward



I also sent out a form letter to many of my friends worldwide. This brief email would cause the OTO much grief  having to explain itself.

93!
This is just a quick blurb to let you know the Grand Tribunal has come to a decision
yesterday and it is recommending to Bill Breeze that I should be expelled immediately. How
they came to this decision I don't fully know. The GT admits that no official charges have
yet to be filed against me or put onto paper by my accuser, Bill Breeze or the OTO. In fact,
the GT even admits that it doesn't have a copy of the letter which suspends me. Also, the
GT has not even bothered to contact me, to hear my defense. I've received nothing by
letter, phone or email nor have I sent anything to them prior to receiving the final judgment.
So basically, without having the accuser's accusations or the defendant's testimony the GT
has come to the decision that I should be kicked out! What is wrong with this picture? If
their decision isn't based on hearsay and rumor then what is? And they say I'm not being
railroaded! Well, enough for now. I'll keep you posted on further developments.
93 93/93 J. Edward

VII

Tony Iannotti and I emailed back and forth quite a lot, hundred of pages worth. In one of my emails I discussed the right of Grady McMurtry's AA to exist as well as Breeze's. Tony replied, "That's what I am fighting now. I respect his opinion as his opinion, but cannot myself sit in judgment of any AA issue as an OTO member. It's just not my place, and I have told him and others so. Perhaps I have just cut my own throat as well now." I replied, "In some ways I respect Bill's opinion too. Otherwise I would have been far more ferocious in the last Red Flame. But he has crossed the line time and time again. I'm not sure if you're aware of some of the facts regarding this whole AA issue but as each year passes Bill is getting more vocal and more aggressive. Since the early nineties he's been verbally attacking other lineages. I've heard him slander Phyllis' claims and attack's Grady's. (Haven't you?) In fact, myself, Arild Stromsvag and Lon himself listened to one of Bill's rant's where he openly said that when Phyllis dies, he's going after Jim Eshelman to legally make him stop making claims that he's AA. This is a fact, I personally witnessed him saying it. So what am I to think? Is my lineage safe?

Yes, you may sternly reply a disbelief over the above or feel that what I'm fighting for really doesn't concern OTO. In some respects this is how Nazism took hold in Europe. At first people accepted Hitler with open arms, then rumors surfaced about atrocities. People refused to believe in them. They turned away as if not interested in knowing what was going on behind closed doors because they honestly believed the issues didn't effect them. Like the AA issues to OTO. And on a far, far lesser scale this is what has happened to the OTO under Frater HB. We accepted him, many still do. But stories are beginning to surface of injustices regarding Bill's attacks on other AA lineages and everyone is turning a blind eye to this. Sadly many OTO members in general and outsiders are in denial that such could really be happening or that it will inevitably effect them. They're speaking out on such places like Thelema93 that Kalil and others is wrong, saying: 'The OTO is not doing this!' Yes, I know the Nazis comparison might be a little strong but you have to admit, the similarities are quite amusing.

Also, consider this. In The Magical Link. (No.2 Spring/Fall 1998) which is an OTO publication using my dues money and yours, Bill verbally attacked Jim Eshelman and the idea of lineages in an article called 'Consider the Source' ... as being an "erroneous notion." Bill called his AA the only true AA, claiming it to be no less than the "traditional authority": cut and dry. He was very clear about this. But, if he attacks Jim's AA in an OTO publication, is mine safe? Also, consider this. Is my AA address or Phyllis' in the back of Aleister Crowley books being published by the OTO? Do you think Bill would let us put our addresses in those books? If not, what he's effectively doing is using OTO to push his lineage as the only lineage. Am I wrong? And still everyone is saying 'I shouldn't confuse the two Orders.' All I'm doing is sticking up for the rights of my lineage. Also, even the web site listed below on AA clearly points out that no other branch of the Order will be accepted within the Ordo Templi Orientis.

http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Atlantis/2569/geobook.html

[quote] "This A:.A:. is a union of several lines and is said to derive its authority in an unbroken chain from To Mega Therion through to its current senior Adepti. This is the only A:.A:. recognised by O.T.O."

I do not think anyone would have a problem with the term 'recognised' but, considering recent events, the word might well be changed to 'tolerated.' Also consider this. Another problem is that Bill Breeze has always accepted my degree of Magister Templi. He's openly mentioned this on numerous occasions, even to me. However, the more vocal he's getting with 'pushing one AA' within the OTO where do you think I fit into the picture? I believed that I either had to keep silent or speak out. In truth, my lineage always wanted to remain in silence, we have for years. However, I felt with all the recent events leading up to The Magical Link article that I had no choice but to speak out. I published a rebuttal in Red Flame No.7 to many of the claims Bill was making about only one AA. The rest is, as we say, history. I could go on and on. But don't you see, there is a history here of Breeze's AA using the OTO in a symbiotic way while trying edge out everyone else. It's not something that is a one time incident at the recent Areopagus where Bill accidentally 'crossed the line.' He's been doing it all along but it's been so subtle most people aren't even catching on. It just happens that if a finger needs to be pointed as to whom is at fault for letting this incident escalate ... it would have to fall on the shoulders of the Areopagus. It didn't let Bill waltz in, lay down his demand and expel me. ........ In other words, Bill wanted this issue of AA lineages 'closed' quickly but the Areopagus wouldn't let him. In truth, I was counting on this. I play chess. Of course, I wasn't counting on a Tribunal being called but it's not to my disadvantage ... if played right.

Yes, this whole issue of my expulsion has nothing to do with OTO charges. These are merely a smoke screen being brought up 'after-the-fact.' In truth, I am fighting for my life, for the right of Grady McMurtry's lineage and many others to exist in the world. If it costs me my membership in OTO then I accept this as my fate. But do you truly realize the beauty of what is happening?  Why Thelema93 is a hot bed? Why Red Flame No.7 or Koenig's web site must be 'silenced' in Bill's mind? Because the AA issue is before the world! Facts and stories which he has tried so hard to squash are getting public exposure. Thus when Bill said (quote) 'We are trying to cure people of this unhealthy obsession with spiritual lineages'  it'll be harder for him to do this.

I know that I am considered the ultimate evil to the OTO and many think I'm a son of bitch, I'm dead wrong, I've violated my Oaths and a slew of other transgressions. But I know these accusers do not understand the greater picture of what is at stake. I accept my fate in their court of opinion. I look at the Aeonic picture, not the here and now reality (i.e. OTO) which will fade away with time. Yes, verily, I have a goal and yes, I've taken on the role of a martyr. Is it wrong that I fight for the right of my students and all those who'll come after us, in many lineages, who may some day have to deal with Bill's thuggery? Is it wrong that I'm fighting for the right to be a Thelemite without looking over your shoulder for threats, intimidation and lawsuits? Yes, the most that this fight could cost me is my OTO membership which is a small price for my love of the 93 Current ... and I must give ALL.

Yes, I've heard it said often these days that we're all confusing AA & OTO. But don't you realize what 'really' happened at the Areopagus? Bill admitted that his AA now runs the OTO and that these Orders are connected or 'entwined' as an 'Inner' and 'Outer' school. In other words, he has effectively said he owns the copyrights/trademarks and everything to both organizations. In fact, Heidrick has actually stated this on the Fifth Degree E-List and that can be quoted if need be. Don't you realize that entwining these two Orders together gives Bill the right to use OTO money to attack all other branches of the AA through trumped-up allegations of copyright infringement on AA material or using AA trade-marks which he'll claim he owns. This is how he will go after Jim's [Eshelman] lineage. He told me so years ago. I didn't believe him then but with recent developments I only wish I spoke out sooner. 

As I see it, I have but two alternatives:

1. I accept the OTO telling me and my students to keep quiet, pull Red Flame and the material off Koenig's web site in the hopes that I might remain an OTO member. In other words, selling out my AA lineage for the material gain of my membership in a mundane fraternity. But do you think Bill will let all the AA lineages alone if I did this? 

2. Or do I stand and fight, knowing I'll be railroaded on OTO charges to which I have absolutely no defense but at least the Truth will get out about the AA. The world will know all the facts which Bill wants hidden. Facts which would hinder if not make it impossible for him to harass, intimidate or sue anyone in a Court of Law over AA matters. More important, it'll also wake the OTO up to realize that it is being used as a pawn in Bill's plans to attack other AA lineages. 

In other words, I'm letting the cat out of the bag and in doing such, Bill can't make his attacks from the shadows because I'm standing in the light screaming, "There he is!"

This is the whole issue of my expulsion in a nutshell."  [end]

VIII

In June, Thelema93 which was run by Second Degree OTO member tried to discover Kalil's identity by saying the web site wanted everyone to 'identify' who they are with their alias' at the bottom of every posting. Kalil did not want to play and became banned from posting on Thelema93. I wrote all the gruesome details out in an article titled KALIL and the Thelema93-l Tango. In this article I mentioned an incident which occurred on June 15th. "Around one-thirty on the fifteenth I sent Kalil a quick email jokingly saying, "Kalil 93! I guess when all is said and done, your posting on T93 got me expelled from the OTO and my telling you this morning to go ahead and post your comments to Nigris publicly got you banned from T93! Opps!! We should make it up to each other by having mad passionate sex the next time we meet ... of course, don't tell Marlene! [i.e. my wife] You know what a Scorpio she is!" Kalil quickly replied, "You are SO BAAAAAADDDD!" I then sent Kalil my draft of the 'events unfolding on the T93, which I wanted to send out to a few friends. Kalil replied, "93 OK but watch out who you send this to or they'll tell Marlene. BTW, never mind, I'll tell Marlene and then you really WILL be sorry!" Kalil's identity still seemed to be an OTO concern, even though the Grand Tribunal was already over. Kalil also dropped hints to 'her' identity when she sent an email to Hal von Hofe, who lives in Connecticut and was an old Brocken Mountain Lodge member. Kalil wrote, "Hal, do you remember me from Brocken? If so please remember that Jerry wants my identity to be kept quiet... let them keep guessing, eh?" I had to chuckle. Sooner or later, Kalil will be uncovered. The latest spin came on Friday June 9th. Jim Wasserman's wife Nancy called Keith Schurholz, an EC member and asked him, "Are you Kalil?" Of course, Keith burned down the phone lines to tell me this. Yes, it bothers them that they can't uncover Kalil's identity. Marlene upon hearing this latest accusation immediately sent Keith an email, "Whao! Is it true Keith? Or should I call you Kalil?"  ... In truth, Keith is NOT Kalil!


To be continued .... [click HERE]



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