The Degree Structure
of
Ordo Templi Orientis
X°
Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Is more
powerful than a locomotive.
Is faster than a speeding bullet.
Walks on water. Dictates policy to God.
IX°
Leaps short buildings in a single bound. Is more
powerful than a switch engine.
Is just as fast as a speeding bullet.
Walks on water if the sea is calm. Talks with God.
VIII°
Leaps short buildings with a running start & favourable winds. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine. Is faster than a speeding BB.
Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool. Talks with God if special request is approved.
VII°
Barely clears a Quonset hut. Loses tug of war with locomotive. Can fire a speeding bullet. Swims well. Is occasionally
addressed by God.
VI°
Makes high marks on the walls when trying to leap tall buildings. Is run over by locomotives. Can sometimes handle a gun without
self-injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals.
V°
Runs into buildings. Recognizes a locomotive
two out of three times. Is not issued ammunition.
Can't stay afloat without a life preserver.
Talks to walls.
IV° & PI°
Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Says "Look at the choo-choo." Wets self with water pistols. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to self.
0° - III°
Lifts the buildings and walks under them.
Kicks locomotives off the tracks.
Catches speeding bullets in teeth and eats them.
Freezes water with a single glance.
Is God.
NOTE: This parody appeared in my mail in an unmarked envelope in 1987. It was later published in The Magical Link Vol.1, No.3 April 1987 e.v., pg.18 and later in RED FLAME No.6 The Foolish Issue (1999).
(c) Cornelius 2003ev
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