From the Caliph
by Frater Hymenaeus Alpha 777 (Grady Louis McMurtry)

The following article appeared in
The Magickal Link, Vol. 1I, No.11 November 1982e.v.

“Do great things while they are yet small, hard things while they are yet easy; for all things, how great or hard soever, have a beginning when they are little and easy.  So thus the wise man accomplisheth the greatest tasks without undertaking anything important.”
  TAO TEH KING, Aleister Crowley
On Aug 4 1982 e.v. I debarked AIR CANADA in Edmonton and was issued an orange card with the code 6-4 written across it.  At customs I was asked why I came to Canada I said vacation so she said “& what else” & I said “some teaching” whereby she pre-emptorarily directed me to IMMIGRATION.

He: Do you believe in Christ?

I:  We recognize him as a great historical figure.  We do not worship as a God.  We have our
own Gods.

He:  What would happen if you were called back to active duty as a Major of  Ordnance
what, with your beard haha, laughing in his hand?

I:  Nothing.  I’d just put on my turban and report to duty.

He:  You’ve got a Turban?

I:  Sure. I’m a Yoga instructor… the Sikhs get away with it, why shouldn’t we?

He:  That’s right!  The Canadian Sikhs in the Army…

It took him some time.  In the meantime Eugene, Helene and Maria were impatiently waiting for me in the waiting Room.

That should of ended it, but I was sent back to Customs & a gathering crowd of Customs & RCMP (Royal Canadian Mounted Police.  I didn‘t see any horses.  Just horses . . . ).  They look like traffic cops without their nice red coats.  After all I was being busted on Profile and everyone wanted to be in on the kill.  Edmonton had waited for this day for a long time.  By some miracle this major dealer had fouled his schedule & was making a fast detour Edmonton & they had him.  The Royal Canadian Mounties had their Man.  Yes sir.  But they couldn’t keep him.  Other flights were landing & International passengers were being hustled thru Customs, but not here.  Here they were picking my luggage apart with a fine comb & AHA! What’s this?  A small brass relic of the Haight with enough residue for a sample (but not enough for clinical proof in Court, which makes the whole thing completely idiotic.  What is the point of arresting a person if there is no crime?) & 10 charges of ISI Laughing Gas (N2O, made in Austria & commercially packaged) for which I was duly arrested ( to my incredulous exclamation, “ I didn’t know laughing gas was illegal,” the dead pan replay was, “They might be  explosives.”) & he was absolutely right.  Laughter is the most explosive thing in this universe.  Stupidity was winning the day in Canada & I was left to contemplate H.L. Mencken’s comments on the Bible Belt mentality while covering the Scope’s Monkey Trail.  Anyone wishing a Xerox of that Revenue Canada Customs receipt complete with Maple Leaf forever send $10.00 to CALIPH’S DEFENSE FUND P.O. Box 2303 Berkeley CA 94702. Positive proof that Born Again Christianity thru its Moral Majority legislation has so equated sin with having fun that they have made “encouraging to laugh” a crime in Canada.  But we Americans fought a Revolution for “Life, Liberty & the Pursuit of Happiness.”  there is nothing wrong with having fun and all I was trying to do was take the kids some party favors (they forgot to impound the dime store balloons I had for the gas.  I still have them).

But this was not a bust.  I was supposed to be carrying thousands of $$$ & great bricks of coke cunningly wrapped. After all the streets of Edmonton had been plastered with posters announcing the arrival of the Caliph of Aleister Crowley’s wicked old O.T.O., & he must be carrying… and then like a slow shock wave it began to dawn on them that some terribly embarrassing mistake had been made.  One of the n ice Customs lady’s in blue turned to another and said, “It’s all so & so’s fault.”  The tipster.  But once the machinery had been set in motion it was impossible to stop.  As a Government Management Analyst I could have taken their peanut organization apart & put it together upside down & they would have been only slightly confused.  So I just sat there with my right hip on the top rail of the old corral… I mean Customs Counter… watching these Lilliputian tight assed anal retentive going thru their primitive behavior patterns.  By then the tension had reached the explosion point.  But not with me.  I was just sitting there being the ultimate Mr. Kool. Oh Yez.  I was supposed to be freaking out at this point.  “Are you nervous Mr. McMurtry?”  “No.  I just thought maybe the kids outside might be getting a little restless.”  So they dispatched an RCMP Private to confront them, which he promptly did, going outside & ordering Eugene and Helen to leave the Waiting Room. 

Which blew the bomb.  They had actually turned to go & were leaving peaceably when Helene in her exasperation accidentally knocked over a desk box of Customs brochures, surely a misdemeanor at most, but a signal to blood lust.  To the RCMP Private she had attacked THE QUEEN’S PROPERTY & for this he attacked her with a ferocity beyond belief, grapping her in a neck lock. 

Helene was so severely injured we had to stop at a hospital on the way home for treatment of injuries on the inside of her throat  the guy was chocking her so hard and we have medical evidence.  This is no joke.  Current OAKLAND TRIBUNE, “Black Inmate Died of Neck Injuries,” Oct 1 1982 p. 1.  The first I heard of this was the RCMP Private coming back into the holding where I was being held behind close doors with a lady’s fingernail slash a mile long down his right forearm & suitable embellishments on his scalp.  His cap was pushing back & he was breathing hard but it was not from contemplating the LUST card.  He had been mauled by a wild cat because Helene had not obstructed my arrest but had severely defended herself.  This seemed to drive them into some kind of a bureaucratic feeding frenzy.  An RCMP Sergeant & this primitive Private ordered me, alone, into a metal side room & closed the door.  I was reminded of DARKNESS AT NOON.  I was told to take off my boots and socks.  They had decided I must be the Devil (I don’t believe in Christ) and were looking for cloven hoofs.  Then I was told to drop my levi’s and briefs and bend over.  Well, shucks, folks, I ain’t done that since short-arm inspection years agone in Ft. Mason CA US of A standing naked in line in an Army rain coat so porous you had the blessing of being able to stand in the rain and take a shower at the same time… ah, for the good old days…but since they wanted to find out what kind of a sex is a Hymenaeus Alpha I said, “Oh, just like in the Army”, flipped my bunnies. 

By then it was beginning to sink in as to how far off their PROFILE really was. You see HIGH TIMES can’t be sold on the news-racks in Canada. Might give the kids bad ideas.  But of course Customs Officials get to read all the porn on dope & there it is.  Well, you k now what I look like. Big straw hat, combat boots, faded levi’s, Mountain Man’s short coat, a string of religious medals swung from my neck…obviously the prototype of the Peruvian coke dealer they see in every issue of HIGH TIMES…sometimes on horseback & packing a repeater rifle & 2 pistollas. It was the bust of the decade. They knew because they had inside information, hence the code 6-4 on my Orange card.  But they forgot something.  My long hair & beard is also the Profile of any Oriental swami-guru passing thru on his Ministry.  Or their precious Jesus Christ for that matter.  This is religious persecution.  Especially since they had xeroxed by my file copy of  THE TEMPLAR DOGMA from the 32nd DEGREE MASONIC READINGS in Immigration  before I was sent back to Customes.  My only crime is that I am White, speak English & I was born in America.  You see the nice straightsville English  speaking Born Againers of Western Canada have gotten together & very democratically elected God & his name is Christ & if you disagree you are bad = sin = pass a law, God’s Law is Our law = you go to jail if you believe that Christ is God in Canada.  But in America we have freedom of religion and as Thelemites we have a Prophet, a Sacred Text & we pay our taxes.  We don’t have to worship Christ.  We have our own Gods.  But they had arrested me so what to do?

I was put in a glass booth while the Professional staff went thru whatever cerebral gymnastics they had to go thru to convince themselves that the only evidence they had were 10 rounds of laughing gas…which I thoughtfully left with them for whatever nefarious uses their kinky little minds can come up with…and not enough clinical evidence to stand a court case so obviously it would be thrown out (as it was: Regina vs. Grady McMurtry…maxim de minimis non curat lex…the law ought not to concern itself with trifles…xerox of this letter avail for suitable donation to the Caliph’s Defense Fund…which see) So they had to let me go.  But the consequences are momentous.  Here in miniature we have seen demonstrated the ultimate stupidity of Christianity, that fun is sin & the pursuit of Happiness is to be Prohibited.  Why not, they’ve Prohibitioned everything but alcohol, & those of you who drink might remember that you are next just like in the 20’s and 30’s.  Secondly we have seen the ferocity which with Born Again Jesus Freak Christianity enforces it’s morality thru it’s Gendarmie… Canada is a police state so far as Civil Liberties are concerned… the RCMP are federal like the FBI & can walk into your house on suspicion and bust you for anything they think is illegal…& we are physically in  danger from their mindless attacks.  You would think that having burned Jacques de Molay at the stake once they would lay off the Templars, but no,  Helene Schuld will stand trail Nov 3 1982e.v. before a Judge, an ex-RCMP officer, who is out to get her on the charge of having resisted my arrest which is impossible because I was behind closed doors in another room.  But he has demonstrated his intent by refusing to dismiss the charges against  Eugene and Helene because he can’t get to me so he will try to take it out on them.  Which is an outrage.  I call on every Thelemite to witness.  This is Unholy.  The Word of Sin is Restriction.  Man has a right to live as he will.  To dress as he will.  And these rights are being legislated out of existence by the “do-gooder” Born Againers whose endless moral plague of nosiness… thinking they have a right to interfere in their neighbors business… makes them think they can legislate your morality.  But morality is a matter of religion, not politics, & it is time we straightened them out on this.  The very fact that beautiful children like Eugene & Helene are being seriously threatened with jail in a Canadian winter… the reason the Aurora Borealis is so vivid is you are standing on 10 feet of snow to see it… for no other reason than they refuse to mount a plastic Jesus on the dashboard of their car proves that.  This requires action, but lawyers cost money.  So far Nepthys Chapter has come up with $800 & Grand Lodge has made up the current difference of $1200.  Both Nepthys Chapter & Grand Lodge must be reimbursed and a permanent fund established for the defense of all of us, & for this I have created the CALIPH’S DEFENSE FUND.  Anyone wishing to contribute our I.R.S. tax write-off number is 94-2700411 or just send a random contribution.  We are all threatened.  We might as well get our leageal trip together.  Make checks payable to CALIPH’S DEFENSE FUND & mail to
    O.T.O. Grand Lodge
         PO Box 2303
     Berkeley CA 94702

O yez:  Eugene & Helene were handcuffed in front of me & we all, The Unholy Three, were mug-shot 3 ways, finger printed & turned loose.  For their actions in my defense I award Helene Schuld the ORDER OF THE LABRYS and Eugene Plawiuk the HAMMER OF THOR & establish them in their rank as KNIGHTS TEMPLAR CASTELLAN.  May their tribe increase. 

“For that is not the Will of any Man which ultimateth in his own Ruin and that of all his fellows; and that is not Liberty whose Exercise bringeth him to Bondage.”
     LIBER ALEPH, Aleister Crowley

That is not Liberty which has legislated the Pursuit of Happiness out of existence & led us to Bondage.  It is Born Again Christianity.  It is time we understood that.
                                                                  H.A. 777                                  

To be continued… [Click HERE]

I wish to thank Frater Orpheus for making this page possible.