~ ENLIGHTENMENT QUIZ ~

1.  YIN and ..........

a. Yout        b. Tonic        c. Yental        d. Yang

2.  A Zen Koan is ..........

a. A Jewish Buddhistb. All of the Above

c. None of the aboved. All and none of the Above.

3. Just before total God-realization You will see ..........

a. A Blue Pearl b. Nothing

c. Everything   d. How would I know?

4. Lao-Tsu is .......................

a. Shrimp with fried rice b. A Japanese word for 'sneeze'

c. A country in Asia   d. One of the Above

5. Jivatman and Atman merge to become ......................

a. Jivatmanatman b. Jivatman & Atman, Inc.

c. The Atman Brothers   d. Mr.& Mrs. Atman.

6. The word or words which best describes the

relationship of God, Guru and Self is .......................

a. Oneness.b. Twoness

c. Penpalness   d. Just good friends.

7. Which of the following is not a name of the Lord?

a. Jehovah b. Elohim

c. Yahweh d. Hillary Clinton

8. If you cross a Swami with a Yogi, you get .................

a. A Swogib. A Salami

c. Yogurt d. Heartburn

9. Carlos Castaneda is ..................................

a. A flamenco dancer b. A resort near San Juan

c. The guitarist for Santana  d. The 2nd baseman for the L.A.Dogers

10. Om Mani Padme Hum means .................

a. Oh, Manny, pardon my home

b. It u cn rd ths msg u cn gt a gd jb

c. "Money talks, nobody walks" in Sanskrit

d. Never having to say you're sorry.

11. The Sound of One Hand Clapping is ...................

a. Very Quietb. Similar to smiling with one lip.

c. A Zen record store    d. Like the 'P' in swimming.

12. Linguine is to fettucine as Kundalini is to .................

a. Eenie-meenib. Halloweenie

c. Harry Houdini   d. Peto Bismal

13. The Tao Te Ching is .........................

a. The new primier of China b. I Ching's older brother

c. A record by Cheech & Chong d. A massage parlor in Tokyo

14. You arrive at a party and your host says, "Far out. I

want to take responsibility for creating space in

your universe so you can experience your

experience." He means .....

a. Have a good time. b. Don't eat the Swedish meatballs

c. I recently completed EST    d. Nothing anybody would understand

15. If three devotees can meditate for a total of nine

hours, how many devotess would it take to mow the

lawn?

16. If three devotees can mow the lawn in one hour, how

many stoned devotees would it take to meditate

until nobody cares?

17. If Shakti was rising toward the fourth chakra at a

rate of 3.5 pranayamas per second and at the same

time an energy force was traveling in the opposite

direction at a rate of 4.8 pranayamas per second,

what time would it be in Berkeley of we wake up in

Los Angeles?

TRUE or FALSE:

--------  Ramakrishna is a ceral made with rice and maple flavoring.

--------  Satori is better than nirvana and samadhi except on weekends and holidays

--------  Sufi Dancing is like square dancing only rounder.

--------  The Tibetan Book of the Dead is a novel by Harold Robbins.

BRAIN TEASER:

An enlightened person was locked in a closet with only a baseball bat ...

how did he get out?

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